If You Keep Falling For The Wrong Man, You're Making These 12 Mistakes

1. You believe in Hollywood love.

The love you see in the movies isn’t quite the love you can expect to have in real life, so try to remember that fictional stories are just that – fictional.

Don’t expect someone to run to the airport and stop you from leaving at the last second. Yes, love can be romantic, and you’ll experience some movie scenes in real life, but don’t believe in Hollywood love. Don’t expect things that only happen in movies, and don’t let those movies cloud your judgment.

You might end up thinking that things will always work out because they always do… in movies – and this is the part you need to be clear on. Dramatic fights and huge romantic gestures belong on the big screen, so don’t try to play out your own version of the Notebook or any other love story you’ve watched.

Don’t romanticize forbidden love, dangerous love, affairs, and other things that you often see in movies. Your life is not a movie, and you need to work on your own happy ending where you find a more peaceful, calm, and respectful love that you don’t see a lot of in romantic movies full of excitements and twists.

2.You give yourself false hope.

A man with wavy blonde hair wearing a green jacket and a white shirt smiles at a woman with long blonde hair wearing a black jacket and a white shirt. They are outside, with blurred buildings in the background.

You need to realize when healthy hope turns into wishful thinking.

Take the example of hoping that someone will change. If they’ve done nothing to show progress, don’t cross your fingers and dream that they’ll magically turn into the person you deserve to be with.

You need to be with the person you dream of instead of dreaming that someone will suddenly become that person.

We often fall for the wrong people just because of this false hope. Some people even get married and still hope that the frog they kissed will turn into a prince.

If the person you’re dating is not the person you’ve imagined for yourself, don’t try to see what isn’t there. Sometimes, the person will actually put effort into changing, and that’s when you can get your hopes up.

However, ask yourself whether they could ever be the person you want to be with. Could they ever live up to your expectations? If you actually aren’t happy with who they are as a person, why are you with them to begin with?

Don’t make someone change the essence of who they are just so they could be with you. Trust me, neither of you will be happy in the long run.

3. You don’t confront your fears.

A man lying on a carpeted floor types on a laptop while a woman sits next to him, leaning against a couch and holding a pillow. They appear to be in a bright, modern living room with large windows in the background.

A lot of fears can cause an unhappy love life, including fear of abandonment, fear of loss, and fear of being alone.

Don’t allow your fears to dictate who you are going to date and what your relationship is going to be like.

If you have had bad experiences in the past, they have probably left their mark on you and the way you approach relationships. A therapist could help you confront your fears and prevent them from causing harm to your future relationships.

It’s normal to feel afraid of ending up alone or getting rejected, but you can’t let these fears determine how you’re going to live your life. Learn to deal with your fears in a healthy way so that you can form healthy relationships.

4. You don’t set healthy boundaries in relationships.

A couple sits on a stone bench outdoors. The man, wearing a cap and dark clothing, embraces the woman from behind, smiling. The woman, wearing a patterned jacket and purple pants, closes her eyes and smiles. The background features historical architecture and statues.

To have healthy relationships, you also need healthy boundaries. Some people get deeply enmeshed with the wrong person because they don’t set boundaries. Others agree to go on dates with those they know aren’t right for them because they can’t say no to their friends and family members who are convincing them to do it.

You need to establish firm boundaries in all your relationships to make sure that you are treated the way you should be.

Don’t get so enmeshed in a relationship that you can’t tell where you end and your partner begins. Don’t agree to anything you’re not comfortable with just because someone wants you to do it. Don’t keep putting up with someone’s bad behavior because you don’t know how to tell them that you’re not happy.

Draw the line in all your relationships, and don’t let anyone cross it.

5. You date the same person over and over again.

A man in a blue t-shirt plays a video game using a controller while sitting on a bed. Behind him, a woman with curly hair and in a striped shirt sits slightly turned to the side, looking away with a neutral expression. The room is bright with white decor.

You could find yourself dating the same person over and over again, even though the person in question changes. This means that you might have a type, and it might be the wrong one.

Maybe you are always attracted to cheaters, addicts, trouble makers, unavailable people, players, or even abusers. Perhaps it’s not that specific, but you were with the wrong person, and you keep choosing the people who exhibit the same traits.

It would be a good idea to learn how to recognize the type of person you seem to be drawn to even though they’re wrong for you, and to identify the reasons why you keep choosing these people.

A therapist could help you identify your unhealthy patterns and stop seeking the attention of all the wrong people.

6. You settle for one-sided relationships.

A man with a beard, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, is sitting on a gray sofa with his left arm resting on the back. A woman in glasses, wearing a yellow shirt and green pants, stands in front of him, holding two white mugs, offering one to the man.

Someone who is not equally invested in the relationship as you are is clearly the wrong person for you.

Maybe they are an amazing person, and you’re very compatible, but for whatever reason, you feel like your feelings and efforts aren’t being reciprocated.

A healthy relationship involves teamwork, and one person alone can’t make a team. So, when someone isn’t willing to put as much effort into your relationship as you are, look for someone who will be.

It sounds much simpler than it is, but you shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship where you’ll be the only glue holding things together. Don’t force things that aren’t meant to be.

7. You don’t know your priorities.

A woman wearing a red dress is sitting at a table with a man in a restaurant with large windows. She is smiling with her hands under her chin. The table has two wine glasses and a bouquet of red roses. The background shows a blurred view of the city through the windows.

While it’s certainly nice to be with someone good-looking and wealthy, this shouldn’t be your top criteria when choosing a romantic partner. In fact, things like these should be at the bottom of your list. It’s much more important to look for similar values, understanding, respect, compatibility, and love.

So, don’t fall for things that don’t matter that much. Good looks and wealth are certainly desirable, but you should look at these things as possible bonus traits, not a must.

If you’re looking for a long-term partner, the way you communicate, the way you get along, and the way they treat you are the things you should pay attention to, not the size of their smile or wallet.

8. You tolerate men who don’t value or respect you.

A bearded man wearing a light gray shirt sits next to a woman with blonde hair, tattoos, and a nose ring, who is wearing a denim shirt. They are indoors with a white background, which includes a lamp and shelves. The woman is smiling while looking at the man.

Why would you be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you, continuously disrespects you, and makes you feel bad about yourself? Your partner is supposed to make you happy, and if they aren’t even trying to, why are you choosing them?

If they take you for granted and make you doubt your self-worth, they are definitely wrong for you.

The reason you’re settling for the way they treat you might be because you don’t love yourself enough to realize that you deserve better. You could end up with someone so bad for you that they seriously harm your self-esteem and make you feel like you don’t deserve better, even if you thought you did.

Stay away from those people and show yourself love.

9. You’re rushing to find someone and get into a serious relationship.

A woman with long blonde hair and glasses is holding a glass of red sangria with fruit pieces. She is smiling and looking at a man sitting across from her. They appear to be at an outdoor restaurant or cafe.

Regardless of your age, there’s still plenty of time to find the right person. So don’t be in a rush. It’s never too late, but even if you think that there’s not much time, you’re not doing yourself any favors by rushing things.

In fact, people often get involved with the wrong person precisely because they’re rushing to find someone or to get into a serious relationship.

Rushing often means settling, so take your time and get to know the person you might be interested in having a future with. Take time to date different people to find out who you want to be with.

Most importantly, don’t pressure yourself into finding a life-long partner because you’re likely to end up with the wrong one if you do. Think of it this way: there’s always time to settle for the wrong person if things don’t work out, so take your time when you’re searching for the right one.

10. You always follow your heart.

A woman with curly hair embraces and nuzzles a smiling man with curly hair. She has her arms wrapped around his shoulders and they are both enjoying the intimate moment. The background is softly blurred.

Following your heart sounds like advice, but the heart can be foolish, and it can lead us into trouble. Your heart might start beating faster for someone your mind knows isn’t right for you. It happens all the time.

So, while you certainly shouldn’t ignore your heart’s desires, you should check in with your mind and gut feeling to make sure your heart isn’t wishing for someone who’ll just break it.

It takes a lot of strength to refuse to be with someone even though your heart longs for them, so you have to trust your common sense much more than your heart.

11. You don’t steer clear of men who are bad for you.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a gray sweater, embraces a man with brown hair, in a beige shirt and knitted cardigan. They sit closely on a couch, smiling and looking into each other's eyes, conveying affection and warmth.

Clearly, you should stay away from those who are bad for you, but this is easier said than done.

When you know that someone is wrong for you, trust your gut and stay away from them. The longer you try to make it work in spite of what you already know, the harder it will be to admit defeat and give up.

While there are always ways to save a relationship, not all relationships are worth saving, and not all couples are willing to work on saving them. So, know when to back away and look for someone else.

12. You don’t take advice from people who care about you.

Two women sit on a green couch, engaged in conversation and holding white mugs. Both have blonde hair, styled in high buns. One wears a light grey blouse, and the other wears a pale pink blouse. A white brick wall and green plants are in the background.

More often than not, when someone is wrong for us, our friends and family members are going to warn us about it.

Most teenagers have deliberately gone against their family’s wishes, but once they grow up, they often realize why their parents didn’t want them to date the person in question.

So, as a mature adult, don’t date someone just to make your parents mad. If people who care about you don’t support your choice of partner, take their advice into consideration.

While they’re not always right, they normally want what’s best for you, and they might be shining some light on a red flag that you’re choosing to ignore.