The choices we make can determine whether we find ourselves in depressing hellscapes or Edens of abundance and joy.
By choosing to live in alignment with what we truly care about, we can cultivate a life full of joy and wonder rather than one we want to escape.
Not sure where to start?
Here are 10 choices that will help you create the life you’ve always wanted:
1. Choose to surround yourself with people who ‘get’ you.
And we mean the real you.
Few things are as draining or heartbreaking as having to pretend to be something you’re not to make other people happy.
When we can’t be authentic around those closest to us, we’re constantly anxious and hypervigilant—monitoring our words and actions in case we set someone off or let a detail slip that may earn their ire or mockery.
If there are people in your social circle with whom you always have to ‘play pretend’, remove them from your life.
Or, if they’re inextricably linked, distance yourself as best you can and surround yourself with those you can be authentic around.
In other words, find your tribe.
You’ll feel much more comfortable and confident when you’re able to walk around in your own skin, rather than in a costume you can’t stand to wear anymore.
2. Choose to contribute to causes that matter to you.
We all like to be a part of something that’s important to us.
For some, this may be hands-off involvement like financial contributions to charities.
Other people prefer a hands-on approach like volunteer work or creating things to donate to the cause of their choice.
Think about some of the causes that truly matter to you, and Venn diagram them with the skills and contributions you can offer.
That magical overlap zone in the middle will let you know how you can be of service in the most useful way possible.
From there, you can determine how much time and energy you have available to put toward these causes.
Prioritize them, figure out what you’re able to give without depleting yourself, and get to it!
You should feel your happiness bar fill up more quickly than you thought possible.
3. Choose to consume media that uplifts you.
After you’ve watched TV, listened to music, interacted with social media accounts, or read a book, check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling.
Do you feel happy and inspired after this pursuit?
Or depressed and miserable?
The media we consume can have a monumental impact on our well-being, for good or ill. So it’s important to immerse ourselves in subject matter that’s inspiring and uplifting, rather than depressing and disheartening.
There’s a lot of ugliness in the world, but that doesn’t mean we need to wallow in it at all times, nor should we choose to spend our leisure time sinking in doom and gloom.
As important as it is to be aware of the difficult things that are going on around us, it’s just as important to be present and engage ourselves in positive, uplifting subject matter.
We won’t have much impetus to do any good—for ourselves, or others—if we feel despondent and hopeless.
There’s no harm in submerging ourselves in positivity and fantasy if they rekindle our light.
It’s our responsibility to protect ourselves from things that steal our light and spark nothing but despair or hatred in our hearts.
4. Choose to reduce your intake of things that damage you.
In the same way that doom-scrolling media can badly affect your mind and soul, various physical substances can damage your body, and the wrong people’s energy can damage your spirit.
Keep note of everything you ‘take in’ over the day, and how it makes you feel.
Are you eating foods that make you feel energized and satiated? Or do you feel sluggish or nauseated after consuming them?
Similarly, how do you feel after spending time with the people closest to you: uplifted and happy? Or drained and resentful?
If something isn’t nourishing you, it’s poisoning you.
Choose to reduce or cut these things out of your life rather than consuming them on the regular, and you’ll be healthier, happier, and far more fulfilled in the long run.
This doesn’t mean you need to deny yourself, but rather treat yourself with the loving kindness you’d put towards nurturing someone you love.
Feeding your kid fast food and donuts is a fun treat, but doing so every day would make them sick.
The same goes for exposure to overly violent or harrowing media.
Everything in moderation is fine, but remember the level of tolerance that affects you may be different from someone else.
Anything that you feel is damaging to you, is too much.
5. Choose to free yourself from shame about the past.
Life is rarely a ‘win or lose’ scenario.
Instead, we either win, or we learn—usually from our missteps and mistakes.
Some of these lessons come with very few scars or uncomfortable memories, while others spark shame, despair, and regret every time we think about them.
The thing is, wallowing in shame and despair is a great way to open a gateway to other terrible life choices.
If you’re reeling with self-loathing from your past mistakes, you’ll start to feel like you can’t escape those actions so you may as well keep on down the same road.
You may even feel as though you deserve to suffer because of the awful thing you did or said.
The thing to remember is that we are not the sum of our actions, and how we behave in a moment of poor judgment, grief, anger, or despair doesn’t define who we are.
What happened then isn’t happening now, and you’ve learned a valuable lesson from that experience.
It takes immense courage and conviction to choose the correct path; the one of heart that’s true to yourself.
It takes even more courage to break free from other’s perceptions of you based on one misstep.
If you’re in a place where those around you aren’t allowing you to move forward, telling you that you are forever X bad thing because of what occurred in the past, it’s time to start anew somewhere else, with a clean slate and a light heart.
6. Choose to cultivate a grateful mindset.
It’s easy to get depressed or bogged down about the things you don’t have, especially when the people around you seem to have more.
Instead of focusing on everything you don’t have, choose to be immensely grateful and positive about the many blessings you do have in your life.
Are you relatively healthy and physically able? Be grateful for the ability to move around without significant pain.
Do you have a comfortable bed? Changes of clothes? Are you able to eat and drink foods and beverages you like regularly?
If you have all these things, you’re wealthier and better off than billions of other people on the planet.
So many others are food insecure, homeless, living in war-torn regions, or suffering from terrible afflictions.
We’re not suggesting you deny the hard things you experience. Life is tough, and it’s ok to feel that.
But whatever blessings you do have, cultivate immense gratitude for them when you’re able to.
7. Choose to break free from your programming.
Just because you were raised to hold certain perceptions or beliefs, doesn’t mean they’re true, or that you need to cling to them.
Expand your horizons by immersing yourself in unbiased informational sources from across the board, especially if they challenge your previously held stances or make you uncomfortable.
When you break free from the bubble you’ve been trapped inside, you’ll realize that a lot of what you’ve been taught was meant to control you: to form you to fit other people’s ideals rather than to help you create your own identity or make up your own mind.
Programming creates obedient sameness—people who do what they’re told, don’t compete for power, and rarely step into their potential.
Learn as many different subjects as you can, including skills beyond what you’ve been taught in school or by your immediate family.
Travel, and learn from everyone you come across. Take courses on how to set broken bones or cook for a group of 100 hungry people.
The more you know, the more adaptable you’ll be to whatever path you decide to take.
When you find the path that’s right for you, you’ll have an arsenal of knowledge and skills that can be used however you need them.
8. Choose to challenge yourself in ways that mean something to you.
As comfortable as it can be to laze in bed for days, you won’t have a whole lot of positive memories to look back upon after doing so.
In contrast, being challenged in something that captivates you and achieving something awesome can light a fire under you that keeps you moving forward.
Think about how great it felt to succeed at something important to you.
Then determine what you feel is meaningful to you now.
What can you get involved in that sincerely matters to you and pushes you out of your comfort zone at the same time?
Maybe you want to go back to school and earn the degree you always hoped to achieve or train to run a marathon to raise money for a cause that you believe in.
Whatever ‘The Thing’ is, you can do it if you put your heart into it!
9. Choose to live in alignment with your values and beliefs.
When we don’t live in alignment with our core values and beliefs, we feel like we’re betraying ourselves as well as those around us.
Some people have little choice but to shelve their values to do what it takes to survive.
But if you aren’t in that position, or if you can change your circumstances to align with your beliefs, doing so will elevate your life more than you can imagine.
When you live in this kind of alignment, other things fall into place as well.
You’ll find that you connect with other people who feel the same way you do, and thus cultivate a healthy social circle and community.
Most important, however, is the fact that you’ll be able to look in a mirror and be proud of the person you see there, rather than cringing away from your reflection with shame and disappointment.
10. Choose to foster a sense of curiosity about the world.
Many people live with anxiety because they’re uncertain about what’s going to happen next.
Instead of being crippled by uncertainty, aim to cultivate curiosity instead.
This transforms “Oh no, I don’t know what’s going to happen or how I’m going to cope!” into “Wow, I wonder how this is going to unfold!”.
It’s a simple perspective shift that opens up a world of potentiality rather than crushing everything into a pinhole of worry.
The world around us is chock full of wonder and amazement.
Have you ever looked at sand under a microscope? Or watched a meteor shower light up the night sky?
Think of all the foods you’ve tried that were foreign to you once, and how delightful it was to experience something new.
If you’re keen on creating a life you never want to escape, reignite your sense of curiosity and wonder, and discover something new to try every single day.
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Now that you’re aware of these 10 choices to help you create a much happier, more fulfilling life, how are you going to put them into practice?
If you haven’t started yet, change one choice at a time until you’re living a life that you want to explore and celebrate, rather than one you want to escape by any means possible.
