If You Recognize These Signs, Your Partner Is An Energy Vampire

Does your partner leave you emotionally drained?

A close-up of a woman with long dark hair and a blue shirt. She looks pensive and concerned, resting her chin on her clasped hands while gazing into the distance, deep in thought. The background is blurred, emphasizing her expression and emotions.

You care about your partner, but you find the whole relationship stressful. Being around them is utterly exhausting.

While not everyone agrees that there’s such a thing as ’emotional vampires’, everyone can relate to the feeling of someone draining the energy out of them. And it’s not a healthy or sustainable relationship to be in.

Let’s take a look at the signs that you’re in a relationship with an energy vampire.

1. You feel exhausted all the time.

A man with light hair wearing a red plaid shirt over a white T-shirt is talking on the phone against a brick wall backdrop. He appears frustrated or exhausted, with one hand covering his closed eyes.

Obviously, a sign of an emotionally draining relationship is when you are left tired, frustrated, and annoyed after spending time with your partner.

Your partner is supposed to make you feel like you’re on top of the world, but instead, they make you feel like you’re coming down with the flu – tired, lackluster, and aching to crawl up in a ball in bed.

2. You think about them too much.

A young man with a short beard and wearing a light blue shirt stands outdoors, looking pensive with a slightly downcast gaze. The background is a blur of greenery and sunlight.

Maybe your partner has little to do with the reason why your relationship is exhausting you.

If you are constantly thinking about them and worrying about who they are with and what they are doing, it’s only natural that you’ll end up feeling drained.

If you can’t trust them, consider working on your trust issues with a therapist so as not to let your past experiences damage your current relationship.

Or perhaps you think about them too much because you don’t know what they are going to be like when you next see them. If they experience constant mood swings or you frequently fight, it’s normal to feel anxious about the next time you’ll talk.

3. You can’t wait to be away from them.

A man and woman are sitting at a table by a window, having a conversation. The woman gestures with one hand while holding a glass with a drink in the other. There are croissants and cups on the table. The setting appears to be a bright, sunny room.

It’s okay to need alone time in a relationship, but if you’re looking forward to being away from your partner more than you are to being around them, something is seriously off.

You crave the time you get to be away from them, and you feel like celebrating instead of missing them when they aren’t around.

You probably don’t want to feel that way, but you do, and you would prefer to be anywhere else but next to your exhausting partner.

4. You need time to recover after spending time with them.

A woman with long brown hair and wearing a pink sweater and blue jeans sits on the floor against a wall, looking distressed. She rests her forehead on her hand and has an expression of concern, with a bed and wardrobe visible in the background. — beautiful sweet lady getting headache painful sitting on living room floor

After spending time with them, you feel like you could use a nap, so you can’t do much other than rest and unwind.

Instead of feeling like your energy was boosted, you don’t feel like doing anything, and you need some time to forget about the conversations you had with your partner.

Unless the reason you don’t enjoy their company goes away, the problem in your relationship isn’t going to go away either.

People can sometimes be exhausting when they are dealing with a lot of issues that you can’t help them with. So don’t abandon your partner when they need you.

But consider whether you will feel this way every time they have issues and whether you can accept that.

5. You feel like they’re constantly asking too much of you.

A man and woman both wearing gray sweaters sit close together but facing different directions. The woman looks down with a serious expression while the man sits behind her with a thoughtful expression, slightly out of focus.

Emotionally draining people tend to unload their problems onto other people and this is exactly what makes them so exhausting.

It’s one thing when your partner has problems and needs your support, but if they are constantly asking too much of you without giving much in return, you have to consider whether it’s worth staying in a relationship like that.

Maybe they constantly complain, and you don’t think that there’ll ever be a solution for all their problems.

Whatever the case, you feel like they are burdening you with all their worries and emotions.

6. Your conversations are exhausting.

A woman with her hand on her forehead and a concerned expression stands beside a seated man leaning back in his chair, holding his head with one hand and a pill bottle in the other. They are surrounded by paperwork on a table in a dimly lit room.

Maybe you don’t fight in the terms of yelling at each other, but you constantly bicker and talking to them has become frustrating.

It simply requires too much of your energy to have a conversation with them, and it doesn’t feel worth it.

Your conversations are supposed to be uplifting and leave you feeling fulfilled and energized. If they’re not like that, maybe you’re not a good match.

Or perhaps your relationship has hit such a big bump in the road that it’s time to involve someone else in your problems so that you can go back to the way things were before.

Talk to a relationship counselor, and they’ll give you ways you could improve your communication and connection.

7. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them.

A woman in a white dress embraces a man in a white shirt, resting her head against his back with her eyes closed. They stand outdoors in a grassy field, with a blurred natural background.

You’re worried about making the wrong move when you are near them. What if you say or do the wrong thing? You feel tense and stressed out, and it’s like you have to walk on eggshells around them so as not to cause a fight or upset them.

It’s exhausting to have to be so careful what you say and do, and you shouldn’t feel that way with your partner.

You should feel safe to be yourself around your partner, and being with them should leave you full of positive energy. If they are affecting you in a negative way instead of bringing out the best in you, something is very wrong with your relationship.

8. You don’t feel like your needs are being met.

A woman in a plaid shirt rests her head on her hand and looks pensive. In the background, a man with a gray beard sits with his head resting on his hand, appearing equally contemplative. Both have expressions suggesting sadness or deep thought.

Are you constantly listening to them? Do they fight their way into getting what they want? What are you getting from this relationship?

If you feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting in return and like your needs aren’t being met, it’s no wonder you feel emotionally drained by the relationship.

A one-sided relationship is not a healthy relationship. It puts too much strain on one person until they eventually break.

9. Your relationship is causing problems in other aspects of your life.

A woman and a man, both dressed in business attire, sit in the back seat of a car. The woman is resting her head on her hand, appearing tired. The man looks out the window, deep in thought. Sunlight streams in through the windows, illuminating the car's interior.

Your friends, family, work, finances, downtime, health, and other aspects of your life shouldn’t be too affected by your relationship, especially not negatively.

If your friends and family don’t see you anymore, your boss complains about your lack of productivity lately, your wallet is empty, you have no time for your hobbies, and your mental health is suffering, you’re in an emotionally draining relationship.

10. You can’t be yourself around them or say what you really mean.

A woman and a man are sitting close to each other. The woman has long brown hair and is wearing a white shirt, looking at the man with a concerned expression. The man, in a blue shirt, is holding his face with both hands, appearing distressed or upset.

If you feel uncomfortable sharing your feelings with your partner and expressing your thoughts on certain issues, it’s certainly not a good sign.

Keeping up with that is probably going to leave you resentful and unsatisfied because you are suppressing your true self to please your partner.

Say the truth even if it’s not what they want to hear, and don’t be afraid to speak up about what bothers you.

If you can’t be yourself around the person you’re supposed to spend most of your time with, what’s the point in spending it with them in the first place?

11. You constantly have to worry about them.

A close-up of an older couple. The man is in the foreground, looking contemplative with his hand near his temple. The woman is slightly behind him, with her hand gently resting on his shoulder, looking at him with concern. Both are wearing casual clothing.

Maybe they have a lot of issues, and you want to help fix them. But it’s leaving you in a state of constant worry because you can’t find the solutions.

When your partner struggles with a problem, it’s only natural that you want to fix it. When you can’t, you could start worrying about their well-being more than you do your own.

You get caught up in the role of a caretaker, which forces you to put your own issues aside in order to focus entirely on the drama your partner is experiencing.

12. They don’t lift you up.

Two people, one with short blond hair and the other with long light hair, sit on a gray couch in a bright room with large windows. They appear upset, with one sitting cross-legged and the other leaning on one arm, looking away. A wooden coffee table is in front of them.

Ultimately, a relationship should contribute to you feeling good, and being with your partner should lift you up, not make you feel like you’ve worked all day.

Your partner should boost you emotionally, and you should feel positive and energized when you’re with them.

Naturally, this can’t always happen, and there will be days when you’ll just feel relaxed or bored, but it’s not the same as feeling emotionally drained.