If You Spot These 10 Behaviors, Drama Has Taken Over Your Life

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Into everyone’s life, a bit of drama will fall.

A young woman with two buns in her hair and wearing a red and white striped shirt is looking at her phone with a surprised expression. Her eyes are wide open, and her mouth is slightly agape. She is against a solid pink background.

It’s inevitable. What isn’t inevitable is when a person’s entire life seems to be a festering cesspit of drama the likes of which would make the Kardashians seem stable.

If you can’t get through a day without your heart racing as you pound out snarling responses on Reddit or Medium…

…or if your social circle tiptoes around you for fear of triggering you, it’s quite possible that drama has taken over what used to be your life.

Scan through the following and see if anything strikes a chord.

1. You Wake Up Wondering Whom You’re Going To Yell At Today

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a light gray blazer and white shirt, is holding an old-fashioned corded telephone receiver and yelling into it. She appears frustrated or angry. The background is out of focus, with some greenery visible.

We live in an era where “outrage culture” is the norm.

A quick glance at the comments section* of anything posted online will show just how incandescent people can get at the slightest provocation.

Insults, slurs, death threats… all are now par for the course as keyboard warriors foam about their dismay from a safe distance.

Are you one of them? Do you scroll through your social media feed just looking for something that irks you enough so you can unleash fury?

2. You Manage To See The Negative In Any Situation

You’re given a box of expensive chocolates as a gift, but there are some white chocolate truffles mixed in with the dark. UGH. Seriously? Well, that was a disappointment.

Maybe your parents decided to surprise you with a car as a gift, but omg they chose THAT color? Are they trying to embarrass you?

Bottom line: very little gratitude and humility, and a whole lot of entitlement and self-absorption.

3. You Overanalyze And See Subtext In Everything

A man in a mustard yellow sweater and matching flat cap lounges in a beige chair. He wears a burgundy blazer and a silver watch. In the background, there is a large green plant and an abstract painting on a white wall. The setting is bright with natural light.

Did your partner take too long to text you back? Well, you know what they’re up to so there’s no specific reason why it should have taken them so long.

And when you questioned (*cough…interrogated…cough*) them about it, they got defensive and quiet.

So you were onto something. It couldn’t possibly have been something going on in their life rather than specifically something about you.

4. Your Epitaph Will Simply Say: “Offended”

A woman with long, dark hair sits at an outdoor café table, resting her chin on her hand. She wears a red coat and looks thoughtful. In front of her is a dessert glass with whipped cream and a teapot. Her phone is on the table next to her.

The tiniest thing might set you off and have you calling/texting everyone you know, up in arms because you’re offended and foaming about something or other.

…probably something that has nothing specifically to do with you to begin with.

And the fact that it’s not about you offends you. And then you lash out at the person who offended you, only to get more offended when they point out how overdramatic you’re being.

5. You Get Bored Easily, And Make Changes To Keep Things Fun

A man and a woman are seated on a couch, with pillows behind their backs. The man, wearing an orange shirt, is holding a TV remote and smiling. The woman, with long red hair in a green blouse, has her head resting on her hand and appears bored or disinterested.

Relationship getting too intense? Well, there are SO many things wrong, you might as well just end it. After all, there are bajillions of other people out there, right?

Same with your job: your boss doesn’t appreciate you, your coworkers are idiots, you got in trouble for messing with your phone during a staff meeting (it was BORING)… screw it, you’ll get another one.

Your hair color may change weekly. You might reinvent your look on a regular basis, maybe change your group of friends as soon as the current group starts to clue into how high-maintenance you are.

6. If You’re Left Out Of The Loop, You Assume It’s On Purpose

Two women stand against a pink background, looking at each other with suspicious expressions. The woman on the left has curly hair and wears a denim shirt over a light blue top, while the woman on the right has straight hair and wears a checkered shirt over a white top.

If your best friends don’t contact you several times a day, you naturally assume that there’s something going on that they don’t want you to know about.

Or they’re mad at you for something.

Or they’re plotting something.

Or there’s a party happening and no-one’s telling you about it because of that last time when you accidentally did that thing that they’re not allowed to talk about.

7. Other People’s Battles Are Yours Too

Three people are engaged in a heated discussion indoors. A man on the left and a woman on the right are facing each other, while an older woman in the middle is trying to mediate, extending her arms toward both of them. The atmosphere is tense.

Your sibling has a fight with one of your parents, so you have to get involved. You convince yourself that it’s because you care and you want everyone to get along, so it’s their problem if they don’t want you to help.

If a friend of yours has an issue with their spouse, you may email said spouse and lay into them: how dare they cause such BS!

Someone’s giving a coworker grief? Well, you’ll retaliate on their behalf, won’t you?

8. Apologies Aren’t Your Thing

A man and a woman are having a discussion indoors. The woman, with blonde hair, is sitting with her arms crossed and an unhappy expression. The man, with short hair, is sitting behind her gesturing with his hands and speaking. The background includes striped curtains.

You always have an excuse for your behavior, so why on earth would you need to apologize for any of it?

You might offer the occasional “mea culpa” if someone’s really up your ass about something you did to upset them (ugh, people can be so dramatic, can’t they?), but a sincere, heartfelt apology? Nuh.

You may have said things in the past like “I’m sorry you took it that way” or “I’m sorry you’re oversensitive right now.”

If you’ve ever accused someone of being off their meds rather than apologizing for having hurt them, that’s something you should probably address.

9. You’re Always A Willing Ear Or Shoulder To Cry On (You LOVE IT)

Two women sit on a park bench. The woman on the left appears upset, holding a tissue to wipe her tears, while the woman on the right, wearing a colorful scarf, offers comfort by placing a hand on her shoulder. Trees and a path are visible in the background.

Whether someone loses their job, breaks up with their partner, or receives a shocking bit of terrible news, you’re immediately there for them to dish to.

You’ll hold their hand (or their hair if they’re yarfing in hysteria), trash-talk whichever jerk did something horrible, and then tell everyone in your social circle about the awful stuff you’re dealing with.

You might even “vaguebook” in a long social media rant, leaving out names but adding in pertinent info so anyone who knows the tormentor will tear them a new one.

Or, if the situation is particularly heinous, you may actively call them out in an online smear campaign.

After all, everyone should know what they did, right?

10. You Stir It Up

Two women against a red background, one with brown hair in a black top looking surprised with her mouth open and hands on her cheeks, and the other with blonde hair in a red dress leaning in to whisper in her ear.

Chances are you don’t like spending much time alone, especially if things get too quiet.

You’re not comfortable with your own company, your own thoughts, and if you are stuck alone for a while, you’ll likely be listening to music or watching TV the whole time to distract yourself.

You may get edgy when things are too calm, so if things have softened in your world, you might start some drama solely for the adrenaline rush and comfortable feeling of being engaged in a maelstrom.

You might pick a fight with your partner, or share a bit of juicy gossip that was meant to stay secret, then make some popcorn and sit back to watch everything go to hell.

Finally…

Two women sit on the floor by a window, engaged in an intense conversation. The woman on the left raises her hand as if to stop the other, looking concerned. The woman on the right gestures with both hands, appearing distressed. Two coffee cups sit on the table nearby.

If any of these traits resonate with you, it might be time to do some serious soul-searching as to why.

No one truly likes drama. It’s soul-sucking and exhausting, and life can be challenging enough without so-called friends being critical, manipulative drama llamas just to quell their own boredom.

Stop following celebrity gossip. When you spend time with your friends, leave your phone in your bag and actually pay attention to what they’re saying.

Talk about things that really matter, not who dared to wear what item of clothing to what social function, or who’s sleeping with whom.

If you’re feeling brave enough, do some deep soul-searching and try to figure out what you’re running away from, that you need to keep yourself occupied with so much drama all the time.

In searching for that, you may find out some amazing truths, and rework your life in a way that truly embodies who you are.

And that is a beautiful thing indeed.

*Don’t read the comments, seriously. They are always awful.

About The Author

Catherine Winter is an herbalist, INTJ empath, narcissistic abuse survivor, and PTSD warrior currently based in Quebec's Laurentian mountains. In an informal role as confidant and guide, Catherine has helped countless people work through difficult times in their lives and relationships, including divorce, ageing and death journeys, grief, abuse, and trauma recovery, as they navigate their individual paths towards healing and personal peace.