Is he serious about you? Only if you see these signs.
Dating is hard – as are relationships at times!
It can be difficult to gauge how the other person feels, which can leave you feeling anxious.
If you’re wondering how your partner feels about you, there are few clear signs you can look out for.
This list doesn’t cover everything, as everyone has their own ways of showing they care, but it might help ease your mind and reassure you that he’s serious about you.
1. He makes the effort to see you.
It might sound simple, but it’s true – a guy is serious about you if he makes the effort to see you.
During the dating stage, you’re both figuring out how you feel and if you want to invest more in this relationship.
Once you’re past this, him actively choosing to spend time with you, using his free time to see you, means he’s serious about you.
Remember that this doesn’t mean he has to cancel all his other plans or suddenly stop going to football on a Saturday after doing it every week for 5 years!
He doesn’t need to sacrifice everything to spend time with you.
The fact that he makes the effort to see you and hang out really says everything you need to know.
After all, it would be easy for him to just phase things out, end things after the first couple of weeks, or to ghost you (really bad, but it happens!)
If he’s making the effort to see you, he cares and he’s serious about your blossoming relationship.
2. He makes you feel considered.
He thinks about how things will impact you and makes an effort to help you feel like you’re part of his life.
That doesn’t mean that every tiny decision he makes needs to revolve around you, but it’s worth noticing that he factors you into things.
It doesn’t mean you need to be a priority for him all the time – how boring and unhealthy would that be?
But it means he thinks about you and cares enough to take you into consideration.
For example, he lets you know when he’s going out with friends so that you know why he won’t be on his phone replying to you.
Or he plans things around what he knows you like and dislike (like finding an alternative bus route home to avoid the bumpy road he knows you hate!) or he doesn’t bring a bag to work so that he can carry yours on the way home when he picks you up.
It can be things as small and silly as that – relationships aren’t about big gestures and movie-style moments, they’re about the little things that happen every so often that make you happy to be with your partner.
Him doing these little things? A clear sign he’s serious about you.
3. You’ve met his friends/ family.
The fact that he’s introducing you to his friends or family is a great sign that a man is serious about you.
It’s his way of letting you into his life, and his heart, a little more, and shows that he is making a commitment to you and investing in the relationship.
Think about it the other way round – if you were casually hooking up with someone or were dating someone but didn’t see it going anyway, you probably wouldn’t bother introducing them to your friends.
When you know something is short-term, it doesn’t really make sense to let them see that other side of you and your life.
So, if he’s letting you see that, he’s in it for the long run.
He’s opening himself up, he’s proud to be with you and he’s showing that he sees you fitting into his life and wants to make space for you.
4. He makes plans with you.
We’ve all been known to be a bit distant at times when we’re first dating someone.
We don’t really want to dedicate or commit our time to them by making longer-term plans until we know how we actually feel about them.
That’s totally normal, of course – it would be a bit intense if you were planning next year’s holiday with a guy you’ve been on 2 dates with!
But, when you’re with someone and see it becoming something genuine, something longer-term, you feel more comfortable making plans with them.
Again, it might not be a holiday, but it could be a gig next month, or even just a nice weekend of chilling and watching trash TV.
If he’s making an effort to plan things with you, however small they may feel, he’s serious about things with you – why else would he bother?
5. He’s seen the real you – and is still here.
Most of us put our best foot forward when we’re first dating someone.
That’s not to say we’re lying about who we are, but we want to come across as our best selves.
When things start getting a bit more real, you let your guard down and show your true self.
That’s when you figure out how the other person really feels.
Maybe he’s seen you throw a strop because you got told off by your boss, or he’s seen you have a panic attack or crying over something, or maybe you’ve had your first proper argument.
If he’s sticking around after that, you know he’s really into it.
That’s not to say that comforting someone when they’ve had a bad day is heroic and that it’s out of the ordinary, but it shows that you can be real with each other.
It’s easy to date someone and enjoy things when you’re both happy and on your best behavior…
But when real things happen, real emotions come up, and life gets a bit messy, this is when you see how people really feel.
If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t stick around through the not-fun stuff; through the stuff that isn’t part of the ‘fantasy girlfriend’ idea so many men have.
He cares about you and is serious about your relationship – and him accepting and loving the real you says everything you need to know.
6. He apologizes when he needs to.
Your man doesn’t need to say sorry all the time, but acknowledging when you’ve upset someone and apologizing shows another level of care and affection.
It would be easy for him to just let it go, or call things off if you have an argument – some guys walk away when things get hard or ‘real,’ or when they feel like they’ve been called out for their behavior or criticized.
If he’s sticking around, admitting to making a mistake or upsetting you, and apologizing for it off his own back?
He cares, he’s serious, and he wants the resolve any issues so that your relationship is strong – and long!
7. He’s willing to compromise.
Most people don’t make a massive effort to compromise for something they see as a fling.
If a man is planning on something being short-term, he doesn’t really need to compromise.
What would be the point?
So, if your man is making compromises and meeting you in the middle, it means he cares and he’s taking your relationship seriously.
This could be him going to lunch with you and your friends, because it’s something you want that he’s not that bothered about.
It could be that he calls you for a catch-up, despite hating talking on the phone, because he knows it makes you feel happy and secure to hear from him like that.
Whatever it may be, if there are things he’s doing because he knows you like them, even if he doesn’t, he’s making the effort to compromise – and that means, he’s investing in the relationship and is serious about it.
8. He’s committed to you.
Some people think that commitment means sticking a label on it, proclaiming your relationship status on Facebook, and telling everyone you’re ‘official.’
While that might work for some people, other people show commitment in their own ways.
If you’re questioning how serious your man is about you, it may be because you’ve not put a label of things yet.
If that’s the case, consider how else he’s committed to you – maybe it’s the fact that you’re exclusive, or that his friends know all about you, or that he suggests making plans for the future.
Either way, if he does things that make you feel like this could be serious, it’s because he’s serious about you!
9. He still asks questions.
If he still wants to learn more about you, wants to know how you’re feeling, and cares about what you’ve been up to in the day, he genuinely wants to be with you and is serious about your relationship.
That’s not to say that him not asking deep questions every day means he doesn’t care…
…but the fact that he’s curious about you and wants to know what you think about certain things really matters.
It shows he’s committing to learning more about you; to finding out what makes you tick.
It’s a sign that he wants to keep getting to know you better and to keep getting closer to you.
He’s serious about how he feels and he’s making an effort to build your relationship even more.
We sometimes think that we can stop making such an effort to get to know each other once we’re out of the early stages of dating, but it’s really lovely, and healthy, if he’s still making that effort to connect and learn.
It means he wants to find out the best ways to communicate with you in the long-term, and how your lives can really fit together and complement each other.
This shows he’s serious about you and is interested!
10. He listens.
Many women are already aware of the importance of listening to people – not just hearing them.
Not all men are great listeners.
There, we said it!
It’s a bit of a stereotype but there’s some truth behind it.
If you’re with someone who pays attention to what you say, who refers back to things you’ve talked about in the past, and who remembers small details, you’re onto a winner.
It’s the same as with any relationship (be it family, friend, or romantic) – someone paying attention and really listening to you makes you feel like they care.
It makes you feel supported and important.
Maybe he remembered your favorite coffee order, or your friend’s name when you’re chatting about work gossip.
Whatever it is, it shows that he is paying attention and is serious about getting to know you and investing in being with you.
Relationships should be two-sided, so the fact that he’s committing to his side by listening and paying attention shows how serious he is about you.
