When a man is afraid of losing you, he will do anything to keep you around.
Maybe you had a big fight, you even broke up, or he simply realized how much he loves you. Either way, if he thinks he is losing you, he will try to stop that from happening.
When a guy says he doesn’t want to lose you, trust him, especially if you see some of the signs listed below.
When he is willing to show you how scared he is of letting you go, it means that he cares deeply about you. So, he probably regrets if he has done anything to cause a problem in your relationship.
Here’s how to know when a man is scared to lose you.
23 Signs He Is Afraid Of Losing You
1. He makes you a priority.
You come first in his life, and he puts your needs ahead of his own. He drops everything to be with you and focuses entirely on you, even when there are other people around.
Maybe he used to take you for granted before, but now your happiness comes first. You’re the most important person in his life, and he makes you feel special and appreciated.
He makes you feel like you’re one in a million and treats you that way, even if he didn’t before.
The point is, he wants you to feel good about yourself and about your relationship. He is looking to right any wrongs and make you happy.
2. He meets all your needs.
Your wish is his command. Whatever you need, you just have to ask for it. Maybe he didn’t meet your needs before, but now he’s trying really hard to make you happy.
He’s there for you when you need him to be, he is generous with his money, and things have gotten even better in the bedroom. He would do anything to make you happy and keep you that way. He’ll treat you like a queen.
Maybe what you need right now is some alone time and self-care. If so, he’ll respect that too. Even though he’ll fight for you, he’ll give you the time and space that you need if you ask for it.
He’ll want to make sure that you are happy, even if it causes him problems or discomfort. He will be willing to sacrifice his own needs and put all his resources (time, effort, energy, money, care, etc.) into making sure that your needs are met.
Just be aware that this is unhealthy in the long run and that he should not throw himself under the bus for you because it will eventually lead to resentment. You might have to be the one to remind him of this and bring things back to a healthier balance.
3. He apologizes and tries to make up for his mistakes.
If he did something that caused problems in your relationship, he will admit his mistakes and apologize for them. He’ll promise never to repeat the same mistake again and take full responsibility for what he did. Instead of blaming you or trying to justify his actions, he’ll own up to his mistakes and give you a sincere apology.
What’s more, he’ll try to make up for what he did, probably by treating you better than ever before. He might become more generous with his time, money, attention, affection, and anything else he can offer you. So, you’ll get a lot of compliments and meaningful gifts.
He’ll want to make things right again, so he might even suggest or at least agree to couples counseling. He is prepared to try it and put his own energy into fixing the problem as well.
4. He shows a lot of affection.
You will get a lot of love from him now, even if he wasn’t that affectionate before. Once he realizes that he could lose you, he’ll want to hold on tight so that doesn’t happen. He’ll literally hold you, touch you, kiss you, and use other forms of physical affection besides sex to show you how much you mean to him.
He’ll also give you gifts, take you out, show more interest in you and your life, and give you all his attention. He will likely use each of the five love languages to express his love for you, even if he only used one or two of them before.
He’ll probably want to go on dates with you and put effort into making your dates entertaining and romantic. He will also show more interest in your hobbies and interests and use them to find more ways to surprise you.
For instance, maybe he’ll buy you tickets to see your favorite band, take you to a fancy restaurant, or watch a cheesy romcom with you. This is a good sign he doesn’t want to lose you.
5. He changed his behavior.
If you weren’t happy with how things were before, you’ll now see a noticeable improvement. He’ll behave differently, treat you better, and work on improving everything—specifically the things that weren’t working for you before.
Maybe his appearance has changed, he’s acting differently, or his behavior toward you has improved. He wants to be a better man for you because he knows that you’re not going to settle for less.
He’ll make small habit changes or grand gestures, but either way, he’ll want to work on the relationship. This is a great opportunity to suggest counseling to make sure that the changes last. While people can change, sticking to the new version of themselves is not that easy, and a counselor can help keep him on track.
6. He doesn’t want to fight.
He’s calling to win you back, not to start an argument. He doesn’t want to fight anymore and is only interested in finding a solution, not who’s to blame for the problem or who wins the fight. He’ll be more patient and passive, even willing to agree with you just to make the fighting stop.
He is aware that fighting with you will lead to the end of your relationship, so he walks away from the argument. If you were about the break up because of a fight, he’ll make the first move after the argument and express his willingness to reconcile. He’ll even apologize if he did anything to cause such a big issue in your relationship.
While being able to stop fighting is important, reconciling is not the same as resolving the issue. Let him know that you don’t want him to agree with you just because it could stop you from fighting. You need to be able to resolve fights and talk things out.
Sometimes, this means that you’re going to fight, but with great conflict resolution skills, you could fight the problem, not each other.
7. He makes plans for the future.
He wants to have a future with you, so he’ll plan one and talk to you about it often. Maybe he’ll make vacation plans, invite you to his cousin’s wedding, or come up with potential baby names. He’ll talk about his financial plans and living together, if not starting a family as well. He will open up about his goals and where he sees himself five years from now.
When a man is afraid of losing you, he is afraid of his plans for the future disappearing, and now he wants you in on those plans. He wants to keep you around and is serious about commitment.
Maybe things weren’t this way before, but people often realize what they have when they’re about to lose it. So, he now treats you better and doesn’t take you for granted.
8. He spends all his free time with you.
Maybe your boyfriend didn’t make time for you before, but now he has found a way to. Now that you’re a priority to him, he spends all his free time with you. He is willing to ditch friends, cancel plans, and miss important events just to snuggle on the couch with you and watch Netflix.
When a guy says he doesn’t want to lose you, he’s also saying that he’ll get the most out of every second that he spends with you. He doesn’t just spend time with you, he spends quality time with you and puts effort into seducing you again.
A guy won’t ignore you if he’s anxious about losing you. He’ll put all his free time into getting you back and making the most of the time he has with you.
He’ll be interested in trying new things, especially if you’re interested in them. You might start a hobby together, go on romantic dates, and/or plan your future together. He’ll sometimes find time to simply be with you and do nothing, and he’ll always have time when you need him to be there.
Again, this somewhat crosses the line into unhealthy behavior, but it’s okay in the short term. Just be sure to remind your boyfriend that he should have a life outside your relationship too.
9. He introduces you to his loved ones or wants to meet yours.
Meeting the family and friends is a huge step, so if you haven’t done it yet, now’s the time. He will introduce you to his loved ones or show interest in meeting yours. When it comes to your family and friends, he will be especially kind to them and care a lot about leaving a good impression.
Most importantly, he will talk proudly about you as his romantic partner and introduce you accordingly. He might not have been willing to put a label on things before, but the prospect of losing you changed all that.
His loved ones are a big part of his life, and he’s willing to let you into his circle, even if he wasn’t before. He is proud of you and proud to be seen with you. More importantly, he is serious about you, otherwise, he wouldn’t do this.
Bringing you along to a family gathering or a party with friends is an important milestone in a relationship. Even if you’ve been through this step before, you’re going to move forward now. For instance, if you’ve only met his friends and some family members, you’ll now meet his parents.
10. He does everything he can to make you happy.
He wants you to be content with him, so he does everything he can think of to please you. He’d literally do anything for you.
He’ll try to make you laugh and put a smile on your face by doing the little things that mean a lot to you. He will also put a lot of effort into making you happy by being more generous with his resources.
All in all, he will want you to feel loved, even if this wasn’t the way things were before. You can take this as a big sign he’s afraid of losing you and will do whatever it takes to ease your concerns about giving things a second chance (or more).
11. He is jealous.
When a man is afraid of losing you, he doesn’t want another man coming along and stealing you away. While excessive jealousy is a problem, a small dose of it is healthy.
If your man is nervous at the thought of you being with someone else, it shows that he doesn’t want to lose you. He doesn’t want to risk the possibility of another person winning your heart.
He will get nervous around other men and make sure that everyone knows you’re with him. He might even be jealous of your exes or your male friends. If he has a real fear of losing you, another person is a threat to your relationship with him. So, he’ll act accordingly.
He shouldn’t invade your privacy, but he might be more interested in knowing where you’ve been and who was there.
To a certain extent, jealousy is entirely normal, and you can even consider it flattering, as long as he’s not making a scene or invading your privacy.
12. He gives you his full attention.
He’ll start paying attention to every word you say, and he’ll be focused on you even when there are other people around. He’ll want you to know that you’re the only one for him and that you are special in his eyes.
He will probably remember the details that you tell him and use them to surprise you with gifts or date ideas. He’ll also initiate more conversations, ask more questions, and do his best to be great company.
He will probably ask you for your advice and opinions, especially when it comes to important decisions. He’ll want you to know that he values you and your thoughts.
13. He supports you.
Your partner will be there for you when you need him. He will drop everything and show up when you’re feeling blue. Maybe he’ll bring you your favorite coffee when he knows you’re having a long day at work.
He will encourage you in other ways too; he’ll believe in you and support your dreams. He’ll be more interested in hearing about your goals and things that you’re passionate about, and he will want to help you achieve those goals so you can live your dream life with him.
Most importantly, you will both change and grow as a couple because you’ll be willing to work on yourselves and your relationship. If you’re a team that supports each other, you can achieve a lot.
14. He’s not mad at you.
He is willing to bury the hatchet if you’ve had a big fight. He’s not contacting you to prolong a fight or to start a new one. He wants to make peace, and he’s not mad at you.
Even if you were the one who made a mistake, and that’s what is behind the problem in your relationship, he will put his ego aside and be willing to forgive you for it.
He’s sorry about fighting with you, and he just wants to make things right again. He will make the first move and get in touch with you to patch things up.
A man who’s afraid of losing you isn’t going to be afraid of admitting that he was wrong or brag about being right. He doesn’t care who wins the fight, as long as it’s over.
15. He’s willing to make compromises.
Reconciling after a big fight usually involves making compromises, and he is perfectly ready for that. He’s now willing to bite his tongue to avoid unnecessary arguments.
He doesn’t care about being right if your relationship survives. You’ll see that he’s always fighting for the relationship, and never against you. This doesn’t mean that he’ll always agree with you, but he is willing to work with you for the sake of your relationship.
16. He shows more interest in your life.
He’ll pay special attention to your likes and interests. He might even consider trying new things just to bond with you and spend quality time together.
He is planning your future together, so he’ll show special interest in your goals and dreams. He’ll want to shape the future according to them to make sure that you are happy.
He’ll ask about your day, he’ll want to know about your friends and family, he’ll want to understand more about your work so that you can talk to him about it.
17. He keeps trying to get in touch with you.
A man will pursue you when he wants you. Mixed signals are no signals.
When a man is afraid of losing you, he’ll reach out often. If you’ve had a fight, he will send a ton of apology messages and do all that it takes to resolve the issue. He’ll want to be your hero and get you to see that you can make it work.
18. He takes you on dates.
Spending all his free time with you will include romantic and fun dates—he wants to chat and reconnect with you.
He will take you somewhere special and will consider your likes and interests when planning dates. He might also arrange dates with you ahead of time as part of his future plans.
For instance, maybe you’ll talk about where to go for Valentine’s Day or where to go on a summer vacation. He will want you to confirm a date a long time from now to ensure that you’ll keep him around.
19. He’s protective of you.
He’ll want you to feel safe with him and secure in your relationship. So, he’ll be protective of you, as if he was your hero. For instance, he’ll offer his jacket when it’s cold and walk you home.
Maybe he’ll want you to dress differently out of jealousy or become extremely worried about you going out alone at night. In some cases, a partner might become overly protective to the point that it’s not healthy.
Being a bit jealous is not the same as being possessive. If he was about to lose you, he might be feeling insecure about it. As a result, he may become overly protective while also making it very obvious to others that you’re a couple.
20. He tells you he loves you more often.
Maybe he never said that he loved you, or he used the L word very rarely before. Either way, he now has no problem saying that he loves you. In fact, he says it frequently.
He will use the L word to make you feel loved and to get you back, even if it was hard for him to do that before. Because, let’s face it, guys aren’t always good at expressing their emotions.
More importantly, he will show you that he loves you, not just tell you that. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions will match his words if he’s really in love with you.
21. He makes sacrifices.
He’ll sacrifice his time, effort, energy, and money to make you happy. Maybe he’ll ditch an important meeting at work or cancel the travel plans that he made with his friends.
If he makes sacrifices for you, he definitely wants you to be happy. In fact, your needs probably come ahead of his own.
While you should feel honored to have him make sacrifices, you shouldn’t allow it to go too far because that might eventually spoil the positive feelings he has for you.
22. He talks about commitment.
Maybe he was afraid of commitment before, but now he talks about getting married or having children. He is ready for the next big step in your relationship. Whether it’s meeting your family or living together, he’s ready for it.
More importantly, he wants you to know that he sees you together for the rest of your lives, whether that means marriage of just a firm commitment to each other. If starting a family with you is part of his plans for the future, he’ll share them with you now.
He will talk about moving in together while discussing other future plans with you. He’s no longer confused about what he wants; you’ll finally be in a serious, long-term relationship.
23. He isn’t prepared to risk it.
When a guy says he doesn’t want to lose you, he isn’t prepared to risk it. He would rather agree with you than let you end the relationship.
More importantly, he is willing to change if that’s what it takes to keep you.
This is a great opportunity to encourage him to try couples counseling as a way of sorting out your problems and getting back on track. Even if he wasn’t willing to work on the relationship in the past, he likely will be now. With the help of the right counselor, you can have the relationship that you want.
For now, reassure your partner that he’s not going to lose you if he’s afraid of it. However, let him know that some changes need to happen for you to have a happy, healthy relationship.
