19 Signs He Isn’t Interested In A Proper Relationship
You like this guy.
But it seems he’s not as interested in you as you are in him.
He’s happy to see you from time to time, and he’s very happy to sleep with you…
…but he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Maybe you’ve been ‘seeing’ each other for a while – a few weeks or even a month or two.
However, he never agreed to be exclusive. You never defined your relationship.
But ask yourself this: is it really a relationship if he refuses to commit?
On the other hand, maybe you aren’t yet dating this guy – he’s just someone you know and have a crush on.
You’d like nothing more but to get into a relationship with him, but he keeps finding excuses for why he can’t be with you. Some of those excuses might even make a little sense, but mostly he just wants to wriggle out of getting tied down.
If the guy you’re seeing casually or the guy you’re crushing on displays many of the signs listed below, it’s better to give up on him and find someone who’s interested in an actual relationship.
Here are the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you:
1. He doesn’t want to put a label on what you have.
You should be able to know what to expect from this guy, but he doesn’t believe in labels.
Instead of thinking that you can have some sort of unlabeled relationship, consider what he’s really telling you. A person can be afraid of losing their freedom and independence, and that’s normal. However, it is not something that you avoid by not defining the relationship.
When you don’t want to define a relationship, it’s because you don’t want a relationship to begin with. Even if you are worried about losing something once you commit, you should be mature about it and communicate your needs.
But this guy doesn’t want to communicate his needs. He just wants to give you an excuse for why you shouldn’t be together.
And think about it: a casual relationship is a label too. Are they so afraid of the word ‘relationship’ that they can’t even say that?
You deserve to know what kind of relationship you are in what it might develop into. By refusing to “put a label on things,” your crush is refusing to communicate and commit to you.
2. He always seems distracted and distant.
When you’re together, this guy looks everywhere else but at you. He plays with his phone and asks you to repeat what you were saying because he wasn’t listening.
All in all, he is distracted, distant, and disengaged whenever you see each other. He might be present physically, but his mind is always elsewhere. He’s not really present and doesn’t pay attention to anything that you’re saying.
This is his way of showing you that you’re not as important to him as you’d like to be. A man who cares about you enough to want a relationship would give you his undivided attention. If he’s not doing that, he is not serious about you.
3. He’s still seeing other people.
These days, everyone wants to consider their options when dating, at least at first. So, they’ll talk to more than one person to find the one they connect best with.
However, if you’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks, you should be the only person your date is interested in.
If they’re still active on dating apps and go on dates with other people, what’s going on?
Of course, they might not be into monogamous relationships, but they should make that clear to you from the word go. Instead, this guy is looking for someone else while still keeping you on hold.
Maybe he doesn’t go on actual dates with anyone, but he’s clearly considering other possibilities. If he ever tells you about his interest in other women or flirts with other girls in front of you, he doesn’t want to be with you.
4. He doesn’t talk about the future.
Short-term plans might be okay to begin with, but this guy won’t make any long-term plans with you.
He’s not going to plan something with you for a few months from now. This is because he doesn’t think that he’ll still know you then.
Maybe you want to buy concert tickets in advance or make reservations for a small trip together. But this guy refuses to talk about it and avoids making any plans for the future, even if it’s the near future.
Someone who wants you in their future wouldn’t hesitate to make plans with you. If this guy does, set yourself out for a better future by leaving them in your past.
5. He won’t introduce you to his family and friends.
A person who wants a future with you will introduce you to the other significant people in their lives.
Sure, maybe it’s too early to meet this guy’s family, but what about his friends? If he was into you, he would be eager to let you meet his entourage. He would want to see how you get along with his friends and find out what his friends think about you.
If he doesn’t want to do this, it’s probably because he’s not really interested in having a relationship with you. He doesn’t want to waste time introducing you to the people who matter to him.
And unfortunately, you don’t matter to him enough to be in a relationship with you.
Maybe the two of you ran into some people he knows when you were out. He introduced you as “a friend” and made an effort to indicate that you’re not a couple. This can hurt, but it might just be the sign you need to ditch the commitment-phobe.
Find someone who’d proudly introduce you as his girlfriend to everyone he knows. You deserve nothing less than that.
6. He doesn’t want to meet your family and friends.
Similar to the previous point, this guy won’t agree to meet anyone important to you either. He’ll find excuses not to meet your family and friends or even directly say that he doesn’t want to.
This is because he’s only interested in a short-term fling with you or not even that.
Again, it might be too soon to meet the family anyway. However, the person you’re dating should be interested in meeting your friends and getting to know more about you.
If he doesn’t want to learn more about your world, it’s because he doesn’t want to be a part of it. Meeting your other loved ones would mean that he’s interested in you. Instead, he just wants to get into your pants or even doesn’t want to get involved at all.
7. He doesn’t try to get to know you better.
Clearly, a guy who’s not willing to put effort into getting to know you better doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
After all, someone who wants a relationship would make sure to find out what kind of person they’re getting involved with. This is important so that they can determine whether the relationship could have a future and picture that future.
Your guy just wants to talk about easy, light topics. He makes sure that they have nothing to do with getting to know each other on a deeper level. He doesn’t want to reveal personal things about himself. He isn’t interested in hearing about personal details about you either.
Instead of having long, meaningful conversations about your hopes and fears, you only talk about things that don’t really matter. Making small talk with this guy is just a waste of your time and energy.
8. He doesn’t open up to you.
Someone who wants to be with you will open up emotionally, and they’ll want you to do the same. Being vulnerable in front of each other is a part of being a potential couple.
Your guy, however, never gets vulnerable around you and refuses to open up. You can’t get him to talk about himself and let you learn more about him. He doesn’t let you get to know him better because he’s not interested in having a relationship with you.
And besides, why would you be hung up on someone that you don’t even know that well? Maybe you wouldn’t even want a relationship with him if you knew him better.
If he refuses to open up to you, find someone you can actually get to know on a deeper level. You can’t have a meaningful connection without that, so this guy might as well be just a pretty face.
9. You can’t rely on him or trust him.
You can’t count on him, and you feel like you can’t really trust him either. He is undependable and unreliable because you’re not a priority to him.
He frequently cancels on you and gives you vague answers when you ask him about his whereabouts. In fact, he is vague when you want to talk to him about a relationship and his intentions.
He constantly lets you down when you expect him to be there for you, and this shows that you shouldn’t want him in your life. You need someone you can count on, and, most importantly, someone you can trust.
With this guy, you’re constantly wondering what he’s not telling you. It is that he doesn’t want to be with you. That’s all you really need to know to ditch the guy and find someone trustworthy that you could depend on in a crisis.
10. He’s not affectionate.
Does he do romantic things for you? Does he show you that he cares? Does he talk about the way he feels about you?
If not, he’s not interested in being with you.
Maybe you even don’t exist on his social media and he rarely ever mentions you to anyone he knows. When you’re around other people, he doesn’t hold your hand or kiss you. In fact, he makes an effort to avoid doing that around other people. Maybe he even avoids seeing you in public.
He doesn’t make you feel special, and he doesn’t make you feel wanted. This is a big sign that he’s not the guy for you. He doesn’t want a relationship, and a guy who does would show you affection.
Lack of affection indicates a lack of feelings. If this guy doesn’t care about you, walk away before you get too involved.
11. He frequently disappears on you.
Every now and then, your guy disappears from the face of the Earth, or at least from your life.
You don’t hear from him in days or even weeks. You never find out what he was doing when he was gone, but your gut’s telling you that he’s been seeing other people.
This is highly possible since men who tend to disappear for days are often players. When he disappears, he’s probably not spending all of his time alone in his apartment. It’s highly likely that there are other people that he’d rather spend time with instead of with you.
You never know when you’ll see him again, and this is a clear sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He doesn’t check up on you, and he comes and goes as he pleases.
You shouldn’t tolerate that from anyone, let alone a romantic interest. Don’t let him waste any more of your precious time.
12. He doesn’t have time for you.
Speaking of time, this guy is always too busy to see you. He frequently cancels on you and ditches you to be with other people. He never has time for you, but somehow he has a lot of time for other people and projects.
This shows that you’re not a priority to him, and he doesn’t want to make time for you.
The truth is, no one is that busy; it’s just a matter of priorities. If he wanted to find time for you, he would, even if he had a ton of work to do.
We always find time for people that are important to us. When someone is always too busy to see you, it just shows that you’re not important enough to them to make time for you.
Don’t stand around waiting for him to call when it’s convenient for him. Find someone who’d make you a priority and they’ll always be available and find time for you.
13. He only gets in touch with you when it’s convenient for him.
You do see him sometimes, but only when it’s convenient for him. His other plans fell through, he was bored, or he wants something from you. These are the only times when he reaches out to you or agrees to meet you.
You’re not a priority to him, you’re his backup plan when other things don’t work out for him.
Or, you are his booty call. This is especially true if he only wants to see you at night. He’s not a vampire, so why would he be so afraid of being with you in the sunlight? It’s likely because he’s just using you for physical intimacy, especially if he doesn’t even want to see you in public.
He texts you late at night to ask you to meet him at his place or to ask to come to your place. If that is so, he definitely wants some bedroom action, but he doesn’t want a relationship.
14. He is emotionally unavailable.
This guy is emotionally unavailable. He’s keeping you at a distance and refuses to let his guard down around you. He doesn’t talk about his feelings, let alone his feelings for you.
You don’t know anything about his past or his plans for the future. He refuses to share these things with you and keeps the conversation on a superficial level.
You can feel his lack of affection, and it can feel like he’s pushing you away.
Let him push you away because you shouldn’t chase after a man who doesn’t want a relationship with you. It will only hurt more the longer you pursue a relationship that you can’t have with this man.
15. You don’t really go on dates.
You go to his place, and he comes to yours, but you don’t really go on dates. Yes, maybe you watch a movie together at home, but that’s not really a date.
He is probably only interested in the physical side of things if he doesn’t want to go on actual dates. When you ask him, he tries to avoid the topic, change the topic, or simply bails on you and leaves you guessing.
Even if you’ve been “dating” for months, if you haven’t really been dating, he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
People go on dates to get to know each other better and build emotional intimacy. But it sounds like this guy is only interested in physical intimacy.
If you want something more than that, it might be best to stop sleeping with him. He’s probably still not going to want a serious relationship. However, at least you’ll get out of a no strings attached relationship before you get hurt even more.
16. You can’t be yourself around him.
You don’t feel like yourself when you’re around him. You’re not comfortable being yourself, and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around the guy.
He doesn’t know the real you, and he doesn’t make it easier for you to let him meet you for who you are.
Things are always tense, awkward, dramatic, passionate, or confusing with this guy. So, you can’t relax and just be you. You feel the need to impress him and pretend that you’re something you’re not.
It wouldn’t be like this if he wanted a relationship with you. But, more importantly, you shouldn’t want to be with someone who can’t let you be you.
Being yourself around the person who loves you for you is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. You deserve to have that, so don’t miss out on it just because you’re hung up on a guy who won’t commit.
17. He says that he doesn’t want a serious relationship.
Maybe he even literally said that he doesn’t want a relationship. When a guy tells you that he’s not looking for anything serious, please believe him.
Try to fight to urge to make him change his mind or to wait for him to come to his senses. He won’t, and if he does, it will be with some other girl.
If he said that he doesn’t want a relationship with you, trust him and let him go. Don’t hope that you’ll be different and that he’ll change because of you.
This is one of the oldest traps women fall into, and we set the trap ourselves. Don’t do this. Believe a guy when he tells you that he doesn’t want a serious relationship and find someone who does.
18. You only talk through texting.
You don’t have long, romantic conversations over the phone and fights about who’ll hang up first. Instead, you only talk through texting.
What’s more, his texts are short, and he takes forever to reply. Sometimes, he even ignores your texts and “forgets” to text back. Maybe he even uses texts mainly for the purpose of scheduling a hookup. This proves that he doesn’t want anything serious with you even if he hasn’t said it yet.
He never sends you romantic texts to remind you that he’s thinking about you. Instead, he texts late at night and only to ask you to come over to his place. Don’t be this man’s booty call when you could be someone’s priority.
19. Your friends and family warn you about him.
Even though we don’t always like it, our loved ones often know what’s best for us.
So if the people who care about you are telling you that you should stop seeing this guy, listen to them. They probably have your best interests at heart, and they know that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
They don’t want to see you get your heart broken just because you thought that there could be something more. If your friends and family don’t like the guy you’re seeing, it’s probably because he’s not good for you. You probably already know it too.
