Discover why you feel the need to be right.
Do you like to be right? Most people do. But if you are too pig-headed to concede even an inch of ground, you’ve strayed too far from confidence into arrogance and stubbornness.
The need to always be right can be rooted in several different things. Here are some of the most common.
1. You feel insecure in yourself.
Are you concerned with how others will perceive you if you are wrong or if you admit to having flaws?
Would you feel that you are not meeting the expectations of others if you aren’t always perfect?
That type of insecurity is often ingrained in a person as a child through dysfunctional or abusive family dynamics.
Your need to be right may be a defense mechanism that helped you survive whatever it is you experienced.
2. You’re terrified of failure.
The consequences of being wrong amount to failure in your mind and so you are willing to do or say anything that refutes your error or wrongdoing.
You cannot admit to being wrong because you think other people will see you as less than, unworthy of respect, a waste of space. You will do anything to avoid the criticism or judgment of others.
This is another consequence of insecurity, although it can also be related to mental health conditions, personality disorders, or neurodivergence.
3. You have an inflated ego.
If you have high self-esteem and are very confident in yourself and your knowledge, you may insist on being right even when there is evidence to prove otherwise.
You overestimate your expertise and abilities—perhaps based on previous successes or accomplishments—and you struggle to accept the possibility that you could be wrong about something you feel you have a strong grasp of.
4. You have a fragile ego.
You may feel so unsure of yourself and your abilities that you feel a constant need to prove yourself to others.
You may insist that you are right about something because you feel less intelligent or less well educated than others.
And you struggle to back down once you have made your position clear because doing so would be a hammer blow to your ego and self-worth.
5. You are highly intelligent but lack social intelligence.
You may exhibit intellectual elitism and enjoy demonstrating how superior your knowledge is by pointing out when others are wrong.
You may not “need” to be right all the time for any good reason other than because you often are (in a factual sense).
You simply don’t have the social awareness to realize that correcting people is extremely irritating and often unnecessary.
Or, you see yourself as better than others and enjoy demonstrating your superior grasp of facts and information.
6. You have strong cognitive biases.
Cognitive biases affect how a person perceives information and makes decisions—and everyone experiences them.
Confirmation bias is a particularly common and relevant bias here. It means you favor information that confirms your existing beliefs while ignoring or refuting other information.
If you are prone to this sort of thinking, you will find it difficult to consider alternative perspectives which means you’ll believe you are correct and that others are misinformed.
7. You like to feel in control.
Do you equate being right with being in control of a conversation or situation?
If you hate feeling out of control, you might insist that you are right even when you are wrong because it helps you feel as though you have the upper hand.
To admit to being wrong leaves you feeling uncertain about what might happen next.
8. Your social identity requires you to be right.
Do you tie your opinions and beliefs to your identity within a group? Or do you base that identity largely around intellectual and moral superiority?
If so, you may defend your beliefs resolutely because it equates to you defending your identity.
To own up to being wrong would shatter that identity.
9. You are highly competitive.
You just love winning and you often see conversations as contests or debates.
So, you keep trying to make your point as strongly and as often as possible to wear down your ‘opponent’ so that they give in and change the subject (or, more likely, distance themselves from you).
10. You learned from your role models.
If you grew up in a home where one parent insisted on being correct or where both parents frequently fought over who was in the right, you may have learned that this behavior was normal and healthy.
You now imitate the things you saw your parent(s) do.
11. Workplace mistakes can have dramatic consequences.
Owning up to your mistakes and admitting when you’re wrong can invite people to try to use that against you.
Perhaps it’s a boss who doesn’t tolerate failure or who believes they can do no wrong.
Maybe it’s a coworker who is angling for a promotion that you’re competing for who will be more than happy to use that mistake against you.
Your need to be right can become a habit if you’re spending 40+ hours a week making sure you’re covering yourself so you don’t get blamed and fired for someone else’s mistake.
12. You have a mental health issue that promotes the need to be right.
If you have a mental health issue like an anxiety disorder, you may feel the need to always be right as a way to keep things in your mind and life plain and predictable.
Significant disruption and unexpected surprises can be upsetting and trigger mental unwellness.
It may feel better for your peace of mind and happiness for you to just stick to your opinion of what you think is right instead of trying to understand another perspective or saying that you don’t know something.
13. Modern society rewards the ‘right’ and punishes the ‘wrong’.
Everything is a competition these days, and often a ruthless one at that.
Being wrong or admitting to mistakes might prevent you from being given opportunities to further your life in some way.
Or that’s how you perceive the world. And so, you refuse to back down because you don’t want to miss out on something over being seen as wrong or inferior.
14. You are a part of an echo chamber.
Social media and the algorithms they employ have led to the emergence of echo chambers that far outstrip anything that might happen in real life. The same can be said for the media.
You can now have your views confirmed by others in groups and channels 24/7 and remain oblivious to opposing opinions.
You become so resolute in your rightness that you will die on the hill to defend it. And this approach has spilled into your everyday interactions, even when they do not involve particularly important matters of beliefs.
