Do you like a girl but are not sure she even knows you exist?
Or perhaps she knows who you are, but you feel nervous when you flirt with her, if you can even summon the courage to try, that is.
Maybe you are unsure how to take your relationship out of the friendship zone and get her attention for all the right reasons…
There are a lot of ways to woo a girl, but how do you know where to start or what will work for you?
You might feel worried that you’ll embarrass yourself if you say the wrong thing. And it’s normal to feel nervous when you like someone.
But you shouldn’t let nerves or inexperience stop you from going after the girl you want if you really like them.
You’re not going to suddenly become the best at flirting overnight and no one wants to make a fool of themselves when they try.
You might be friends with her already and worry about risking your friendship if you tell her how you really feel and get it wrong.
But you’re never going to know what her reaction will be if you don’t take a chance.
Whatever your situation, keep reading for 14 simple tips to get a girl’s attention.
1. Whatever you do, don’t try too hard and come across as fake or needy.
There’s a fine line between showing a girl you’re into them to get their attention and not coming across as trying too hard.
No one likes a guy who tries too hard, and if this is you, you’ll either move yourself right into the friend zone or turn her off you completely.
You don’t want to risk ‘flirty’ coming across as ‘creepy,’ and to stop this from happening, you need to give the situation space so that genuine feelings can grow.
Don’t put so much pressure on either of you. You want to come across as genuine and let her get to know you for who you are.
The more pressure you put on yourself to grab her attention, the bigger the risk you’ll come across as inauthentic as you try to be someone you’re not just because you think that’s who she wants to see.
Have faith in yourself and don’t try to rush the process. If the opportunity comes up to spend time with her, take it, but don’t try to be anything but who you are to make her fall for you.
2. Show confidence, even if you don’t necessarily feel it.
Confidence is important. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what you do, as long as you have confidence in yourself.
While you should avoid letting your confidence spill over into arrogance, it’s true that most women are attracted to strong men who know their value.
Even if you struggle with low self-confidence, remember that this is the equalizer between you and any other prospects.
Don’t shy away from talking to her or being your natural self. If she doesn’t like you for who you are then she’s not the right girl for you anyway.
Remember that looks aren’t everything, and if you walk into a room knowing your worth and believing that you’re the best man there for her, she’ll find it hard to ignore.
3. Compliment her to get her to notice you.
Always be genuine in your compliments and try to say them when they count the most.
But if the opportunity arises to give the girl a compliment, take it.
No matter what anyone says, everyone likes to hear something nice said about themselves.
You need to make sure your compliments count, so make sure you don’t over-compliment someone to the point that they seem fake.
A well-placed compliment is memorable and meaningful, and taking the chance to give her one will show that you notice her at her best.
If you really want to make your compliment mean something, try making it about something unexpected, like her smile or her eyes, not just that she looks “nice.”
It will matter more if you compliment her for who she is on the inside and not just what she looks like on the outside.
4. Take a keen interest in what she cares about.
It’s nice to feel as though someone sees you for who you are and appreciates what makes you unique.
You can do this for the girl you like by finding some common ground in the interests you have.
Show her that you are a great match for her because you care about her interests, not just what she looks like.
Try to show her that you connect on deeper levels and have something to bond over. After all, successful relationships go beyond surface-level attraction.
So to get her attention, you need to make her want to spend time with you because you have reasons to connect.
Don’t try to force a relationship by trying too hard to find a subject you both have in common. If there isn’t anything you can think of, then at least show her that you’re supportive of the interests she has and ask her about them once in a while.
5. Give her a thoughtful gift.
If you want to do something that will make her remember you and take note, give her a meaningful gift.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or rare, just something that you think would make her happy.
It could be as simple as her favorite chocolate bar she was talking about the day before.
Whatever it is, a small, heartfelt gesture can go a long way to make you memorable to her.
Try to pick something that shows you’ve been listening to her and that you care about what she likes.
Don’t overwhelm her with size or expense or get something for the sake of it, otherwise you could confuse her and make her feel uncomfortable.
Build up your friendship first and then pick your moment to give her something that will make her take notice of you and the thoughtful person you are.
6. Make her laugh, but don’t use self-deprecating humor.
It’s always the funny guy who gets the girls because looks don’t last forever.
Making someone laugh means that they’re comfortable and relaxed around you, and they enjoy your company.
Be the person who brings joy to her day because you make her smile and she’ll soon start noticing how she misses you when you’re not around.
Make sure you’re picking your moment with well-timed comments or jokes and don’t put pressure on the situation to make her laugh over nothing; you don’t want a joke to come across poorly or fall flat.
And don’t make jokes at your own expense. These will likely get her attention in all the wrong ways.
But take your chances and lean into your ability to make her smile as a way to get her attention and keep it.
7. Show that you’re trustworthy.
Trust is one of the main foundations for any relationship, so if you want a girl to notice you for the right reasons, you need to show that she can trust you.
In your early days of flirting, trust is important to have to know that you won’t cheat on her or let her down emotionally.
Creating trust between you can help you become closer, especially if she feels able to share personal information with you. That sort of intimate moment will help you create a bond together that marks you out from everyone else.
Trust naturally grows and it’s not something you can force, but you can start building it by always showing up when you say you will, not leaving her confused or in the dark, keeping your communication strong, and not letting her down for the sake of someone else.
8. Have your own interests, and show passion for them.
Don’t underestimate the attraction of having your own interests.
Even if she doesn’t understand your hobby, having one shows her that you have your own life and won’t be reliant on her or demanding of her.
Showing her that you can balance your own interests as well as spending time with her is a good sign that you won’t stop her from enjoying her own hobbies away from you too.
Being passionate about something shows that you have drive, that you care, that you set goals—all of which are attractive traits in a boyfriend.
9. Listen to her, and make her see that you’re listening.
One of the most attractive qualities in a man is that he listens to a girl when she talks to him.
It sounds so simple, but genuinely listening to someone isn’t as easy as you think.
It’s not just about engaging in a conversation or hearing what she says at the time, you need to show her that you remember the little details because you care about what she has to say.
Take the opportunity to show that you listen to her by coming up with insightful responses or bringing up conversations around some of the comments she may have thought you had forgotten.
Show that it’s not just the big things you take note of, but everything else too.
Let her use her voice and don’t talk over her to try to guess what she has to say, give her the chance to express herself and take note of what’s important to her.
10. Give her space so that she doesn’t feel pressured.
This might sound counterproductive when you like someone and want to get their attention, but giving space can be just as helpful as spending time with the girl you like.
For this to have the right effect, you need to have established some sort of relationship or friendship already, so she at least knows you enough to recognize that you’re not there.
You’ve probably heard the expression “Absence makes the heart grow stronger,” and spending some time away from her can give her a chance to realize how much she misses being around you.
No one likes feeling smothered, and if you’re with her all the time, she might end up taking your presence for granted or even get irritated by you being there constantly.
You don’t want her feelings toward you to turn negative, so be conscious of how much you’re hanging around her.
As much as you might not want to, giving her some space allows her to miss you and realize how much you mean to her. This way, she’ll appreciate the next time she gets to see you all the more.
11. Stand your ground if she tries to bend you to her will.
If she’s a strong character, there’s going to be moments when she tries to test you to see how interested you really are in her.
No matter how much you like her, you shouldn’t set the precedent of being walked over in a relationship.
That’s why, when she teases you or pushes you, you need to stand your ground and stand up for yourself to get her attention in the right way.
Don’t let her bully you into doing something, however harmless it may seem. And don’t just agree with her to make her happy or change your opinions to suit hers.
Women are attracted to strong men, and you need to show her that you have self-respect. If you always give in to everything she wants, then you’re teaching her not to respect you.
If you want to attract her in the right way and for your feelings to turn into a relationship, then show her that there’s a difference between doing something for someone because you care about them and being a pushover.
Make sure you don’t find yourself in a position you’re not happy with because of her, and remember that you need to believe in your own self-worth for her to see it too.
12. Show her your sensitive side.
You might think that girls are always attracted to masculine men, but that’s not 100% true.
Having and showing a sensitive side can be to your advantage, and it’s something you need to show any girl you like to get her attention.
Being vulnerable around a girl at the right moment will make her feel special, as if you have chosen her above everyone else to show that side of yourself.
Taking her into your confidence will create a bond you don’t have with anyone else and start to develop a foundation of trust between you.
Being sensitive will show her that you are able to care about her and about things that are important.
Don’t shut yourself off from anything emotional just because you think that’s what a ‘man’ should do—it’s not attractive to think that someone can’t be empathetic or be in touch with their emotions.
Don’t go overboard and start crying at every movie you watch, but make sure to pick your moments to avoid being the ‘nice guy’ and ending up in the friend zone.
You still need to show her that you can be strong and reliable, but allowing her to see that you have layers to your personality can’t help but get her attention for the right reasons.
13. Be a gentleman.
Being a gentleman doesn’t mean that you have to diminish a girl’s capabilities. It’s about showing that you have manners and want to do nice things for her.
You know that you’re not stuck in the past and that women are just as capable of holding doors open or carrying their bags as men are. But acts of chivalry can feel nice once in a while and grab a girl’s attention for the right reasons.
You can be a feminist and still want to do nice things for someone, so take the opportunity when it comes up to put her first and show her that you care about her comfort and happiness and want to treat her like a queen because that’s how you see her.
14. Learn how to display desirability.
It doesn’t matter about your genetics or if you are the most physically attractive person in the room, if you start acting like you believe in yourself, you’re going to get that girl’s attention.
The most physically attractive man can go unnoticed if he doesn’t dress well or have the inner confidence to believe that he deserves to be seen.
If you want to be noticed for the right reasons, start taking pride in your appearance. Dress and look after yourself as if you are the most attractive person out there.
You deserve to feel good about yourself, and if you do, your inner confidence will shine through, making you hard to ignore. They say dress for success, and it’s no different in this case.
Practice good hygiene, find clothes that suit you, and start investing in yourself.
You don’t have to be the most stylish in the room for this to work—just dress with purpose and put some care into how you come across so that other people can see that you deserve a second look.
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It may take you time to master the art of charm, but for now, building up your confidence and believing in your self-worth will get you further than you think in the dating world.
Believing that you’re worth this girl’s attention is the first step toward getting it. Having that belief will help you start dressing yourself and carrying yourself better. You’ll be able to relax when you’re around her and let your real character show.
Trying to be something you’re not will only get you so far, until you can’t keep up the act any longer. If you’re agitated and uncertain of yourself, then she will sense that energy and start feeling uncomfortable around you too.
It could take some time before you feel truly at ease when you’re spending time around the girl you like, but shifting your attitude to know that you deserve her attention will immediately start making a positive difference to how you feel when you’re together.
Try to watch for signs she likes you back, like if she consciously chooses to spend time with you, asks you more about yourself, or takes you into her confidence.
See if she’s trying to flirt with physical contact, touching your arm or hugging you, or even complimenting you. If she is, then you know that you’re already doing better than you thought and she’s noticing you for all the right reasons.
If she’s the right girl for you, you’ll make it work. Relationships have a habit of working out just how they’re meant to, even if you can’t see how or why at the time.
You’re never going to be better at flirting or get the girl you want if you let fear hold you back. Take chances and trust that if she’s right for you, she’ll see all the amazing qualities you have without you having to be anything or anybody else.
Small gestures can have the biggest impact, and some of the best relationships grow from the foundation of friendship—just have the confidence to make that first move and see what happens.
