6 Questionable Behaviors That May Or May Not Be Cheating

Decide between you and your partner if these things count as cheating.

A group of people are dancing at a lively party with colorful lights in the background. At the center, a smiling woman in a pink velvet top dances closely with a man behind her. Others around them are also enjoying the music and atmosphere.

Are you a little confused as to where the line is when it comes to cheating?

Whether you’re in a relationship now or hope to be in one in the future, you need to make sure you get that line firmly drawn as early on as possible…

…for the sake of everyone involved.

Being clear on what’s considered cheating and what’s not from the get-go can save a whole load of heartache.

In a lot of cases, it’s not what you actually do, but what your underlying intentions are.

Some people may consider these things as cheating, others may not. It’s up to you and your partner to decide how you feel about them.

1. Flirting

A woman in a gray checkered apron leans on a counter and speaks with a smiling man in a white t-shirt. They are at a bar or café, with glasses, bar tools, and wooden shelves in the background. The atmosphere appears relaxed and friendly.

A little bit of innocent flirting shouldn’t be a big deal, and lots of us flirt unconsciously…

…even if we’re not attracted to the person in question.

For that matter, we can even be flirtatious with members of the same gender, for all kinds of reasons.

Whilst just plain flirting with no ulterior motives can’t be defined as cheating, there are some circumstances in which someone would have the right to be upset or angry about their partner’s behavior.

If you’re deliberately flirting with someone you fancy (that’s not your partner) in an attempt to get them to take a physical or romantic interest in you, that isn’t a good sign.

It doesn’t even matter whether or not you intend to actually go through with anything.

Similarly, if you find yourself flirting with someone that you’re aware has an interest in you in order to encourage them, whether or not you like them back, then you’re betraying the trust of your partner.

Whilst we can sometimes judge these situations poorly, your conscience will generally let you know if you’ve behaved in a way you shouldn’t.

2. Texting

A man with short dark hair and a beard is smiling at his smartphone while typing on it. He is wearing a light green button-up shirt over a white t-shirt and a smartwatch on his left wrist. The background is a solid bright blue.

This category can cover all manner of sins.

You are, of course, quite within your rights to text whoever you want…

…and if you find that your partner makes unreasonable demands that you cut off contact with a friend or an ex who’s now a friend, then you need to consider carefully whether they are overly controlling, and whether the relationship is healthy.

They definitely shouldn’t be going through your phone or demanding to read your messages.

That’s what trust is all about.

However, if you have messages on your phone that you wouldn’t want your partner to see, or messages that you feel guilty about, then you’re moving into dangerous territory.

As is the case with flirting, no matter how much you might try to ignore the niggling feelings, you’ll always know deep down whether who and what you’re texting is a betrayal of trust.

3. Doing your special thing

A woman and a man sit on a beige couch in a cozy living room, watching TV. The man is holding a remote control and a bowl of potato chips. There are two standing lamps beside them, and various pieces of art on the wall. They both appear relaxed and focused.

Every couple has their own rituals and their own special activities which they only do together, just the two of them.

Therefore, there are certain things that some people would never even associate with cheating that for others could be the ultimate betrayal.

Even someone who’s in a polyamorous relationship, for example, might be fine with their partner kissing or sleeping with someone else, but would feel cheated on if their partner watched the next episode of their favorite TV series with another person.

If there’s anything that the two of you always do together as a way of strengthening your bond, then be wary about doing it with anyone else.

4. Dancing

Group of young adults dancing energetically in a dimly lit, colorful room with vibrant light trails. A woman in a red dress and a man in a black shirt are in the foreground, smiling and raising their arms. The atmosphere is lively and festive.

I think we can all agree that an innocent dance with someone else isn’t cheating.

If your partner likes salsa dancing, for example, then you’re just going to have to get used to the fact they will often be dancing with multiple people.

But even within dancing, there is a line.

Some people are terrible at judging this, but if someone asks you to dance, you can generally tell whether their intentions are innocent or if they have ulterior motives.

It’s all about trusting your judgement, and also knowing that your partner has faith in you, and won’t get angry if you thought it was innocent but suddenly realize your dance partner has other ideas in mind.

Grinding, on the other hand, is a fairly blatant sign that bedroom action could potentially be on the cards.

You might dance a bit provocatively when you’re messing around with your friends just for a laugh, but if there’s a suggestive element to it, then it could be argued to be a mild form of cheating.

5. Holding hands

Two people are holding hands outdoors. One person wears a white skirt, and the other wears blue jeans. The background features greenery and is bathed in soft sunlight. The focus is on their clasped hands, symbolizing connection and affection.

Many couples enjoy interlocking their fingers and holding hands in a sign of togetherness…

..and because it feels nice to have a physical connection with your partner.

But some people like to hold hands with others too, and it doesn’t have to have any special meaning to it.

Platonic friends of all genders can hold hands quite innocently. It might even be for practical reasons such as feeling safe whilst walking at night.

You once again have to return to the question of intent and how you feel when you hold hands with someone.

If you are doing so to display romantic feelings, it’s probably not going to go down too well with your partner.

6. Hugging

A young woman with long brown hair hugs a man with short brown hair in an outdoor setting. She is smiling broadly and wearing a brown jacket, while the man is dressed in a dark-colored jacket. The background is blurred, suggesting a busy street scene.

Hugging someone else doesn’t count as cheating in itself.

Hugging is a natural human action that helps us to build bonds with the people that are important to us.

At its most basic level, it is something you should be free to do with anyone you want to.

However, if a hug continues longer than is necessary and you are pulling together in a tight embrace that symbolizes a more intimate physical attraction, it could be lightly classed as cheating of sorts.