Women can be tricky to read.
So you met a woman who caught your fancy and you are wondering how to tell if she likes you. It’s a question that has no doubt entered almost every man’s mind at some point in his life. After all, what better way to avoid rejection than by figuring out how a woman feels before signaling your romantic interest? Yet women can sometimes be quite hard to figure out, even when we think we’re making things blatantly obvious to the guy we’re into.
And let’s be honest, you men aren’t all that great at reading the signs much of the time.
Whether you like her and aren’t sure whether she’d say yes if you asked her out, or you’ve already been out, but you’re not sure whether she’s keen to carry things on, reading a woman can be a bit of a minefield.
The key is to watch for her body language: particular behaviors, little quirks, and other social cues that indicate whether she’s attracted to you or not. To help you, we’ve put together these 15 signs that show when to throw in the towel and accept she’s not interested (plus some signs that there might be a glimmer of hope that she is).
1. She’s not looking at you.
When we like a guy, we’ll end up watching him a lot whether we like it or not, and we probably won’t be that good at hiding it. If you look at her and catch her staring, that’s a good sign.
If she smiles at you when your eyes meet, or if she responds to your smile by smiling back, that’s even more positive. Especially if it’s one of those sweet, shy smiles that comes when you’ve been caught staring.
After all, it’s hard to hide your true feelings in the moment when you’re not prepared for it.
If she’s never paying you any attention, let alone looking at you, it’s time to give up.
2. She’s not looking FOR you.
If she comes into a room and knows you’re going to be there, watch to see if her eyes seek you out when she arrives.
Even if she doesn’t come over to you and goes to her friends instead, the fact she’s checking to see if you’re there is a very good sign, as it means you’ve been on her mind.
Those little glances signal that she is preparing herself mentally for an interaction with you later on.
If she’s not even looking for you, chances are, you’re not on her mind.
3. She doesn’t reply to your messages.
Again, this will vary from woman to woman, but generally, if we like someone, we’ll message them back pretty quickly.
That’s unless you’ve got into the dreaded ‘game’ of only replying after three days and feigning disinterest, in which case she’ll stick to that because most women don’t want to seem like the ‘keen’ one.
If her replies are infrequent or abrupt, she’s not likely to be keen.
4. She doesn’t seem very nervous around you.
When you first meet up, does she get a little tongue-tied? Does she struggle to come up with topics of conversation?
Is she not quite sure how to greet you? Should it be a handshake? A hug? A kiss on the cheek? A kiss on both cheeks? Or does she just stand there awkwardly?
If a woman likes you, she’ll have butterflies in her stomach when she first sees you, and that might mean her brain takes a short holiday.
She should soon relax into your company, but initial nerves are a sure sign she’s interested. So if these are missing, you may want to question whether her lack of nerves is because she just doesn’t care.
5. She never touches you.
Some women are uncomfortable with contact in public, so this doesn’t always apply, but generally, if she’s into you, she’ll find ways to touch you, even if they’re only small gestures.
Touching your arm is definitely a good clue she likes you, as it’s deliberate and surprisingly intimate. Or she might flirt in another physical way such as playfully hitting you or even being more direct if she’s confident and highly attracted to you. If she’s avoiding any contact with you, and worse, flinches when you touch her, it’s time to give up.
6. She’s vague about seeing you.
There’s nothing more infuriating than parting ways with a guy you like without any clear idea of when you’re seeing each other next.
If she’s not bothered about seeing you again, she’ll probably keep things vague, but if she’s interested in you, she might suggest certain days or times she’s free for another date.
7. She doesn’t laugh and smile with you.
If you know your jokes are bad yet she’s laughing at your dumbest jokes, that’s a definite sign that she’s got a crush on you.
Being around a guy we like generally puts us in a good mood and can make us very giggly, so smiles and laughter are excellent.
Look for big toothy grins that make her eyes sparkle too, and you know you’re in with a chance. If she hasn’t so much as cracked a smile in your presence, you’ve got your answer.
8. She never blushes around you.
Sometimes you might say or do something that makes her cheeks go pink or even bright red. This blushing has less to do with embarrassment and more to do with excitement and nervousness.
If you flirt with her and see those scarlet tones hit her cheeks, it’s a sign that she may be hiding real feelings for you. If she stays as pasty as a snowman, you may want to reconsider your efforts.
9. She’s not bothered about her appearance when she’s with you.
If a woman likes you, she will want to look her most attractive whenever you are around. So she will check her hair, touch up her makeup, and adjust her clothes to their rightful positions.
She may regularly tuck her hair behind her ear whilst you talk or reapply lip gloss during a bathroom break. These signs can be subtle, but if you are observant you will be able to spot them. If she’s not making any effort, she probably doesn’t think you’re worth it.
10. She keeps her distance physically.
If a woman is into you, she will probably lean in when you are talking or even take half a step toward you so as to fully engage with you.
Since this effectively pushes the boundaries of your personal space, it’s quite an intimate thing to do. But it shows interest in what you are saying and her high level of comfort around you. If she’s always keeping herself an arm’s length away from you (or more), it doesn’t sound like intimacy is on her mind.
11. She doesn’t tilt or drop her head when talking to you.
Another thing she might do without even realizing it is to tilt her head to one side slightly when you are talking. This expresses interest and shows that she is receptive to what you are saying.
This head tilt may be accompanied by a slight dropping of her chin toward the ground. The result is that her gaze is turned upward to your face, reducing her jawline and giving her the classic puppy dog eye look.
This is a slightly submissive pose that shows vulnerability and appeals to the man’s protective nature.
12. She doesn’t mirror you.
We humans naturally copy what others are doing if we want to appeal to them. This could be among friends or even in business settings, but it is particularly prominent in dating scenarios.
So if you spot her mirroring your gestures, your body language, or the things that you say, it’s her subconscious mind revealing its attraction to you. In contrast, if she’s doing the opposite of everything you do, she’s sending a clear message that you’re not on the same page.
13. She forgets things you’ve told her.
If she likes you, she’ll probably be listening to you.
If you’ve mentioned the name of your aunt’s dog or your little brother’s birthday and she remembers, that’s proof she’s hanging on your every word and is genuinely interested in what you’re telling her, rather than zoning out.
Don’t judge us too harshly on this one because some of us have horrendous memories (we’re only human), but if she remembers little things you’ve said, she’s clearly keen.
14. She doesn’t bother to ask you questions.
If she is interested, she will dig a little deeper by asking you questions. She wants to get to know the real you to assess whether you are boyfriend material.
She’s trying to figure out whether or not there is a connection there, so be prepared for some flirty banter that focuses mostly on you. And she’ll want to find out about any common interests you may share and about any skeletons hiding in your closet.
If she’s not interested, she won’t care enough to ask you questions. In fact, she’s probably zoned out whilst you’re talking.
15. She never pays you compliments.
If a woman wants you to have that warm, happy feeling when you’re together, she might compliment you or say other nice things about you.
She may speak positively about what you’re wearing or other aspects of your appearance. Or she might remark on something you did that particularly impressed her.
Whatever the context, if she is saying kind things about you, it’s a good sign that she wants you to like her.
If she never says anything nice to you or about you, it’s probably because she isn’t thinking anything nice either.
