Even when singledom is a choice, it comes with challenges.
Being single can get difficult sometimes – even when it’s by choice. You may not want a relationship right now, or ever, but that’s not to say that you can’t see the benefits you might be missing out on by not being in a relationship.
That’s not to mention the specific challenges of being single for a long time:
1. You feel lonely.
One of the biggest problems that comes with being single is the feeling of loneliness. When you’re keeping yourself busy or spending time with your loved ones, you don’t think about it so much. But, when you’re alone with nothing to do and no one to talk to, it can get lonely.
Some people actually enjoy being alone, so this is something that you can learn. You don’t have to be lonely; you can enjoy and even prefer your own company.
Make being alone a choice that you’re making, not something you’re forced to take. After all, it is that way.
You could always get into a relationship with a random person just for the sake of being in a relationship. But you’re not going to do that because you don’t want to settle. You should be proud of yourself because of that.
2. You feel pressured.
The social pressure can be intolerable. Your family might expect you to get married and have kids at a certain age. Your parents might care so much about getting grandkids that they don’t care who you pair off with. They just want you to get married as soon as possible.
This is bad even if you don’t want to get married, but if you do, it just adds to the pressure you might have already experienced.
You could get tired of being asked whether you’re seeing anyone serious and explaining that you’re single. Your family and friends might constantly try to hook you up with someone. They could make you feel like your time is running out.
Try explaining to them that you’re single by choice and you have plenty of time to find the right person. Even if they don’t understand, try not to let it get to you.
3. Your friends get into relationships.
No one has to directly pressure you for you to feel pressured. If your friends are all getting married and having kids, you might feel pressured to do the same.
In addition, you might lose them as friends because you’re leading very different lives. While all they talk about are their partners and kids, you just want to relax and drink with them like you used to.
Being single comes with many challenges, and this might be one of the hardest to take.
You don’t want to lose your friends, but they’re not on the same page as you anymore. They might not have enough time for you which only contributes to your loneliness.
However, don’t forget that you can always find new friends who make the best out of being single just like you do. Go out there and meet new people even if you still get along with your old friends. One of those single people might even turn out to be more than a friend.
4. You want kids.
You need a long-term relationship in order to have kids. While this is not entirely true since there are other options, having two parents is better for the child and easier for you.
So, if you want to have kids soon, it’s another pressure that you need to cope with while being single.
It’s not just about finding a partner; you need to know that they’ll be there in the long run. So, you need to spend a lot of time with someone who might not turn out to be the best fit for you in the end. This can be devastating when you’re looking to become a parent.
Don’t forget that there are other options. You can be a single parent in a few different ways, it’s just harder than if you had a partner.
5. You feel like something is missing from your life.
Maybe you lead a fulfilling life, but you feel that there’s something missing. There’s an empty spot in your love life, and you don’t have someone to fill it.
This can be difficult to handle especially if all your friends are in relationships. However, keep in mind that your love life won’t always have that empty space. Unless, of course, you wish to be single by choice for your entire life – which is absolutely okay too.
But if you are just temporarily single by choice, you’ll eventually find the right person for you. You just have to be patient and do the best you can with the time that you’ll spend searching for them and enjoying your freedom.
Don’t forget that you’re allowed to date and flirt with whoever you want. So, your love life might actually be more fulfilling than that of the people who are in committed relationships. Don’t settle, but feel free to explore your options and see what’s out there.
6. You don’t have the intimacy that comes with a romantic relationship.
This can be a difficult challenge to handle. Single people lack the intimacy that comes from being in a romantic relationship. Yes, they can have casual relationships if that’s what they want. But, it’s not the same level of intimacy that you can have with someone with whom you have a deep connection.
After all, intimacy is not just about the physical act. Kisses, hugs, and gentle touches are just as important when it comes to physical intimacy. There’s also emotional intimacy, which single people tend to miss a lot.
If you want to have these things one day, you can. And you can always have something more casual while you’re single if that works for you and satisfies your needs for now.
People in relationships often miss sleeping with more than one person just as much as you miss the intimacy that they have.
7. You don’t have someone special to share things with.
Sometimes, you just need a shoulder to cry on and a person you can confide in. Other times, you need someone who can celebrate your accomplishments with you.
You want to have someone that you can share things with – the good and the bad. You want the emotional support that you can’t get from your friends and family. Most of all, you want a partner so that you could share your experiences with them.
You want them to ask you about your day and listen to the ups and downs of your everyday life. This can be a big challenge when you’re single. However, try to find what you need in your friends and family for now and be patient.
Eventually, you’ll share your life with someone – if you so choose. And, if it goes according to plan, you’ll share your life with them for as long as you live. So, enjoy this alone time that you have now.
8. You feel socially isolated.
Not all singles go out and party every weekend. Some prefer to stay in most of the time. They prefer their alone time, but it can make them feel socially isolated.
If you feel this way, try going out instead. You don’t have to drink and party. Simply being around other people will be good for you. Try out some new hobbies too – you’ll learn something new and meet new people, and that’s always a good thing.
Whatever you do, make sure that you’re surrounded by people every now and then. If you don’t, you might start feeling socially isolated which can be hard to cope with.
But you are not alone just because you’re single, there’s plenty of people around wherever you look. You just need to interact with them.
9. You think life would be easier if you had a partner.
Life can be easier when there’s someone there to share it with. But, don’t forget that it needs to be the right person. You need someone with whom you can work as a team.
It’s true that a good partner can make your life easier in some ways (though be under no illusions that relationships are all rainbows and sunshine because they are hard in their own way).
It’s also true that the wrong person will make your life far harder and more stressful.
And it takes a lot of time and effort to find the right person. So, try to be patient and don’t settle for someone who’ll end up making things harder for you instead of easier.
10. You deal with the stress of being single.
Relationships can be stressful, but so can being single. You have a lot to deal with, and you deal with it all on your own.
You don’t have to deal with it on your own though. There are people you can talk to who won’t pressure or judge you. They’ve been trained to help people who are struggling with the kind of challenges that are listed in this article.
Talk to a therapist when you find it hard to deal with the stress of being single. They’ll understand you and help you be patient enough to find the right person for you – if that’s ever something you think you want.
Stay single until you do. Remind yourself of all the perks that come with not being in a relationship at the moment.
And if you want to stay single for life, embrace the perks, find ways to cope with the challenges, and remind yourself that your choice is yours alone and you don’t need to explain it to anyone.
