If You Want A Happy Life, Say Goodbye To These 14 Toxic Behaviours

1. Seeking The Validation Of Others

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair gazes thoughtfully out of a window. She is wearing a white shirt and stands in natural light, creating a serene and contemplative mood.

As much as life is about the people you spend it with, you should not be reliant on them to make you feel happy.

If you are constantly looking for the reassuring approval and validation of a third party, you will never truly find peace.

You must, instead, realize that the only opinions that really matter are the ones you have of yourself.

Nobody else can give you the self assurance and confidence that you desire.

2. Participating In Drama

A woman with short blonde hair and red lipstick poses with her arms raised above her head. She is illuminated by a focused, blue-tinted spotlight, creating dramatic shadows against a dark background. Her eyes are closed, and she conveys a feeling of poise and elegance.

Drama can only exist if there are people willing to participate in it.

When you starve drama of your energy and attention, it fades into oblivion.

Thus, your reaction to a given situation is of great importance, for it determines how things will ultimately play out.

Make a conscious choice not to pour fuel on the fire, but to act with calm and composure, and drama will become a thing of your past.

3. Comparing Yourself To Others

Two women standing against a pink background, looking at each other with raised eyebrows. Both are holding smartphones, one with a yellow case and the other with a black case. They are dressed casually in sleeveless tops and jeans, indicating a possible disagreement.

Perhaps the most universal of all toxic behaviors is the need to compare yourself to other people.

This desire to look at others and weigh their lives against your own is an entirely futile exercise because of the complete subjectivity of existence.

Physical appearance, material wealth, and life experiences cannot reveal how a person is feeling or what they are thinking.

True contentment only comes when you are thankful for everything you have been blessed with.

4. Negative Self Talk

A person with short-cropped blonde hair wearing a dark shirt holds their head in their hands, eyes closed and brow furrowed, appearing to be in distress. The background is a textured, neutral-colored wall.

The way you speak to and about yourself has a significant influence on how you feel.

If you are forever using self-limiting language and believing the worst will happen, you’ll be unable to enjoy and appreciate the good things that enter your life.

Negative thoughts lead to negative actions and sooner or later you’ll find yourself in a downward spiral of unhelpful energy, expectations, and experiences.

5. People Pleasing

When you put the needs and desires of others ahead of your own without a good reason, you act from a place of personal insecurity.

This behavior can lead to people taking advantage of you and to you feeling resentful when you don’t receive the thanks and approval you are looking for.

6. Perfectionism

A woman in a denim jacket sits at a desk with books and papers, reaching for a book. Behind her are bookshelves filled with books. She appears focused and studious in the library-like setting.

While there is nothing overly wrong with striving to do your best at something, if you pursue the goal of perfection in everything you do, you set yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and disappointment.

Perfection in its truest sense is a myth; opinions can be formed and consensuses reached among certain groups of people, but nobody can lay claim to it in any form.

We all have limits and the reality is that you will be better at some things than others.

7. Taking Things Personally

Two people sitting together on blue chairs in an airport waiting area. They appear relaxed, with one person resting their arm on the back of the seat. In the background, there is a gate marked with a "3" and a counter. Sunlight filters through the large windows.

Some unkind acts and comments may well be directed at us, but there is also an unhealthy tendency to take things personally even when they are not.

When you assume that a person’s anger, annoyance, sadness, or displeasure is your fault, you begin a dangerous thought process.

It makes you believe that you are a burden to them, that they do not like or love you, and that you are undeserving of their respect.

By taking responsibility for things that have little to do with you, you decrease your own sense of self-worth.

8. Reliving The Past

A young woman with long, straight brown hair and fair skin is looking off to the side with a neutral expression. She is wearing a dark blazer, and the background shows an urban setting with blurred buildings and vehicles.

The past cannot be undone and it cannot be changed; it becomes a matter of fact as soon as it has happened.

Letting your mind drift back to past events, then, has very little in the way of value.

Aside from the lessons it can teach you, dwelling on things that have already passed only prolongs the negative emotions you associate with it.

Generally speaking, past pain is felt far more vividly than past pleasure, so the past is best left in the past.

9. Worrying About The Future

A woman with red hair works on a laptop, seated at a desk against a backdrop of beige curtains. She is wearing a light gray button-up shirt and appears focused on her task. The lighting is warm, casting gentle shadows around her.

Just as the past cannot be undone, the future cannot be foretold.

Here too, the effects of negative emotions are far greater than their positive counterparts.

Worry and anxiety can easily take hold of your mind, but you can never quite experience happiness over things that are yet to occur.

Having goals, dreams, plans, and aspirations is not necessarily bad, but they should be looked upon as possibilities and not outright certainties; the same should hold true for future risks.

10. The Overuse Of Technology

A person with long hair, wearing a light jacket and a pale pink shirt, is holding a white smartphone and appears to be texting or scrolling. They have earphones plugged into the phone, and the background is blurred, showing an outdoor setting.

With the rapid pace of technological progress, the influence it has on our lives is growing almost daily.

While many of these innovations are extremely helpful and generally harmless, there are instances where your use – and eventual dependence – on technology becomes a problem.

From gaming to social media, the lure of technology can be highly addictive if it is not kept in check.

11. Ignoring Self-care

A person with long, dark hair tied back, wearing a white shirt, sits at a desk with an open laptop and several books. They rest their head in their hands, appearing stressed or tired, in a room with shelves filled with books.

A very obvious behavior that can lead to long-term complications and unhappiness is neglecting to take care of one’s health.

Whether this is through the physical impact of abusing your body or from the lack of attention paid to the state of your mind, we’re all guilty of not caring for ourselves as we should.

If you let this go too far, however, the impact and damage may become irreversible.

12. Not Speaking Out

Two people, a man and a woman, are intently reviewing photographs on a table in a modern studio. Camera equipment, including lenses and a camera, is scattered on the table. The background features shelves, lighting equipment, and a minimalistic design.

Not all toxic behaviors involve your actions; sometimes it is when you do not act that you are potentially harming your well-being.

One such example is when you do not speak up and speak out when you disagree with someone or something.

By not doing so, you allow others to dictate the terms by which you are then forced to live; you let them walk over you with little regard for your opinions or feelings.

13. Holding On To Loss

A woman with dark hair tied back in a braid sits on a modern gray couch in a minimalist living room, looking towards a large blank screen on the wall. Sunlight streams in through large windows on the left side of the room.

Life cannot be without loss; it is a big factor whether we like it or not.

We lose people, security, and even our own independence at various points during our lives.

When we grieve for this loss, it helps us to accept it and then move on, but if we refuse to let go of what has gone, it keeps us trapped in a state of perpetual sadness.

Until you can relinquish your hold on that which has passed, you will be locked in place, unable to more forward upon life’s path.

14. Resisting New Experiences

An elderly woman with short gray hair gazes thoughtfully out of a window on a rainy day, holding a white mug. She wears a light pink sweater, and the window is covered with raindrops. The background outside the window is slightly blurred.

Intrinsically linked to your worry about the future is the resistance you may have to trying new and different things.

You find yourself in a comfort zone, which, while not always negative, may restrict your enjoyment of life.

You may shun the novel in favor of the known even if the former would increase your overall satisfaction.

Finally…

A man with short hair and a beard stands by a window with his hands pressed against the glass. He appears deep in thought or reflection, gazing downwards. The scene outside is blurred, focusing attention on his contemplative expression.