8 Reasons Why Arguing Is Actually A Good Thing In A Relationship

Is arguing healthy in a relationship?

A woman sitting on a couch raises her hand to signal stop, turning her head away from a man who appears to be talking to her. She looks upset, while the man, wearing a yellow shirt, gestures with his hands, seemingly trying to explain or communicate something.

Conflict needn’t be a dirty word when it comes to relationships.

Indeed, some frank exchanges of opinions can be healthy.

Let’s take a deeper look at some of the reasons why couples who argue can actually be happier than those who shy away from any conflict.

1. It forges mutual respect.

A man with short brown hair and a white shirt stands outdoors with his arms open, appearing to speak to a woman with long, blonde hair facing away from the camera. They are in a park-like setting, with trees and greenery in the background.

It’s totally fine that your views differ.

Airing these contradictions means that you gain a better understanding of each other’s perspective. This broadens your mutual horizons.

Love will blossom if each of you is capable of listening to a different opinion without getting upset or angry or insisting on getting your own counter argument across.

Love is all about mutual respect and how you treat each other.

2. It makes your relationship stronger.

A woman with a concerned expression looks right while a man with crossed arms sits on a bed in the background. Both appear to be in a bedroom setting, and the focus is on the woman's face, suggesting a tense or serious moment between them.

If your relationship struggles to survive arguments, the indicators are all pointing to a lack of real love.

Sorry, but it’s true.

You should be able to open up completely with your partner and say exactly what’s on your mind.

If you’re able to do that, your relationship will be more likely to stand the test of time and all the ups and downs along the way.

If, on the other hand, you keep a tight hold on your true thoughts for fear of upsetting your partner, then sooner or later the strain will lead to a breakdown of the partnership.

3. It creates comfort in the strength of your partnership.

A woman with red curly hair sits at a table looking thoughtful, resting her head on her hand. A man stands behind her with his hands gently on her shoulders. Two glasses of orange juice with straws are in the foreground. They are in a casual, modern café.

The fact that you’re completely comfortable with your partner gives you the confidence of knowing that it’s okay to hold a polar opposite view.

It won’t automatically drive a wedge between you.

Neither of you has to pretend to be someone you’re not; you can both be true to yourselves.

This gives a feeling of great comfort and makes the relationship truly sustainable.

You’re both confident that voicing a difference of opinion is not going to spoil your partnership.

4. It gives freedom from fear.

A woman with a serious expression and crossed arms sits on a couch, turned away from a man who appears frustrated or upset. Both are dressed in casual clothing and are sitting in a living room with a light-colored, patterned wallpaper.

The fact that you argue is an indicator of the level of trust between you and your partner.

Where there is fear, there can never be true love.

If you refrain from voicing your true opinion because you know it will cause an argument, and this is done with a sense of dread or fear of the outcome, there is something fundamentally wrong with the balance in your relationship.

You need to feel completely confident that an argument won’t lead to a fight.

Healthy arguments with no fear of the consequences actually make healthy relationships.

5. It helps you learn more about each other.

A man and a woman are sitting on a couch engaged in a heated discussion. The woman, wearing a light blue shirt, looks frustrated with her hands raised. The man, in a white t-shirt, also has his hands up, appearing to explain or argue back.

Have you ever thought that each and every argument actually offers a deeper insight into the inner workings of your partner’s mind?

These revelations present a great opportunity for you to learn something new and maybe even change your own long-held opinion on a topic in the light of that discovery.

If that doesn’t happen – and it won’t happen that often! – then at the very least you’ve learned more about each other and you’ve each had the opportunity to explain or defend your point of view, which can be truly enlightening.

6. It means there is no need for secrecy.

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white top and pink pants, sits on a couch gesturing with her hands up, looking distressed. She is talking to a man with short hair wearing a light blue shirt and beige pants, who is facing her with his back to the camera.

The bottom line is that the more you argue, the less chance there is for information to be withheld and one or other party having secrets.

The deeper the argument goes, and the more probing the discussion, the better you will understand the complexities of your partner’s character.

A deep and thorough mutual understanding is essential if you’re going to negotiate life’s ups and downs together.

7. It helps prevent boredom and complacency.

A woman with blonde hair wearing a striped shirt sits at the edge of a bed, looking distressed and holding her forehead. In the background, a man with dark hair leans back, propped up on the bed, appearing to be in a reflective or troubled state.

One thing’s for sure: a balanced relationship where both parties feel able to express their true feelings goes a long way to preventing the boredom of ‘same-old, same-old’ setting in.

It’s also the case that such a relationship allows fresh ideas – no matter how off the wall and ‘alternative’ – to be aired without fear of ridicule or rejection.

This is very healthy and anything but dull. Arguments breed passion and that’s never, ever boring!

So, Is Arguing Healthy…?

A man and a woman are arguing indoors. The man, wearing a white shirt, gestures with his hands while speaking. The woman, with red hair, stands with her arms crossed and appears upset. They are in a modern room with wooden and glass elements.

All in all, couples who don’t bury their disagreements, but face them and work through them, are likely to be stronger than couples who don’t.

Yet, it’s not actually the arguing that increases the strength of their bond – although that’s clearly a part of it – it’s the making up afterwards.

There’s a dawning realization that your relationship is more important than your differences.

The resolution of a disagreement involves both acceptance of mistakes and also forgiveness.

Each time you fight, you gain some new insight into your partner, making ever stronger connections and a deeper mutual understanding.

What’s very important is that you’re not fighting but arguing.

There’s no combat involved in arguing – both parties get to air their points of view without voices being raised and without any name-calling and finger-pointing.

As my grandmother used to say, “Don’t raise your voice. Improve your argument.”

This is the best counsel I’ve ever received when it comes to resolving differences of opinion, whether with my nearest and dearest or pretty much anyone.

The best advice I can offer by way of conclusion is that real relationships aren’t perfect and perfect relationships aren’t real.

Coexisting without having differences of opinion is impossible.

Many counselors agree that if a couple say they don’t argue, something is definitely not right in the relationship.

There’s a chance that one of them (or both) is just bottling everything up, and that will ultimately result in unhappiness.

And the answer to the original question, “Is arguing healthy in a relationship?”

Yes, although it’s not the most productive way of sharing problems, arguing in relationships most definitely can be healthy for all the reasons discussed above.