Do you think your partner is passive?
Everything in life aims for balance, and as women get more assertive and empowered, men seem to be getting more passive.
This is not to say that passive men never existed before or that it’s women’s fault that many men today are passive.
However, it’s noticeable that a lot more men have become passive—alpha males almost seem to be going extinct.
We’re not wishing to label passive as ‘bad’ or anything of the sort, but if you spot these signs in your partner, he is likely to be a passive man.
1. He’s a follower, not a leader.
Not everyone is a born leader; some people are meant to follow, not lead. You’ll never see a passive man leading a group of people, taking charge, or planning the day. He would rather leave the decision-making to someone else, and he doesn’t mind not being the alpha male.
He either doesn’t think that his input matters or he doesn’t care much about the outcome, so he will gladly follow the opinions of those who are willing to take charge.
2. He has self-esteem issues.
A passive man doesn’t think he’s worthy of anything great. He has self-esteem issues and doesn’t think highly of himself.
When people don’t treat him right, he isn’t surprised. After all, he doesn’t deserve anything better—or at least that’s what he makes himself think. He doesn’t think that he’s special in any way and finds it hard to love himself. This can make it difficult for anyone else to love him too.
3. He is too selfless.
Some people are selfish and egotistical. A passive man is exactly the opposite of this. He will never put himself first and will gladly make anyone else a priority instead of himself.
Being selfless is usually a positive trait, but when it reaches the point that a man would gladly be the victim and sacrifice himself for the sake of anyone or anything else, that’s not healthy.
4. He doesn’t trust his own words.
Passive men have trouble communicating since they don’t trust that their words are worth saying. They don’t think that they’re right about anything; they’d rather stay quiet or ask you for your opinion.
This often comes from the previously mentioned lack of self-esteem and lack of confidence. Obviously, a person who isn’t a leader isn’t that great at motivating others to do something. Instead, he’ll ask you what you think.
5. He doesn’t value his own opinions.
When someone is passive, they don’t think anyone would be interested in what they have to say, so they don’t voice their opinions.
People rarely take a passive man seriously since he often emphasizes that he might be wrong before voicing his opinion, no matter how well he is informed about the topic in question.
Again, due to low self-esteem, he thinks that no one cares what he thinks and finds it hard to value his own thoughts on any subject.
6. He needs approval from others before taking action.
Since passive people usually think they’re wrong, they’ll need approval from others before taking action. After all, what if it’s the wrong action to take?
A passive man will always look for a leader to follow. Some women would relish the thought of being in charge, but others may not like being placed in such a position of responsibility.
This is especially true if she’s not that into taking charge either. However, a passive man will always look for approval before deciding anything, be it a big or small decision or action.
7. He talks about what others say and mirrors them.
Since he isn’t confident and doesn’t trust his own opinions, a passive man will usually just say the things that others have told him. After all, they know better, right? That’s how this type of man thinks, and it can be a big problem in a relationship because it prevents you from really getting to know him.
Since he talks about other people’s opinions instead of his own, you’re learning about people he knows rather than getting to know him. In his attempt to follow their lead, he might even mirror their behavior in the hopes of becoming better.
8. He doesn’t stand up (or speak up) for himself.
When confronted, a passive man withdraws. Even when there’s no confrontation, he is not going to stand up for himself and defend his views.
He’s not going to complain or even say a word if he’s being treated poorly. He might even agree with the person mocking him because he thinks so little of himself.
9. He’s afraid of stepping out of his comfort zone.
New experiences scare him, and he would rather stay comfortably tucked in his comfort zone than pursue excitement.
He is not adventurous and spontaneous and would much rather just leave things up to fate and go with the flow. He’s not looking for a rush of adrenaline.
10. He needs a quiet, calm life.
A passive man isn’t the kind of man who takes risks, and ambition doesn’t interest him. He would rather take the easy way out and live a simple, calm, and quiet life somewhere away from all the racket that a modern world can bring.
He’s probably not the kind that would enjoy traveling a lot or living in a big city and might even enjoy spending his entire life in his parents’ house because it’s safe, cozy, and familiar. In addition, with the family being there, he doesn’t have to decide anything or take charge in any way. They’ll do it for him, and he prefers it that way.
11. He’s a quitter.
This type of man sees no point in trying hard for something. He believes that luck and fate will take care of things, so what’s the point of trying?
Even if he dares to try something, he is likely to quit when the first obstacle occurs. It just wasn’t meant to be! That’s all that he’ll conclude from it and give up on the whole thing. Obviously, this is a big problem when dating.
12. He can’t say “no.”
A passive man is a yes man. He will agree to anything if it makes others happy, even if it has a negative effect on him. He would rather sacrifice himself for the sake of others than say “no” to something that was asked of him.
He makes other people a priority and couldn’t care less about his own happiness. So, he’ll agree to anything you ask of him, even if he doesn’t really want to do it.
13. He’s afraid of confrontation.
Confronting someone would require him to voice his opinions and stand up for himself, and we already learned that he can’t do that. So, he avoids confrontation.
He would much rather just go with the flow and say “yes” to things he’s not interested in than disagree with anyone.
He’s scared of arguments, so he will withdraw when you have problems in your relationships or just nod along to anything you’re saying.
Even if he knows that he’s right, he’ll agree with you to avoid getting into an argument. To him, exchanging opinions isn’t worth the struggle and this makes it difficult to resolve conflicts in a relationship.
“What do you think?” is a question that you’ll often hear from him even if you’re asking him about what HE thinks.
14. He hesitates to commit.
Committing requires a person to take charge, and a man that can’t take charge will wait for you to get him to commit to a relationship. You’ll have to make all the moves in terms of having the conversation about becoming exclusive. You’ll have to be the one driving decisions such as when to move in together. You may even need to propose to him, if things ever get that far.
15. He leaves decision-making to others.
What if he makes the wrong decision? He is not ready to take that risk. So, when offered a choice, he will let someone else decide and follow their lead. This can be difficult in a relationship if you don’t enjoy being the leader that he can blindly follow when he feels like it.
When he communicates, he will beat around the bush and talk quietly—discussing big decisions is too much for him. He’ll just let you make the choice for him or go back to his comfort zone.
16. He waits for things to happen on their own and goes with the flow.
If there is no leader in a situation, a follower will wait for things to happen on their own and go with the flow. Taking charge doesn’t come easy to everyone, and when no one takes charge, passive men just do whatever feels natural at the moment or mirror what other people are doing.
17. He believes in fate and luck instead of taking charge and action.
When there’s no one to decide what to do, let fate and luck decide it! Passive men usually believe in fate and luck and leave things up to them. If it’s meant to be, it will happen on its own, and if it doesn’t, well, it either wasn’t meant to be or it’s bad luck. Trying to influence their destiny by taking charge and action seems pointless to them.
18. He lets his partner dictate the dynamic of the relationship.
A relationship with a passive man will be the way you want it to be. While this might sound like a good thing, it’s usually not that great, unless you’re an alpha female that’s perfectly fine with leading a passive male. The point is, whether you like it or not, you will dictate the dynamic of the relationship.
19. He is afraid of being put on the spot.
Don’t put a passive man on the spot, especially not in front of other people. They hate this and will run back into their comfort zone as soon as the opportunity occurs.
20. He holds it all in.
These men usually bottle it all up and find it hard to express their feelings. Maybe they assume that no one cares about how they feel, or they simply don’t know how to vocalize their emotions.
Either way, they’ll keep their feelings inside and rarely express themselves in any way.
21. He is too open to criticism.
Being open to criticism sounds like a good thing, but being too open to it leads to being humiliated and even abused.
A passive man won’t mind being constantly criticized, and he might end up with a toxic girlfriend because of it. The criticism won’t help him improve, but he will gladly nod along to everything pointed out to him.
22. He doesn’t initiate things.
If you’re dating a passive person, you must accept that you’ll need to initiate everything. They’re not going to text you first, ask you out on a date, or even initiate intimacy. They’ll just leave it all up to you, and you might even have to put some effort into getting them to follow your lead.
