You Deserve Respect.
We all want to be respected by people in our lives, whether they’re our friend, our boss, or someone we’re dating. If you’re looking for ways to make a man respect you, look no further. This article explains how to earn and maintain a man’s respect, whatever role they play in your life.
1. Understand Where His Lack Of Respect Comes From
There are lots of reasons why men find it difficult to respect women, even if this is an unconscious decision. There’s still a stigma around women not being as capable as men – not as intelligent or determined, and less worthy of success. This comes from a long history of inequality and, while it’s improving, there’s still a long way to go. It’s important to remember that a man’s lack of respect for women isn’t always fully intentional. That’s not to say that it’s not offensive and upsetting, but that it’s good to be aware that some of it is not as deliberate as we may think. For some men, it’s simply a case of what they know.
Does that make it right? No, but it does mean that there’s a valid explanation behind it. Your boss may have never had a female member on the board before, so may be struggling to respect you as he normally sees women as secretaries. Yep, it’s frustrating, but at least things are moving forwards and you can find ways to understand people’s behaviors.
If your partner isn’t showing you respect and has stereotypical expectations of you, it may be due to his upbringing. Some men have only ever experienced women as homemakers – maybe his mother stayed home and did the cooking and cleaning while his father was the breadwinner. The lack of respect you feel may come from this deep-rooted understanding of gender roles. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible for him to change; it just means that you’ll need to tailor your responses and behaviors in accordance with that.
2. Show Him Your Smarts
It’s hard to stop thinking about stereotypes when you’re faced with a man who refuses to respect you! By taking a step back and thinking more logically, however, you’ll find ways to earn respect that work for you. Prove your intelligence (not that you should have to!) by having opinions and not being afraid to back them up. Go out of your way to share your views – without being condescending or a know-it-all – and the men around you will quickly realize you’re not afraid of speaking up. Some men think that women are inferior because they’re not as smart, so use your frustration at that to power you through. Speak up in meetings or express an opinion on where to go on your dinner date. They’re small things, but they’re a start. You’re showing that you’re not a doormat and that you can stand up for yourself. Some men may be intimidated by your intelligence or ability to speak for yourself – move on from these! The men who are worth your time will recognize your strength and appreciate it.
3. Take Control
Some men still think that women aren’t as capable as they are, whether that’s doing DIY, driving, or playing sports. Rather than waiting around and watching men judge you, be proactive and decide to show them just how capable you are. They can’t question your ability if you prove it to them first! Don’t be afraid to take charge. Rather than waiting for your boyfriend to change the light bulb, do it yourself. Sure, it’s a small thing and it shouldn’t matter that you can do it, but some men need a reminder that you’re a strong, capable individual every so often! You can get to work on DIY around the house, too. If you’re not 100% sure, check out some YouTube videos or find instructions online first. Your partner will be impressed with your knowledge and skills.
4. Respect Yourself First
Respect is mutual. That doesn’t just mean that you and the other person have to respect each other, it means that you need to project it to receive it. The more you respect yourself, the more other people will realize that you’re deserving of their respect too. Imagine the scene – you see someone walk into the room. They look very timid and unsure of themselves. Your initial reaction may not be overwhelmingly positive. That may seem harsh, but we have gut feelings for a reason! Now imagine that someone walks in, carrying themselves well and acting comfortable; commanding the room, in a sense. You’ll instantly believe that they’re confident and self-respecting, ‘worthy’ of your attention, if you like. The way that we carry ourselves and present ourselves says so much about how we feel about ourselves. Whether you’re trying to gain respect from your boss or a first date, bear this in mind. If you can show this respect for yourself and your actions, you’ll project the right kind of vibe!
5. Respect In The Workplace
Work relationships can be a struggle, whoever’s involved. There are often power dynamics or office politics that you unofficially have to adhere to, which can make things quite tricky. When it comes to your career, it’s important to feel respected and comfortable. If you’re working with a male colleague or boss, professionalism goes a long way. No matter how casual or informal your work environment is, it pays (literally) to be well-behaved and well-mannered. You’ll quickly gain respect from your male peers if you can hold your own in a conversation and maintain an air of professionalism. Joking is always great, but be careful not to overstep any boundaries.
6. Respect From Friends
Friendships are different to work relationships, so your behavior toward any close male friends will always be different to that in the workplace. Friends should make you feel secure and confident, and your friendships should feel beneficial and healthy – for the majority of the time, at least. Gaining respect from a man involves the same level of strength and independence. Again, have an opinion! If you don’t want to see the movie they suggest, tell them. They might be a bit taken aback at first if you don’t normally express yourself that much, but they’ll get used to it. By doing these small things, you’re rebuilding the way your male friends see you. Take control by standing up for yourself and sticking to your guns. Your friends will realize that you’re not easy to walk all over and will respect you for your confidence.
7. Respect In Relationships
If you’re in a relationship and you feel like your partner doesn’t respect you, something needs to change. It’s important to realize if you are being disrespected and need to leave the relationship, or if this is something you think can change without affecting your well-being in the meantime. When it comes to commanding respect in a relationship, you can pretty much follow the same rules as with other interactions. Project what you want to receive and don’t be scared of open and honest communication. If it’s a new relationship, you both may just be finding the boundaries and comfort levels of each other. If you’ve been together a while, the levels of disrespect you feel may have become a habit over time. Either way, you can do your best to take control of the situation.
Start with an honest conversation about how you’re feeling. This is much easier to do with a partner than with your boss, for example, as you should be feeling safe and loved in your relationship. It’s okay to be vulnerable with those you trust. Talk about how you feel, how you want to feel, and what you think you can both do to get there.
8. Respect Him
We all know the saying, “treat others as you’d wish to be treated,” and this is so true when it comes to respect. As with anyone, if you want to be respected, you have to make that a mutual experience. Show respect to the other person by taking time to listen to what they say, maintaining eye contact, and generally having some time for them and their opinions. By showing the other person respect, you’re making it clear what your own expectations are. We’re all constantly learning, so you can feel free to throw him some social cues and get him started in the right direction! Some men need reassurance that you care about them or are interested in them. We’re not suggesting you drop everything, but make you sure your partner knows that they’re a priority in your life. Tell him how great he is, support his pursuits, and be his biggest cheerleader. It may not make much sense to you, but men’s ego needs a bit of a stroke every so often, so don’t be afraid to play up to that. Let your partner know you love spending time with him, let your boss know he’s important by making him coffee. It’s old-fashioned and dated, but it’ll definitely get you off on the right foot!
9. Learn How To Handle Him
It’s important to stand up for yourself when it comes to getting respect from others. Show that you’re not afraid to have an opinion, and that you’re confident enough in yourself to back that up. Don’t get cocky, as this can lead to a lot of power issues and resentment. Instead, be sure in your decisions and you’ll gain a lot of respect for that alone. Men like being challenged when they realize that it’s going to be mutually beneficial. If you’re going to make him look silly or incompetent in front of colleagues, it’s never going to end well. Find ways to make your point without embarrassing him. Make it sound like you’re on the same team – you appreciate his opinion, but you think that your own approach may work better ‘for everyone involved. If you can sell your opinion as a solution to a big problem, and if you let him take some credit for it, he’ll soon start to show you more respect.
Of course, while it’s important to be assertive and confident, respect is also about meeting the other person’s needs. Sometimes that means taking a step back and going for a softly-softly approach. This doesn’t need to mean pandering to his ego; it just means that you go with what is best for him. Some men need to be dealt with differently, so that may mean playing up your feminine side and asking him for his help. Let him know you value what he has to say and that you need him to advise you on your latest project. All men like feeling needed and important, so play on that by coming to him for help every so often. You’ll gain a lot of respect through your versatility. If you’re flexible with your approaches and resolutions, he’ll really start to respect you. Try a few different things to find what works best for each person you’re dealing with. When it comes to resolving conflicts, you’ll need to be open-minded and willing to accept their viewpoints – just as you would with anyone, really!
10. Learn How To Handle Yourself
Learning how to handle yourself is one of the best ways to get respect from a man. Again, it’s an old stereotype, but it’s there for a reason – men think women are overly-emotional. If a man gets annoyed in a meeting, he’s passionate and driven in his career. If a woman does the same, she’s hysterical and unstable. This is such an unfair way to divide genders, but it happens all the time. Be ahead of the game by managing your emotions and not giving any men a reason to see you as a ‘typical emotional woman.’ That means staying focused and being professional in the workplace. No crying, no talking about your feelings. Keep that kind of thing for wine night with the girls and focus on being as professional as you can.
It’s the same in your relationships – don’t give your partner any reason to think you’re irrationally jealous, or any of the other personality traits women get tainted with! Stay calm, show respect for yourself by getting on with things, and you’ll soon be revelling in respect. Own any mistakes you make. This will help men respect you more as they’ll see that you’re not afraid to take responsibility. Stay accountable and men will realize that you’re not scared of what they may think. They’ll respect your honesty and integrity and will actually end up trusting you even more than they did before you made the mistake – and trust is so important when it comes to respect.
11. Be Positive
It may feel impossible at times, but change will happen if you pursue it. Project what you want to experience and do your best to stay positive and keen an open mind. If things are getting too much and you’re really struggling with the relationship, be it professional or romantic, you may need to consider making a bigger change yourself. At the end of the day, we all deserve to be, and feel, respected. If the man in question is not capable or willing to fulfil that need, we’d suggest you cut ties and do your best to move on. Other than that, stay positive and keep pushing for what you know you deserve. Some people genuinely just need to be told how to behave, so remember that honesty is key!
