Have you ever been made fun of by someone else?
Do you remember what you thought and felt during that experience?
Do you still have lasting scars from what you experienced? And did you ever tease others in turn?
Let’s examine the psychology behind why some people like to mock others. Then we’ll delve into how to deal with this kind of behavior.
Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist if someone is making fun of you and it’s getting you down. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient.
12 Psychological Reasons Why People Make Fun Of Others
There are several reasons why people might make fun of you, though it’s important to say that none of these reasons are meant as justification for their actions.
Instead, they aim to pull back the psychological curtain to explain a common but unpleasant behavior.
1. Insecurity (they put others down to make themselves look better).
A person who constantly makes fun of others is often incredibly insecure about their status in the social group.
As a result, they try to climb the social ladder by drawing attention to others’ shortcomings.
They tease and mock those around them in an attempt to establish or maintain a position at the top, or at least close to it.
Or they might be quite low in terms of social hierarchy and take opportunities to torment other people to get into their peers’ good graces.
2. They’re uncomfortable with those who are different.
Some people make fun of anyone who’s different from them.
This might involve mocking those who have different fashion or entertainment preferences, but it can also center on differences in ethnicity or appearance.
Xenophobia is a fear of strangers, but it can also refer to a fear of anything foreign or unfamiliar.
Xenophobia is why some people get angry if others speak in a language they don’t understand when they’re in their presence.
Mockery and belittlement can also be used to reinforce a person’s stance that their choices and preferences are correct and that anything different is somehow weird or “wrong.”
A person’s clothing, mannerisms, gender identity, speech, and so on—whatever is different becomes grounds for disdain and ridicule.
3. Learned behaviors from others.
People often mimic the behavior they’ve been exposed to, especially when it comes to family and close social dynamics.
As a result, if someone has grown up in an environment where mocking others was normal and commonplace, they’ll be likely to do the same.
Sadly, some parents use mockery and negative reinforcement to try to encourage their children to do various things.
Guess what those kids are going to do to others (including their own children) as they get older?
4. Projection about their own perceived flaws or shortcomings.
When someone dislikes something about themselves, they might make fun of those who also have those traits, but to a greater degree than they do.
One classic example of this would be a person who’s overweight but mocks those who have larger bodies. They may even tease those who are trying to get fit.
Basically, whatever they hate about themselves, they’ll ridicule in others. It’s self-loathing by proxy.
5. The need to be the center of attention.
Some folks get an endorphin rush from the attention that comes from people laughing at their jokes, and they strive to get more of it by any means possible.
As such, if someone got an intense reaction after roasting someone else, they might try to recreate the experience.
Deep down, they don’t have anything against their victim. It’s very much a situation of: “It’s nothing personal—I just need to burn you because what I say makes others laugh, and that’s great for my ego.”
6. “Better than average effect” (BTAE).
This is a psychological effect in which people show how superior they are to others based on their personal behaviors.
Then they put down those who either don’t behave the same way or whose efforts pale in comparison to their own.
This is especially common in those whose self-esteem is inextricably entwined with certain life choices.
When and if others don’t behave as they do, they feel threatened in their position of perceived superiority and seek to put others down by any means possible.
In essence, it’s a type of “holier-than-thou-ism” that manifests as shaming and mockery.
7. Ethical erosion.
Ethical erosion is a behavior that’s often demonstrated by people who are in positions of power or authority, such as healthcare providers and law enforcement officers.
When and if they come across others they perceive as being morally inferior or stupid, those people become targets for mockery and contempt.
A perfect example of this would be a doctor who makes fun of an obese patient for developing diabetes. They shame the patient by telling them that it would have been prevented if they had made “smarter” life choices.
This isn’t limited to healthcare workers, of course. Difficult, stressful times often show us the worst sides of people, causing them to abandon reason, logic, and basic human decency in an attempt to make themselves feel safe and protected.
8. Contempt toward perceived weakness.
Have you ever noticed that many of the people who seem the most frail and vulnerable are on the receiving end of mockery and contempt?
This is very much a herd mentality situation, in which those who are considered weak will be rejected by the strong.
Athletes might make fun of those who are small or unfit. Popular people laugh and tease those whom they consider “weird” or unattractive.
The privileged try to maintain their position in the social hierarchy by any means necessary, often by ridiculing others who have less than or are less than in their eyes.
9. Fear.
Some people develop a dark sense of humor and use mockery as a coping mechanism when it comes to things that they’re afraid of.
If a person is experiencing a difficult situation or is struggling with a health concern, they may find themselves as the butt of jokes by others.
One example I can think of is a girl who was going through chemotherapy treatment for leukemia when we were in our teens. She lost about 30lbs as well as all her hair, and she was constantly being made fun of by our peers.
Later on, I overheard some students in the restroom discussing how fearful they were of getting cancer themselves.
They didn’t have the healthy coping mechanisms needed to work through the difficult emotions they were feeling, so they lashed out instead.
10. They feel powerless, so they try to take power from others.
One of the main reasons why people make fun of others is because they feel small.
Someone else—possibly an abusive parent or older sibling—has put them in a position where they feel powerless, and they don’t have a healthy means of dealing with it.
All the difficult emotions they experience because of someone else’s cruelty must go somewhere.
While some people turn everything inward and repress their hurts and frustrations, others lash out at those around them in a process psychologists call displacement.
In particular, they’ll choose to unleash their hurt on those who are least likely to fight back in order to feel empowered again.
11. Low emotional intelligence.
Some people simply think that anything different from what they like is inferior or dumb and choose to mock it accordingly.
They don’t even consider how their behavior affects others, because why would they?
Everything they say is hilarious to them, and if you try to argue a differing opinion, well you’re just wrong.
If you call them out on their behavior, they’ll laugh even harder and tell you to relax because it’s “just a joke.”
12. Control.
Mockery is often a technique that abusers use to control or change others around them.
It’s frequently used by narcissists to adjust their partners or children into versions that they would prefer, and they can be unrelenting in their abuse until the one they’re making fun of makes the changes demanded of them.
The abuser will either fixate on things they want their victim to change or on aspects the victim likes in order to degrade them.
This behavior isn’t limited to narcissists either.
Some parents will make fun of their offspring to try to shift them into becoming what they perceive as “better” (e.g., more preferable) versions of themselves.
Even worse, their abusive behavior is justified by them as “just trying to help,” when in fact it’s a means of coercion and control.
What To Do When Someone Makes Fun Of You
It is a good idea to seek professional help from one of the therapists at BetterHelp.com as professional therapy can be highly effective in helping you to deal with the person who is making fun of you and the psychological effects their words have had on you.
There are a few different approaches you can take if you’re being teased regularly. These usually involve either calling someone out on their terrible behavior or stopping them from continuing to make fun of you in the future.
Ask them to explain themselves.
This is one of the best responses you can use because they never can explain their behavior, which inevitably results in them proving that they’re the a**hole.
If someone humiliates you in public, ask them to please explain to the group why what they’ve said is funny.
Don’t let them off the hook when they pull the “it’s just a joke” line, either. Ask them to explain why this is a joke and what is so terribly amusing about it.
They will likely either try to change the subject or find a reason to excuse themselves.
It’ll cause them a fair amount of embarrassment, so be warned that they might get belligerent or aggressive with you about it later.
Laugh at them.
One of the best ways to respond when someone makes fun of you is to laugh at them in turn.
These insignificant little petty tyrants have so little going on in their lives that the only joy they get is in trying to make fun of you.
If that isn’t worthy of a chuckle, what is?
Refuse to dignify what they’ve said with a response.
If someone has insulted or made fun of you, they’re undoubtedly waiting to see how you respond.
They won’t know what to do if you refuse to give them the energy they’re seeking.
After they’ve said their piece, just look at them flatly for a few heartbeats, and then turn back to whatever it was you were doing.
This lets them know that what they’ve said isn’t worth your time or energy.
Report them to a higher authority, if you feel that it’s warranted.
If the person who’s making fun of you is a colleague, talk to the human resources (HR) department about their behavior.
Let them know that this person is creating a hostile work environment, and provide solid examples of how they’ve been tormenting you.
Chances are high that this person has already been reported for poor behavior toward others. If they’ve been written up enough times, they might actually be sacked due to continued workplace harassment.
If this happens, know that you didn’t “make them lose their job.” They did that themselves by treating others badly.
If you’re in high school, talk to your guidance counselor or a teacher whom you trust. Similarly, if you’re away at college, file a report with your student services representative.
Respond with compassion.
Keep in mind that other people’s behavior toward you has little to do with you and everything to do with them.
As such, disarm their mockery with compassion and kindness, even if you don’t sincerely feel it.
In situations like this, it’s helpful to know some details of their personal life that you can use as fuel for your retort.
For instance, if they make fun of your appearance, you can let them know that you understand that they’re going through a difficult time.
They usually have no idea how to respond to this and either shut up or leave.
Be prepared to shut them down.
Depending on the situation and the people involved, sometimes it’s better to shut the other person down so they stop permanently, rather than trying to “be the bigger person and rise above.”
Sometimes, the best thing you can do to stop someone from making fun of you is to take away their pleasure in doing so by using comeback lines that suck the air out of their sails.
If someone is making fun of your appearance:
Look them up and down slowly, smirk, and ask, “Do you own a mirror? Or do they shatter themselves to avoid you?”
…or insult them several times harder.
If they’re making fun of some aspect of how you look, take note of their potential insecurities and turn the mockery around.
As an example, if some girl at the office is making fun of what you’re wearing because it’s too revealing, and you know she had a bad breakup recently, smile brightly and let her know that her ex-boyfriend appreciates what you wear… especially when it’s crumpled on his bedroom floor.
Once she’s finished crying in the office bathroom, she’ll likely leave you alone from there on in.
Make them uncomfortable:
One of the best responses to mockery that I ever saw was when someone yelled “F*G” at a rather flamboyantly gay male friend of mine in class. He waved back and said, “It’s great that you’re advertising, but I’m not interested!”
Everyone erupted into laughter, and the guy who’d yelled the insult stormed out of the room.
When they get a response they didn’t expect, they don’t know how to respond. This helps you establish dominance in the situation, while they make themselves look like fools.
Let them know their words don’t mean a thing to you:
There’s a great comeback that I’ve used to good effect on several occasions, whether in school, social groups, or work environments.
After they’ve made what they think is a cutting or mocking remark, smile gently and say, “Your opinion is as worthless as you are.” Then walk away and don’t look back.
This neutralizes every comeback they might dredge up and addresses every single causal factor mentioned above.
Note: When you’re using comebacks and retorts to shut the other person down, always remain calm.
Never raise your voice, nor allow yourself to show any emotion other than amusement or mild annoyance.
If the person making fun of you escalates things physically after you respond to them, you can file a report or press charges against them accordingly.
Still not sure what to do when people make fun of you?
Speak to a therapist about it.
Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours.
They can help you to manage the situation while addressing any harm the person’s words or actions have had on you.
BetterHelp.com is a website where you can connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.
While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.
Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.
Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.
