He’s not over his ex if he does these things.
We all move on in different ways, but it can be slightly concerning when your partner doesn’t seem to be over his ex.
If you’re wondering where things stand, here are a few things you can look out for.
1. He can’t stop talking about them.
Does his ex come up a little bit too often?
Maybe she’s dropped into conversations randomly, or maybe he steers conversations toward her.
Either way, it’s not something you want or need to hear about.
If you find that your boyfriend keeps mentioning his ex, it could be a sign that he’s not completely over her.
It suggests that she’s still taking up some space in his mind – space that should really be filled with something else (you, for starters!) now that he’s no longer with her.
2. He carries a lot of anger toward them.
Residual anger is a big sign that things aren’t fully resolved between your man and his ex.
It may be that he gets angry about things his ex did or lashes out when something reminds him of her.
Again, this doesn’t mean he’s still in love with her or wants to be with her, but it might be a sign that he hasn’t fully moved on from the relationship, emotionally speaking.
We’ve all been hurt by people and it’s okay to carry that with us!
Think about it: if your best friend upset you or did something you disagree with, you’d probably vent about it and let some of your anger out.
If it seems like they’re still upset at the situation, that’s fair enough. If it seems like the anger is directed at his ex, there’s a chance he’s not completely over her yet.
3. He’s still ‘friends’ with them.
Being friends with an ex can be a positive thing, but it may also be a sign that he’s not entirely over her.
If they still spend time together, even in a friendly capacity, one of them may be clinging to their old feelings – and it may be your boyfriend.
If they still text and call, follow each other on social media, and keep up-to-date with each other, it’s okay that you find this weird!
Many of us never reach the ‘let’s stay friends’ stage of a break-up, so it can seem very odd.
If you think there’s a bit more than just friendly feelings going on, try not to panic.
4. He makes them a priority.
So, let’s say they are still friends. If he’s putting her before you, it’s a sign he’s not yet over her.
There may still be some feelings left, and this may be what’s driving him to prioritize her.
It’s unfair behavior and it’s totally natural (and normal) if it upsets you.
It could be small things like sitting next to her instead of you when you go out as a group, or it could be bigger things like cancelling a plan with you because she ‘needs’ him as a friend.
5. He’s protective over them.
Does he regularly complain about the guys she chooses to date?
Is nobody ever ‘good enough’ for her?
Is he going out of his way to ‘look after’ her?
If the answer is yes, there’s a chance he isn’t over his ex.
Again, there may always be some feelings for an ex partner – it’s just how feelings work!
But, if there are feelings that involve jealousy or a little too much admiration, you need to think about what may really be going on here.
6. He’s invested in their life.
Have you noticed that he still seems to know everything about her life?
Is he weirdly up-to-date on where she’s been on holiday, who she’s dating, and what she had for dinner last night?
If he’s still invested in her life, there’s probably a reason for it.
This may be his way of staying ‘close’ to her – he has access to her through social media and likes to keep up with what she’s doing with her life.
7. He makes lots of comparisons between you and them.
Do you feel like he compares you to his ex a lot?
It may be in a good way, like “I love that you cook a Sunday roast; my ex never did that,” or it may be in a bad way, like “My ex never used to tell me off for this.”
There’s a big difference between these comparisons, but neither is ideal…
8. He didn’t get any closure.
If there was no closure at the end of their relationship, it’s no wonder he’s not fully over his ex.
This is a hard one as it can be tricky to find out how things ended without digging around too much or upsetting yourself (or him).
Maybe things ended suddenly and he didn’t get a chance to find out why.
Maybe she cheated or lied about something important.
Maybe things ended because one of them moved away.
Either way, he may not have gotten closure on things.
9. He’s still got their things.
This can be a bit of a red flag, let’s be honest!
Whether it’s a few hair grips in the bathroom cabinet or her old sweatshirt, it can be unsettling to find things from an ex-girlfriend in your boyfriend’s home.
10. There’s a vibe.
Listen to what your body is telling you is happening.
If you think he’s not over his ex, make sure you sit on that feeling for a little while before you act on it.
It’s all too easy to accuse your partner of cheating, or having feelings for an ex, because of something you feel or think in a brief moment.
Rather than lashing out, think it through before you have a serious conversation.
If you get the feeling that things aren’t quite right, they may not be.
