How do you make someone feel truly loved?
You want to make someone feel loved. You want to make them feel special, appreciated, and wanted. You want to show them how important they are to you. How can you go about it? Well, you just have to…
1. Tell them.
No, seriously, when was the last time you told this person how much you love and care for them? It’s such a nice thing to hear from someone and can instantly make a person feel like they matter. It doesn’t have to be really mushy if you find that sort of thing uncomfortable. It can be as simple as, “I’m really grateful to have you in my life,” or, “You’re such a good friend/mom/boyfriend.”
2. Hug them.
Hugs will never ever go out of fashion. A good hug can tell someone more about how you feel than the great poems of the heart or love songs. When you hug someone—properly hug them for an extended period of time—you share a moment of special connection. It says, “You matter deeply to me and I value you and everything you are as a person.”
3. Compliment them.
You don’t want to go overboard, but giving your loved ones genuine compliments is a great way to make them feel special. It needn’t be every day, but it’s lovely when someone notices you’ve made an effort or had a haircut. Give them that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when someone really pays attention and appreciates something you’ve done. Be sure to keep it real—if someone compliments you too much, it starts to feel like they don’t really mean it.
4. Show it through your gestures.
Simple gestures can go a long way to show someone how important they are to you. Thoughtful gifts are a fantastic way to make someone feel special, but you don’t need to break the bank. Or make something by hand—treat your loved one to a handmade card, home-baked cookies, or a scarf you knitted for them. Knowing that you put your own heart and soul into a gift for them will let that special someone know just how much you love and value them.
5. Put in the hours.
Take the time to appreciate those around you. This might be physically meeting up with them. It might be calling your parents every week. It might mean being patient when a loved one is going through a hard time—even if this means sitting with them and letting them say the same thing over and over. Make sure the people who matter know that they are a priority to you.
6. Lend an ear and listen.
Sometimes just listening is enough. If someone you love is going through a hard time, try to just be there for them. Call them and tell them that you’re free to listen if they want to cry or rant. Visit them regularly if they live nearby and let them pour out all their worries to you. If they’re not going through a hard time, listen anyway! It’s a great way to show you care.
7. Show an interest.
Someone actively taking an interest in what you’re up to makes you feel really special, and having someone to share your news with always makes you feel loved and cared for. Ask about their latest hobby, or a club they’ve joined, or about their job. Ask about the ‘bad’ stuff too—they’ll need someone to talk to about it, and it’s a way of showing that you’re there for them.
8. Follow up.
The small things make a huge difference, so start taking note of what’s coming up in your loved ones’ lives. Set a reminder in your calendar for the day before your friend’s first day at their new job—knowing that you care enough to remember and then text them to wish them good luck will make them feel valued. Sending a message after meeting up with a loved one is another really lovely way to show how much you care.
9. Believe in them.
It can be hard to believe in yourself. Many people don’t. So, to have someone show or express their belief in you can do wonders for a person’s confidence. By making it clear that you believe in someone, you give them reason to believe in themselves, and this can make them feel really special. Be their cheerleader and help them feel capable and worthy.
10. Support their goals and dreams.
When someone you love has dreams or aspirations, be their number one supporter and encourage them to push beyond their comfort zones to achieve the things they want in life. For instance, perhaps you give your friend or partner a little nudge when they keep saying how they want to quit their job to start their own business. Give them some reassurance that it’s a good decision and that it’s a risk they’d regret not taking.
11. Celebrate their successes.
It’s great to achieve something you wanted to achieve. It’s even better to have someone there to celebrate with when you finally do that thing. You can be that person. You can be happy for their happiness and rejoice with them in their success. Moments of success usually come after a period of prolonged effort, and you can make them feel good about themselves by recognizing how hard they have worked to get where they are now.
12. Open up to them.
People don’t open up to just anyone. They open up to those they trust and are close to. So, by letting someone in, by showing them your authentic and vulnerable side, you communicate your trust and closeness to that person. You are saying to them that you and they have a deep and valuable connection that goes beyond mere acquaintances. Share your feelings, your fears, your dreams, your memories, and even your secrets (if you choose to).
13. Ask them for their help/opinions.
People like to feel useful. It’s natural to want to help other people because it provides meaning and it fosters connection. So, if you want to make someone feel important, lean on them when you need help or advice. Ask them their opinions on something. Ask them to show you how to do something that you don’t know how to do. Ask them to take on some responsibilities when you have too much on your plate.
14. Thank them.
Whenever someone helps you in even the smallest way, be purposeful with your thanks. Don’t just throw them a simple “thanks,” when you could make it clear that what they have done for you was of real help. For little things, extend your thanks by expressing how much you appreciate it. For bigger things, send them a card, buy them a gift, and be there to repay the favor when they need your help.
15. Go all out once in a while.
When there is someone truly special in your life—whether that’s a partner, friend, or family member, do something big to communicate just how important they are to you. Whisk them away for the weekend, take them out for a nice dinner (or cook them a candlelit dinner at home), or surprise them with a treat or experience that you know they’d just love. And don’t reserve these things for big occasions either.
16. Let them take care of you when you can’t look after yourself.
There’s something to be said for trusting someone to look after you when you are so unwell that you can’t even do the basics for yourself. And as much as it might be challenging for the other person, they will undoubtedly feel like an important part of your life if it is they you call upon when faced with genuine struggles. They may even resent you if you turn to someone else instead of them.
17. Trust them with the truth.
If you choose to be completely honest with someone and trust them with the truth (even if that truth is an opinion), it shows them that you value them enough and care about them enough to risk tension or conflict. Because sometimes the truth is not all that pleasant to hear, especially from someone we care about. That’s a level of trust and honesty that you don’t reach with everyone in your life; just the chosen few.
18. Get to know their love language.
What makes you feel loved might not have the same effect on someone else. And something that makes them feel important might mean little to you. This relates to the concept of love languages which was coined by Dr. Gary Chapman. He suggests that people feel love and express love in five ways: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. And that to make someone feel loved, you need to be able to express yourself in the language they best understand.
19. Be consistent.
Anyone can make an effort for a few days or a couple of weeks. Truly loving someone means being consistent, so try to keep your friendship or relationship as stable as possible. Being a good friend or partner isn’t just about listening, although that is important—it’s about being reliable. So, show someone you love them by being a strong presence in their life. Knowing that they can turn to you at literally any point will make them feel cherished and appreciated.
