Let’s face it, there’s something weirdly attractive about authority figures and people in power. So, having a crush on your boss isn’t that uncommon – in fact, it happens a lot more often than you might think.
The big question is: what should you do about it, and can you handle the possible consequences of acting on your crush?
If you’ve found yourself batting eyelashes at your boss, you’re not the only person to have ever felt that way, but what good can come of it?
You know what they say about “dipping your feather in the company ink” and how many problems this could cause, but you just can’t help it. After all, you can’t choose who you’ll have a crush on.
So, what now?
You are probably aware that this is a tricky situation, but there is a scenario where you can get involved with your boss. However, this depends on a lot of factors and the situation you are in.
There are many things you need to think about before throwing yourself into a complicated love story that might even cost you your job.
Before you act on your feelings, please consider these 10 things carefully in order to save yourself from unnecessary problems.
Speak to a certified relationship counselor about this issue. Why? Because they have the training and experience to help you figure out what to do about the crush you have on your boss. You may want to try speaking to someone via RelationshipHero.com for practical advice that is tailored to your exact circumstances.
1. Their relationship status.
First and foremost, is your boss available? It’s complicated enough that they’re your boss, but if they’re also in a relationship with someone else or even married, things can get really messy.
You don’t want to get romantically involved with someone who is already taken because it ends badly almost every time. Unless they are single or in an open relationship, you will just get yourself into a lot of trouble.
The truth is, they probably aren’t going to leave their partner for you, so you will either get rejected or they’ll cheat on their partner with you. Either way, you will probably get hurt and risk your job for a relationship that is unlikely to have a future.
On the other hand, what if your boss is single and nobody is standing in the way of your potential relationship? Granted, this makes things easier for you, but they are still your boss, and they still might reject you.
Did they flirt with you or show that they’re interested in you in any other way? If so, maybe you’re not risking breaking anyone’s heart, including yours.
But you are risking your job, which brings us to the second thing to consider if you have a crush on your manager…
2. Company policies.
It’s not out of the ordinary for company policies to prohibit relationships between employees.
Your boss probably also has a boss who won’t be happy about those sparks flying around in the workplace. So, you are not just risking your job, you’re risking theirs.
Even if your boss likes you back, if it’s against the rules for the two of you to hook up, their job will probably mean more to them than a possible relationship with you. This means that they might reject you to keep their job, and you’ll end up creating an awkward atmosphere in the workplace.
But what if relationships between employees aren’t against company policy? You should still check this to make sure, but if it’s true, you might be in the clear, at least as far as the boss of your boss is considered.
However, while you might both get to keep your jobs, your relationship might make things weird at work, and your boss might still fire you eventually. This is why it’s very important to consider how much your job means to you in comparison to how much your boss means to you, but we’ll get to that.
3. Possible job loss.
Right now, the crucial question is could your feelings get you fired? And regardless of the situation you’re in, the answer is yes.
You could get fired because of the company policy, because your boss doesn’t want to be with you, or they could fire you after hooking up with you.
Whatever the case may be, they certainly have the power to let you go, and trying to get involved with them can end in you losing your job.
All in all, if you are considering letting your boss know about your feelings, you should stay aware of the possible consequences and only do it if it will be worth it.
Consider whether you care about them so much that you don’t care about losing your job, or is it just a small crush that could go away over time?
4. Your work relationship.
Getting fired is only one of the job risks that come with feelings for your boss, because you might also lose your chance for a promotion or get transferred to a different department.
In addition, you should consider your work relationship. How will things change at work when you confess your feelings for them? Whether they like you back or not, things are probably going to get awkward at work.
The problem with dating people you work with is that, if you don’t lose your job, you’ll get to see them every day, regardless of what happens between you. This means that you won’t be able to run away from them and avoid them like you could if you got involved with someone outside of your workplace.
While seeing your boss at work now might not seem like a problem, think about how it will be if they reject you, or if they get involved with you and you break up.
Even if you and your boss end up in a happy, healthy relationship, things are going to change at work. So, dating your boss doesn’t come without consequences, even if they want to be with you.
Staying professional in such a situation is hard to pull off. Basically, things are going to get weird and messy whether they reject you or get involved with you, and unless they turn out to be the love of your life, it will be even worse when you break up.
No matter how professional you and your boss are, your feelings are going to change the vibe between you and the atmosphere around you, so think twice before you confess those feelings.
5. Possible rejection.
Did your boss give you any hints that they feel the same way about you? If not, there’s a real chance that you’re going to get rejected. It’s probably wise not to confess your feelings unless you are fairly sure that they are reciprocated.
They might reject you even if they reciprocate your feelings because of the aforementioned job-related problems, so if they don’t even feel the same way about you, you should try to move on.
But what if they like you back and really want to be with you? Well, they might be doing the same thing you are now (reading about things to consider if you have a crush on your employee) because they are aware of the job risks too. So, they certainly won’t jump into your arms even if it’s all they want to do.
This means that you might be facing rejection even if your boss would like to see where it goes with you. Their job might mean more to them than your potential future together.
On the bright side, you might be able to talk about it if you both feel the same way. Things will be easier in that case, and if they truly mean that much to you, you could even consider finding another job and getting involved with your boss once they’re not your boss anymore.
6. Reactions of colleagues.
If you get involved with your boss, you should consider how your colleagues are going to react to this juicy news. The two of you might become the subject of gossip around the workplace, and your colleagues might treat the two of you differently from then on.
Both of you are risking losing your good reputation, but not just that. Some of your colleagues might even complain about your relationship or think that you’re getting better treatment at work because you’re going home with the boss.
Ultimately, rest assured that your relationship won’t go unnoticed at work, no matter how hard you try to hide it, and you will have to suffer the consequences.
If your relationship is against company policy and you get involved anyway, you certainly won’t be able to keep it a secret for long. Once your colleagues find out, they might report you, and they will most definitely notice the difference between the two of you even if it’s not against the rules.
7. Your feelings.
Something else to consider if you are crushing on your manager is the way you feel about them. Is it just a crush or something more? As you already learned, you could be risking a lot by getting involved with them, so the big question is – is it worth it?
If you only have a small crush on your boss, your feelings might go away with time, and there’s no point in going through all that trouble if you’re only looking for a physical relationship.
Is what you’re feeling more than a crush? If you think that you’re in love and you want a serious relationship with your boss, don’t ignore your feelings. Maybe they are worth the trouble, but if so, it might be best to consider getting a different job first. That way, they wouldn’t be your boss anymore, and you’d be free to find out whether they truly are the love of your life.
8. Time.
You clearly have a crush since you’re reading this article, and you want to do something about it. Maybe you think that it’s love that you’re feeling, and maybe it is, but did you give it some time?
Crushes can seem a lot like love, but the feelings fade away much sooner than with real love, so think about how long you have been feeling this way. If it only started recently, it’s best to wait for a while and see if the problem will go away on its own.
You certainly shouldn’t confess your feelings to your boss if you aren’t even sure that those feelings are serious and not just temporary.
Even if you are sure about your feelings, give yourself some time to think about everything and decide what means more to you – your job or your potential relationship with your boss. If they mean enough to you to risk your job, go for it and see if there’s something there.
9. Your possible future together.
Would the relationship that you could have with your boss have a future? Maybe your feelings are serious, but can you have a serious relationship with them, or it will end in heartbreak?
Having a fling with your boss simply isn’t worth risking your job for, but if there’s a possible future there, it might be. Don’t risk your job for a meaningless relationship, but if you think that you and they could actually have a future together, follow your heart.
To know whether there could be a potential future there, you need to be aware of the way your boss feels about you, as well as whether they are available. If they never gave you a reason to think that they could be into you, or they are in a committed relationship with someone else, can you really have a future with them?
Are the two of you even that compatible? Do you have enough in common? Do you share similar values? Do you want the same thing from a relationship?
Think about your possible future at your job too. Do you like your job, and could you advance in your career by sticking to that job? Your future matters the most, so keep it in mind before making your decision.
10. Quitting your job.
In the end, you should definitely think about quitting your job if your feelings are serious and you know they won’t go away with time.
This might even be the best decision you can make, whether your boss likes you or not. If you act on your feelings, it will change your working relationship, but isn’t it already different even if they aren’t aware of how you feel?
Mixing pleasure with work is rarely a good idea, but your boss is not just your boss. They are a man or a woman, and if you don’t work for them anymore, nothing will stand in the way of the two of you expressing your emotions.
Think about all of these things, and if you are willing to quit your job in order to be with them, you should definitely confess your feelings to them. If they feel the same way about you, they’ll be glad that you’re willing to separate your work life from your romantic life.
It will save you both the trouble of trying to act like there’s nothing going on. So, in the end, you have only one question to answer, and it will help you answer all the rest – are they worth it?
Don’t answer this question right away. Give it some time, think things through, and try to find out about their relationship status and the way they feel about you before making your intentions clear.
Once you do, decide whether this person is worth risking your job for. If they are, follow your heart, and you’ll hopefully have the future that you’re planning to have with them.
Don’t forget that that future is not guaranteed though. It never is, regardless of whether they’re your boss, friend, or anything else. But when they’re your boss, it’s different because you’re risking your career, so even if you think that they are worth it now, you might regret your decision later on.
This is why it’s important to consider all of these things, to give it some time, and to act on your feelings only if you are ready to face the possible consequences.
Why not carefully read this article one more time so that you’re perfectly aware of everything that could happen and can rest assured that you won’t have regrets?
Still not sure whether or not to act on your crush? This is a tricky situation with a lot of potentially major consequences, so it can really help to talk things through with an experienced relationship expert who has guided others in your situation to their best outcome. So why not chat online to one of the experts from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out.
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