9 Disrespectful Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate From Your Partner

Don’t ignore these signs of disrespect from your partner.

A split image shows two people in a heated argument. On the left, a man points his finger and looks seriously at the other person. On the right, a woman faces the man and appears to be shouting, with an angry expression. Both are wearing red shirts.

It’s not nice to have to admit that your partner is disrespecting you. Nobody wants to feel that way or think that about their partner. But it happens, and more often than you might think.

Disrespect doesn’t have to spell the end of your relationship – you can work on things together. But you shouldn’t allow the following behaviors to go unchecked.

1. They don’t value your time or effort.

A man and a woman, both in business attire, stand in a modern kitchen. The man gestures towards a paper bag that the woman is holding, smiling as she looks at him. The kitchen has a microwave, a kettle, glass jars, and various utensils on the countertop.

Is your partner always late when they’ve promised to meet you?

Do they notice when you put yourself out for them, or when you make more of an effort in your relationship at any time?

Do they show their appreciation when you organize date nights or trips for the both of you?

If these are issues in your relationship, it’s not surprising that you’re feeling unseen and disrespected by your partner.

The expectation that you will always be there waiting for them or to pick up after them without any recognition sounds as though they’ve become too comfortable in your relationship.

Because they feel safe in the knowledge that you will be there no matter what, they’ve stopped putting effort in from their side and have become disrespectful of your time and energy.

The more they leave you waiting or are unappreciative of your gestures, the more demoralized it will make you feel.

Your time and effort is just as valuable as theirs. You should both feel as though you are getting as much out of your relationship as you are putting into it. If that balance is off, it needs to be addressed.

2. They ignore or overstep your boundaries.

A woman with long, braided brown hair wearing a blue top appears distressed, holding her forehead with one hand. In the blurred background, there is an out-of-focus man. The setting seems to be indoors with soft lighting.

This type of negative behavior from a partner can show itself in different shapes and forms.

It might be that they don’t respect your personal choices in how you want to live. It could be choices in the food you eat, or the activities you do that they don’t agree with or support.

Perhaps they don’t respect your privacy because you’ve found them going through your phone or personal belongings without your permission.

It may even be a problem in the bedroom where you feel as though any time you say ‘no’ to something you aren’t comfortable with or in the mood for, they still think they can convince you otherwise.

This all comes down to your partner not taking your boundaries seriously and placing their needs above yours. It shows that whatever you say, they feel as though they can convince you round to their way of thinking and that their feelings are more valid than yours are.

If it continues, this type of behavior can leave you powerless in the relationship, unable to make them listen to any objection or opinion you have.

You shouldn’t be a passenger in your relationship, unable to have a voice to match your partner’s. You are one half of this partnership and deserve to be taken seriously whether or not your partner agrees with your personal choices or opinions.

3. They don’t listen to your opinion.

A woman with her hand on her forehead and a concerned expression stands beside a seated man leaning back in his chair, holding his head with one hand and a pill bottle in the other. They are surrounded by paperwork on a table in a dimly lit room.

There’s a difference between disagreeing with someone’s opinion and showing them disrespect by not acknowledging it at all.

You don’t have to agree with each other 100% of the time, and sometimes there might be issues where you and your partner will never fully see eye to eye.

In these situations, ask yourself whether or not you still feel heard? Although they may not agree with your opinion, do they at least allow you to share it and take it seriously?

If your partner shuts down the conversation by telling you your opinion is ‘wrong’ and won’t allow you time to explain, then they aren’t showing you the respect you deserve.

There isn’t always a right or wrong answer, but disagreeing with someone doesn’t have to mean either of you are wrong, just that you approach the subject differently.

Your opinion is an expression of how you feel about something, and in your relationship, you have a right to share your thoughts and feel listened to.

If you respect your partner enough to let them share their opinion in peace, the least they can do is show you the same level of respect back.

4. They control your voice.

A man and woman sit on a bed in a bedroom. The woman, looking upset, has her arms crossed and is facing away from the man. The man is gesturing with one hand and appears to be explaining or arguing with her. Both are casually dressed in jeans and sweaters.

A lot of disrespect comes from a need for control by one partner over the other. They don’t see you as an equal in this relationship and instead try to overpower you so they can feel in charge.

Examples of this type of behavior include your partner speaking over you rather than letting you finish a sentence, or raising their voice so you can’t be heard.

Anything your partner does that deliberately stops you from having a say and sharing your opinion is a way of them cutting you out of the conversation and only allowing their thoughts to be heard.

Giving you the silent treatment until you cave in to their demands, known as stonewalling, has the same effect as cutting off your voice, but in a different way. If your partner deliberately blocks your calls and ignores any attempt at discussion, they’re manipulating the situation by silencing you completely and not engaging with you until you give in to them and they’ve gotten the result they wanted.

If they aren’t allowing you an equal voice in this relationship, they aren’t giving you the same level of respect they expect for themselves. It’s not only disrespectful but hurtful and manipulative and is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

5. They’re not honest with you.

A person with shoulder-length brown hair is standing outside on green grass, wearing a white t-shirt and black skirt. They have their hand behind their back, fingers crossed.

Trust is one of the biggest factors in whether or not a relationship will work out.

You have to be able to trust each other in order to be vulnerable around each other and build a deeper connection. If your partner isn’t being honest with you, then trust between you can’t develop and your relationship won’t progress.

If you think your partner is lying to you, or they deliberately disappear for long periods of time with no contact, not only does this affect your trust in them, but it shows that they aren’t taking you seriously as an equal partner in this relationship.

There is no place for dishonesty between a couple. It can shatter a relationship in an instant and make it impossible for you to trust each other again.

Even the smallest lie can escalate and shows that your partner does not respect you enough to be truthful with you, making you wonder what else they could hide from you in the future.

Similarly, just because they aren’t actively lying about where they are going, it still shows that they don’t care about the worry or upset they cause you by not communicating and would rather put their needs above yours.

It’s not that you should message each other constantly; you can still have your independence in a relationship while checking in with each other regularly. But there is no excuse for lying to your partner, and you should always think about how your actions could make your partner feel.

Disrespect comes from a lack of thought and care for the other person. You need to be a team that is willing to, and able to, trust each other completely if this relationship is going to last.

6. They talk down to you.

A man and a woman are having an intense argument in a kitchen. The man, wearing a light blue shirt, is pointing his finger at the woman, who is wearing a gray blouse. Both appear upset, with the woman gesturing with her hands. Kitchen items are blurred in the background.

How you communicate in your relationship is personal to each individual couple. For some, swearing at each other may be part of daily life, while for others, it’s not acceptable.

However you interact, there is a line where language becomes derogatory and disrespectful. If the tone of your partner is aggressive and bullying, and they’re choosing language that they know will trigger and hurt you, it shows a fundamental lack of respect in your relationship.

Their language doesn’t always have to be vulgar or aggressive. Belittling you, patronizing you, and dismissing your feelings are all examples of your partner knowingly hurting you and trying to overpower you through their language.

If you respect your partner, you shouldn’t ever feel that it’s okay to speak to them as though they are less worthy than you. Both of you have a right to be heard and given space to share your emotions and opinions without fear of judgment. You shouldn’t be willing to purposefully insult each other. Hurtful words are hard to forget.

7. They use your own feelings against you.

A man and woman are sitting at a table near a window, having a conversation. The man gestures with his hands, while the woman looks at him, holding a phone. On the table are two mugs, a plate with cookies, and a plate with toast and jam.

Allowing yourself to be physically and emotionally vulnerable in front of your partner can be hard for some people. But it’s essential to grow a deeper connection together as a couple.

In order to be vulnerable with your feelings, you have to trust that whatever you share with each other remains private.

Your partner should respect that some things between a couple should remain between a couple, especially those that are deeply personal. If they are openly talking about your insecurities without your permission, it shows huge disrespect for the trust you’ve shown them and built between you.

Equally, if they are using your insecurities to their advantage, playing on your emotions, and trying to manipulate you by using what you’ve shared with them against you, then this is a toxic situation you don’t want to have any part of.

You and your partner should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, keeping each other’s confidence, supporting and helping each other through times of difficulty. If the respect for each other’s trust and openness isn’t taken seriously, then your relationship won’t get very far.

8. They have inconsiderate habits.

A man with orange-dyed hair, wearing a plaid shirt, sits on a sofa in a cozy, modern living room and eats noodles from a bowl using chopsticks. The living room features warm lighting, a wooden floor, and shelves with books and decorations.

There will be times when your partner annoys you, and vice versa. We all have our own little habits that irritate each other that are just part and parcel of any relationship.

But when your partner’s habits goes past plain irritating and become inconsiderate, it shows that they don’t respect how their actions affect you or care about trying to change them.

It could be waking you up too early in the morning by turning on the light every day, knowing you want to sleep in, or deliberately being noisy when they know you need quiet to concentrate and work for a while. Maybe you share a car and they always take it before checking with you first or never fill it up with fuel for the next use.

When their actions significantly affect your daily life in a negative way, and you’ve tried asking them to stop and nothing changes, their behavior crosses into disrespectful territory and you have to question whether they consider your happiness as much of a priority as theirs.

9. They’re a flirt.

A happy young woman with long blonde hair and wearing a striped shirt is standing close to a smiling bearded man in a blue shirt, leaning against a brick wall. Both are gazing at each other affectionately in the sunlight.

Your partner might naturally have a charismatic nature and flirtatious personality, but it’s obvious when harmless flirting crosses the line into something more serious and disrespectful.

If they are actively flirting with other people, especially in front of you, they could be trying to make you feel jealous and manipulate your feelings. What they’re doing is disrespectful of the relationship you share together and deliberately hurtful.

How can you really trust them if you see them flirting with other people? Even if they tell you it’s harmless fun, you should be in a relationship where your partner can’t take their eyes off you. You shouldn’t have to fight for their attention.