It’s not always about desire.
Men do tend to have a higher need and want for physical intimacy in general, but why? You may be surprised to hear it’s more complicated than just having more desire or a higher drive for it. Here are all the reasons why many men usually want it more often than women.
1. Having a connection.
Your partner wants to feel a connection with you and uses physical intimacy to achieve that. While this is one way of feeling like you’re bonding, there are certainly many other ways that can achieve the same effect. So, try communicating better and explaining how you could bond and feel connected without having physical intimacy.
2. Ego boost.
A man’s confidence and self-worth could depend on his intimate life. He needs to please you intimately in order to feel good about himself. Compliment his bedroom skills but let him know that he shouldn’t rely on that for a sense of self-worth and that there’s much more than physical intimacy that he has to offer.
3. Love language
There are five love languages: physical touch, gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and quality time. For many men, physical touch is the main love language that they understand and use to express and receive love. What is your love language? You should let your partner know about it and expand how you communicate through physical touch by touching without having physical intimacy.
4. Unfamiliar with other ways of expressing physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy is just one of the ways you can express love through physical touch. Don’t underestimate the power of hugging, kissing, making out, holding hands, cuddling, and using other ways of experiencing and building intimacy. Use these ways more often without expecting those touches to lead to physical intimacy.
5. Feeling needed.
Why do you need a man? Physical intimacy is one of the reasons, but remind your man of all the others. If he wants physical intimacy just to feel needed, make him feel that way by asking for his help and opinion more often. Include him in making big decisions, and remind him that you need him by telling him that.
6. Feeling wanted.
You could also tell him that you want him, but he needs to feel wanted, not just hear about it. Remind him that he looks great, give him compliments, and talk about how attracted you are to him. Encourage him to work on self-improvement if it will help him feel good in his own skin. Most importantly, explain that not wanting physical intimacy all the time isn’t the same as not wanting him. You can want him when you’re not having physical intimacy too.
7. You don’t initiate intimacy.
If you aren’t one to initiate physical intimacy, your man might feel like he needs to do it. Since he does it all the time, you don’t even get a chance to initiate it yourself. Let him know when you’re in the mood and help him learn that he can enjoy intimacy without expecting it to lead to physical intimacy.
8. Stress relief.
Physical intimacy leads to stress relief, and for some men, it’s as simple as that. They know that it feels good and that’s a good enough reason to constantly want to feel that way. If your husband wants stress relief, he should learn to find it outside of the bedroom (by playing sports, exercising, etc.). You could also give him a massage without it leading to physical intimacy.
9. Higher desire for physical intimacy.
Ok, this one isn’t so surprising as men generally do have a higher need and desire for physical intimacy, and it’s very possible that your partner’s desire doesn’t match yours. You want physical intimacy less often, while he’s up for it all the time. If this is because of a higher intimacy drive, you should try finding a compromise and meet halfway while also expressing physical affection in other ways besides physical intimacy.
