Guys think about sex.
A lot.
So naturally, they also want to talk about it.
This may simply be because they feel comfortable enough to open up about these things.
A guy doesn’t necessarily need to have an ulterior motive to talk to you about sex, especially if you’re friends.
However, this highly depends on the context and your relationship with the guy.
Most of the time, when a guy brings up sex in the conversation, it means one of the 5 things below.
We’ll deal with how to respond to him afterward, too.
What It Means When A Guy Discusses Sex With You
1. He wants a one-night stand.
Is this someone you met in a bar or on a dating app?
Mentioning sex too early after meeting each other shows that the guy has no serious intentions with you.
If he was interested in something more, he would be worried about offending you by bringing up sex too soon.
If he goes straight to the topic of sex, he just wants to see if you’ll play along and agree to sleep with him.
All he wants is a one-night stand.
Even if you’ve known each other for a while, if he starts constantly talking about sex all of a sudden, he probably wants to sleep with you.
When they only have one thing on their mind, it’s all they want to talk about.
Ultimately, if a guy just wants sex, he’ll bring it up soon after meeting you, and it’ll probably be all he talks to you about.
2. He wants your opinion.
What if this is your friend?
He might be trying to gauge whether you would be interested in something more than friendship.
Or he might simply be looking for advice.
Maybe he feels comfortable enough to open up to you, and he builds intimacy with his close friends by talking about sex.
Some people are like that.
So, consider what exactly he talks to you about when he discusses sex.
Is he asking you for an opinion or trying to share experiences?
Does he talk to his other friends about sex too, or is it just you?
If he’s not looking for your opinion or using intimate experiences to bond with you as a friend, he’s probably interested in becoming more than friends, or at least introducing ‘benefits’ into your friendship.
If you’ve been getting mixed signals from this guy, he probably wants to sleep with you, but he might be worried about ruining your friendship.
3. He’s testing the waters.
If this is a guy you’ve been dating, but haven’t slept with yet, he probably wants to know when you’ll be ready.
Testing the waters is the most common reason why guys bring up sex.
He wants to see if you’d be open to the idea of sleeping with him and how you’ll react to sexy talk.
When will you be ready to take things to the next level? Are you already up for it?
A guy wants to know these things and can’t ask you directly, so he talks about sex and watches your reaction.
Some people even talk about sex as a way of flirting. He’s letting you know that he’s interested and ready whenever you are.
Maybe he wants to share experiences or talk about each other’s fantasies.
This is normal, especially if this is someone you know and not someone you just met.
4. He’s horny.
Ultimately, men talk about sex because they are horny, and this reason underpins all the other ones.
Some men will bring up sex in messages early on because they want to see how you handle sexting.
Others will ask you about your fantasies because they want to fulfill them.
Basically, you can pretty much bet that a guy is horny if he talks to you about sex.
Unless this is your close, platonic friend who always seeks your advice about sex, you can bet the guy is thinking about getting sex.
Maybe he doesn’t want sex right away or even with you, but he definitely wants it, and that’s why he brings it up.
5. He’s immature and turns everything into sexual innuendo.
Some guys seem to be horny all the time.
It’s like all they think about is sex, so everything they say is sexual.
You know Todd from the popular TV show Scrubs?
Everyone knows at least one ‘Todd’.
This is a guy who is immature and turns everything into sexual innuendo. He uses phrases like, “If you know what I mean…” or, “That’s what she said.”
Cringe.
He talks about sex all the time because he is immature and is simply a ‘Todd’.
There are a ton of Todds on popular dating apps and you are likely to find one in any workplace.
This is the guy who makes you feel uncomfortable by constantly hinting at something sexual, and he does this with all women.
He’s kind of creepy, but you learn to ignore him and accept that he usually means no harm.
So How Should You Respond?
The way you respond to sexy talk highly depends on your feelings about the topic, and the guy.
Here’s how to respond—depending on how you feel:
1. If you feel uncomfortable.
Set boundaries, especially early in the relationship.
If you feel uncomfortable talking about sex, let him know that you’re not ready for that.
If you are interested in him, reassure him of your interest, but point out that sex talk makes you uncomfortable.
Whether this is someone you’ve been dating, someone you just met, or a friend of yours, he should respect your boundaries.
Speak up about it and calmly explain that you don’t want to engage in such conversations.
If he persists after this, he either doesn’t respect you or is incapable of changing.
Either way, you have your answer about the relationship’s potential.
2. If you just don’t want to talk about it.
It’s perfectly fine if you just don’t want to talk about sex right now, even if you’re otherwise comfortable with the topic.
Let him know about it, set boundaries, and stick to them.
After you’ve told him that you don’t want to talk about sex, see if you can change the topic to something else.
Again, it’s important to emphasize that you are interested in him, if you are.
If you’ll eventually be open to his sexual advances, don’t push him away entirely. But do stick to your boundaries.
If you only want to talk about sex with a person who’s in a committed relationship with you, point that out and see how he responds and behaves going forward.
If you notice a pattern of hot and cold behavior, he’s probably only interested in something casual.
3. If you’re open to the idea of sex.
If you’re ready and willing, engage in his talk about sex!
Maybe this is his way of flirting with you, and you can flirt back by responding with the same level of interest.
Sexting is okay too, as long as you’re comfortable with it. But remember, anything you send in a message can be forwarded to other people, so there needs to be trust there.
When a guy talks to you about sex, you’re the one who decides how to proceed.
There’s nothing wrong with engaging in sex talk if that’s what you want.
If this is your friend, maybe they just want to bond.
If this is a man you’re dating, it might lead to sex.
If it’s a man you just met, be aware that he probably doesn’t want anything serious. If that’s fine with you, flirt back!
But if you want something long-term, it’s better to leave sex talk for once you’re already in a committed relationship, so signals don’t get misread.
——
Ultimately, it’s up to you.
If you’re open to the idea of sex with him, you can go ahead and show it by engaging in the conversation!
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