Of all the trends we’ve experienced in recent years, one of the most insidious is the expectation that everyone shares their personal life in the public sphere. Below are 14 reasons why a private life is far more beneficial for all of us:
1. To protect yourself.
There’s an old saying, “What they don’t know can’t hurt me”. The more you broadcast about yourself publicly, the more information others can use against you.
For example, most employers aren’t allowed to ask questions about your personal life, but they can check out your social media profiles. If you publicly discuss every minutia of your private life, that information could sabotage your future endeavors.
2. You reduce stress.
We have enough stress to deal with without adding to it by constantly wondering if something we said, or did, might come under scrutiny.
Give yourself the gift of greater inner peace by keeping your thoughts (and photographic evidence of your antics) to yourself.
3. You enjoy what matters most.
When you consider the people you love most in the world, do you think about whether they drive a cool car or have achieved sufficient social recognition?
Our value isn’t dictated by how much we’ve spent on clothes or how many strangers would recognize us at the airport. When we live unknown lives, we can enjoy the things we like on our terms, rather than clamoring for status or approval.
4. You can be yourself.
Who are you when nobody is watching?
Those who broadcast their personal lives into public spaces often curate what’s shown to suit the wants of others for the sake of approval and acceptance. Personal authenticity is set aside in favor of performance, and they lose track of who they really are.
If the opportunity arises, spend some time alone without constant online connectivity. How you feel and respond to things during this time will give you an idea of who you are when you aren’t pandering to the public’s perception of you.
5. You can be selective.
Consider the phrase, “Be available, but not attainable”. Keep your social media accounts for the sake of networking and remaining in contact with those you care about, but be very selective about when—and with whom—you interact.
Basically, engage on your terms and in your own time, rather than when others are demanding your attention.
6. You encourage humility.
It’s wonderful when people do philanthropic acts to help others, but much of what’s broadcast on social accounts is for accolades, rather than authentic charity.
While it’s heartwarming to see folks offer homeless people money, or get involved with outreach work, it’s less inspiring when we have to wonder whether they’re doing so out of real kindness, or just to take videos to show others how virtuous and altruistic they are.
Countless famous people and everyday folks like you and me, do kindness for others without publicizing it. Doing so carries a lot more weight and encourages much more humility than telling others to gain recognition.
7. You reduce the pressure to conform.
If you scroll randomly through a few hundred Instagram or TikTok accounts, you’ll likely notice the Cult of Sameness. Members of the ‘Look at Me’ generation are almost interchangeable, with the same clothes, plastic surgery, and facial expressions.
When you withdraw into your own sphere, you’ll feel a lot less pressure to conform to other people’s expectations about how you look, behave, date, and live your life.
You can place more emphasis on authenticity, and have the confidence to explore unconventional paths and experiences that lead you to entirely unexpected levels of joy and fulfillment.
8. You have more authentic interactions.
We live in an era where ghosting and deleting people is an everyday occurrence. Human beings are discarded if they don’t behave exactly as expected or requested.
People go on each other’s social sites and if they see thoughts or images they don’t agree with, even if it was a dozen years ago, they make assumptions about you and cut you out of their life.
Being more reserved about what you think and feel, and refraining from sharing intimate details about yourself, allows relationships to develop in a healthier, more natural manner. People get to know you for you, rather than forming a narrative about you based on snippets you’ve shared.
9. You have a greater appreciation for the present.
Many of us were lucky enough to have the opportunity to watch the Aurora Borealis. Some gazed at the sky for hours and appreciated its beauty, while others reached for their phones to document and share it. By doing so, they weren’t truly reveling in this experience but were simply accumulating material to post for likes.
When you don’t feel a need to document everything you experience for other people’s eyes, you can live more fully in each moment as it unfolds. Pour all your attention towards an amazing meal shared with your partner, rather than photographing it for your followers’ approval.
This moment will never happen again, so try to be as present as possible.
10. You build inner contentment.
Ask yourself how much of your contentment comes from your pursuits, rather than other people’s validation.
If you’ve created an art piece that you took immense joy in making, can you be happy with it on your own terms? Or do you share it so others can determine whether it’s acceptable or not? Similarly, can you look in a mirror and be at peace with your reflection? Or do you seek approval from others to make you feel good about yourself?
Try taking a social media break and see how your self-esteem fares after a month away from other people’s eyes.
11. You reduce the impact of your mistakes.
Most of us look back at mistakes we made years ago and are horrified by our words or actions. If we’re lucky, those errors happened without too many witnesses so we could learn from them and move on. In contrast, if these mistakes happen online, they’re around forever.
You aren’t the same person now as you were when you messed up, but the billions of people who have access to your shame will hold it against you and throw it back at you indefinitely.
As such, the best way to ensure personal growth without recrimination is to live as privately as possible. That way, your missteps are yours alone, rather than everyone else’s to use against you.
12. You enhance your decision-making capabilities.
How many people do you know who can make decisions for themselves, rather than asking others for help about what they should do?
When you don’t care about public opinion, you can use your own critical thinking and analysis skills to make decisions that are ideal for you, rather than going along with what others think is best.
This promotes both self-confidence and immense self-reliance. You’ll know you can deal with situations and problems self-sufficiently when they arise, rather than perpetually turning to your social network of strangers for support.
13. You enhance your self-confidence in social interactions.
Many people struggle with cultivating relationships in real life, especially if they have social anxiety. As such, they often list their personal details publicly so they can connect solely with others who share similar traits.
The problem with this approach is people expect to know everything about everyone upfront, instead of finding things out little by little.
It may be scary to face the world without the buffer of knowing personal details from the get-go. You’ll probably experience the discomfort of unfamiliar—possibly awkward—territory. But the thing is, it’s only in dealing with unfamiliar situations that we learn how to navigate them.
You can’t learn to swim without getting wet, and you won’t learn to negotiate social interactions unless you experience them.
14. You avoid pigeonholing yourself.
Many actors, after playing one major role, end up being typecast into that same sort of role forever. The same thing can happen if you curate one persona online that others get to know.
We’re all multifaceted beings, but if you develop a following because of one aspect of your personality or life, people may try to keep you in that role and will get upset if you discuss or display aspects they ‘aren’t here for’.
The more you keep yourself to yourself, and live a private life without sharing too many details with others, the freer and more authentic that life can be.
