5 Signs You're In A Situationship (And What Does It Even Mean?)

What is a situationship?

A woman in a red off-the-shoulder top smiles at the camera while being playfully pulled forward by a man in a blue shirt and green shorts in an outdoor setting with trees and greenery.

This is a tricky one when it comes to an exact definition, as all relationships and interactions are so personal to those involved.

In general, though, it describes that weird limbo when you’re with someone but not really with them.

…you’re dating and you’re together, you’re just not together-together.

…you might be exclusive, but you’re not putting labels on it.

…there are feelings involved, but they’ve not been discussed.

…you’re not thinking of breaking up, but you’ve also not talked about a future together.

Confused? Us too!

These are a few signs you should be looking out for…

1. It’s convenient. For them.

A man and a woman are sitting on a park bench. The man, wearing a light blue shirt and shorts, is looking at the woman. The woman, in a white blouse and denim shorts, is smiling and holding a smartphone. A white bicycle is parked next to the bench.

Often, situationships favor one person more than the other.

They can be mutually beneficial, but they’re quite often more suitable for one person and, if you’re reading this, you’re probably not that person.

For some people, they offer the intimacies of relationships without the pressure of commitment.

That can be the ideal situation for someone who enjoys being with someone, but doesn’t want to play the field.

They might be happy being with just one person without having to put labels on anything.

2. There are no labels.

A man and woman sit at a cafe table, the man looking at his smartphone while the woman smiles at him. The woman has long hair and is wearing a beige coat, and the man is wearing a black leather jacket. There are cups on the table.

Absolutely none.

This isn’t always a sign of how the two people feel about each other, as there can be strong feelings and intimacy involved despite the seeming lack of commitment.

You might not refer to each other as ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend,’ but it’s implied.

3. Your personal lives aren’t really linked.

A man and woman smile at each other as they walk arm in arm down a tree-lined path in a park. The woman wears a red dress and sandals, and the man wears a light blue shirt over a white t-shirt with beige shorts and red sneakers. The park is lush and green.

This tends to happen in the early days of dating anyway, as it can be hard to judge when you really bring someone into your life.

You still spend time together and enjoy hanging out, you’re just not embedded in the other’s social life.

This doesn’t mean they don’t want to introduce you to their friends or family, it might just mean it’s not the right time yet.

4. You’re at a standstill.

A young man and woman stand next to a brick wall, both wearing white tops. The woman, with silver hair, leans on the man's shoulder while looking into the distance. The man, with short dark hair, looks towards her with a neutral expression.

Essentially, you’re not talking about breaking up, but you’re also not discussing the future.

Again, we’re back to that limbo!

The impact of this really varies between people, as some find it really hard to deal with and others are happy taking it day by day.

Again, this isn’t always reflective of how you feel about each other; it’s just how things are.

5. It’s closed, but open.

A couple is sitting on a couch in a cozy, modern living room. The man, with short brown hair and a beard, looks contemplatively at the camera, while the woman, with long dark hair, smiles and wraps her arms around him. There are books and plants in the background.

You’re not seeing other people, but you’re also not really going on actual dates with each other.

It might be that you only see each other at night or when you’re both a bit bored and at a loss for other plans.

This can be convenient for both of you, of course, but it’s a sign that you’re not single, but also not coupled up!

Is it really what you want?

A man and woman enjoy a sunny day outdoors. The man is wearing sunglasses and smiling, while the woman, dressed in a light brown cardigan over a white top, holds a red cup and laughs. The background shows greenery and a clear blue sky.

Now that you’ve established that you’re in a situationship, it’s time to work out how you feel about it.

It might be that you’re already aware of the situation, or you might have just had a moment of realization!

It’s important to note that this isn’t automatically negative and isn’t always the end destination of your relationship with someone.

This limbo stage happens in a lot of relationships during the slightly awkward beginning bit.

You need to work out if you’re happy with the way things are or if you want it to progress to something more.

A lot of people are very happy with the kind of casual commitment that situationships can offer.

You get the nice bits (holding hands, cute text messages, and the fun of spending time with someone) without the actual commitment or pressure of being ‘together.’

For some people, this is more than enough and there’s no need or desire for it to be any more.

This is similar to holiday flings – there’s a level of intimacy, but neither of you are putting pressure on it to be anything more.

For others, this stage can be very unfulfilling and can actually be anxiety-inducing.

If you’re hoping that things will progress into a relationship, the waiting period can be really tricky.

You don’t know where you stand, you’re not sure what the boundaries are (can you hold hands in public and how do you introduce them if you run into people you know?!), and you’re left feeling a bit unstable.

You might be wondering why they don’t want to make things official with you, but you’re trying to play it cool and not be ‘that girl/ guy’ who rushes things and puts the pressure on too soon!