The end of the honeymoon phase isn’t the end.
The end of the honeymoon phase may sound bad, but it’s a natural transition. It’s only really a problem when couples stop putting in the necessary effort to each other and the relationship.
Whilst the honeymoon phase is never going to last forever (and neither should it), you can still keep the spark (and relationship) alive by doing some of the following things.
1. Compliment each other more often.
Focus on your partner’s positive traits. During the honeymoon phase, you didn’t notice their negative qualities as much as you do now.
Prolong the honeymoon phase by paying more attention to your partner’s good qualities and giving them compliments when you do.
By complimenting your partner more often, you will make them feel loved and it will also remind you of why you love them. Make your partner feel good about themselves and focus on what you love about them instead of letting their bad little habits annoy you.
Compliment them on their looks, but also on any personality traits that you like. For instance, maybe they are hardworking and ambitious or they are kind and generous.
2. Share fun experiences.
Bond over shared interests like you used to during the honeymoon phase. Try new things and explore new interests too. You could start a hobby together or learn a new skill. Try cooking classes or dance lessons. Consider sports or arts, start a collection, or join a club together.
Try new foods and drinks and visit new locations. Go to parties or host dinner parties at home and meet new friends that you can hang out with together.
Whatever it is that you do, make sure to still share fun new experiences like you used to.
A committed relationship can get boring, but only if you stop doing new fun things together.
3. Make plans for the future.
Don’t stop daydreaming about your future together. Make travel plans, talk about what your dream home is going to look like, and discuss what you’d like to achieve together.
Set goals for your relationship and its future. You don’t have to be entirely realistic when making these plans. Let them turn into long conversations where you fantasize about the perfect life that you’ll have together just like you did during the honeymoon phase.
Plan new adventures that you’ll have together and come up with names for your kids. Enjoy simply feeling positive about the future that you can have with your partner.
4. Keep surprising each other.
Boredom doesn’t have to creep into your relationship just because the honeymoon phase is ending. Prolong it by surprising each other now and then.
Buy your partner a thoughtful gift, bring them coffee to work, make them breakfast in bed, or buy them tickets to their favorite show. Keep surprising each other with small romantic gestures and acts of kindness.
Make your partner happy by doing little things for them, such as remembering the details that they mention and using them to plan surprises. Take note of your partner’s likes and interests and use them to plan the perfect gift or date.
Try to be more spontaneous. Show your partner that they don’t have you entirely figured out by keeping the surprises coming.
5. Travel together.
There are always new, fun things that you can experience, especially if you travel together.
Traveling to a new location can make your relationship feel fresh again and help you bond over shared experiences.
Try new cuisines and beverages and talk to the locals to learn more about their culture.
Even if you can’t afford to travel right now, make travel plans for the future.
For now, you could go on a road trip, on a weekend getaway trip, or head to the spa for a few days. You could even pretend to be tourists in your own town and visit places you’ve never been before.
6. Let your hugs and kisses last longer.
Most couples start to rush intimacy after the honeymoon phase. They no longer savor every moment like they used to, and this damages their relationship. So, their hugs and kisses become a two-second routine that happens when they leave the house, wake up, or go to bed.
Start doing these things on more random occasions and, when you do, make them last longer.
When you consciously make an effort to kiss and hug longer, you will stop to enjoy the moment instead of letting it be a routine.
Take your time when cuddling and being physically intimate too. Focus only on each other like you did during the honeymoon phase.
7. Go on more dates.
Don’t turn into one of those couples who stay home and do nothing all day. Go on romantic dates, plan fun activities, and dress up for dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Maybe you know you’re still in love, but it sure doesn’t feel that way when you’re always on the couch in sweatpants.
There are endless date ideas that you could try, and you can even write them all down. Put one date idea on a piece of paper and place them in a jar. Now you have your own little game! Each week, draw a piece of paper to decide where you’ll go on your next date.
Schedule regular date nights, at least once a week, even if you’re not planning anything huge. Whatever gets you out of the house and into a romantic mood is good enough.
8. Talk about your feelings.
Open up to each other and talk about your feelings. Share details about your days and how what happened during your day made you feel. Discuss how you feel about each other now that the honeymoon phase is ending. It’s normal to have some doubts in a long-term relationship, so share them with your partner and let them reassure you of their love.
The truth is, many couples break up when the honeymoon phase ends. But it usually just takes a bit of effort to keep the flame burning, and you can still have romance and excitement if you invest the energy into it.
Discuss how you are going to do that and make plans for handling the end of the honeymoon phase.
9. Stay respectful during fights.
Avoid name-calling and screaming matches. Stay respectful during fights and make your arguments constructive. Don’t say things that you can’t take back later, and fight to come up with a solution to your problems rather than making the problem bigger than it already is.
Make compromises and be ready to apologize when you make a mistake. Most importantly, keep in mind that you still love and respect the person that you’re fighting with. Adjust your words and actions accordingly.
You can disagree, but it’s not okay to insult each other. This can be avoided by using more “I” statements than “You” statements when you argue—don’t point fingers.
10. Keep learning more about each other.
Don’t assume that you already know everything about your partner just because you’ve been together for a long time. Keep asking them questions to learn more about them.
What do you think about this TV show? Which song do you like best from this album? Even simple questions like these could help you learn more about your partner and keep up with their current likes and interests.
However, you can also make your questions more philosophical and engage in meaningful conversations about who your partner is as a person, the meaning of life, or moral dilemmas.
Ask your partner what their favorite animal is or which of your T-shirts they like best on you. You can also discuss political views or religious beliefs. It can be anything!
Just remember to stay curious about your partner and ask them interesting questions. You might find that there’s more to learn.
11. Talk about physical intimacy.
Routine can creep into your bedroom too. So, don’t avoid talking about it.
How often would you like to be physically intimate? Is there something new that you’d like to try? Open up to your partner about these things.
Try new things—it doesn’t have to be something overly exotic. Simply being physically intimate in a different place could be exciting, even if it’s just a different room in your home.
Are your physical needs still being met in your relationship? If not, this is not something that you can ignore. Talk to your partner if you’d like to be physical intimate more often, and even consider scheduling intimate time.
However, don’t forget that you also need to be able to cuddle often without it leading to anything else. If you’re not having as much physical intimacy as you’d like, introducing more of these gentle touches, such as kissing and cuddling, can also increase intimacy.
12. Talk about your problems.
When the honeymoon phase ends, problems start, or at least we start noticing and creating them.
If you’re missing the fireworks from when you first started dating your partner, maybe you expect too much from them.
Talk about these things. Put effort into maintaining your relationship by discussing your problems.
You can also include an expert in these conversations. Couples therapy is an effective way to deal with some common, but serious, relationship problems that most couples encounter after the honeymoon phase.
Keep investing in your relationship and get expert advice on how to approach a specific problem that you’re dealing with if needed.
