If You Tolerate Any Of These 10 Behaviors, You Need To Stand Up For Yourself

Learn to stand up for yourself in these situations.

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There are certain behaviors that you shouldn’t tolerate. When you tolerate these behaviors you are subconsciously telling people that you are okay with being treated that way. That often leads to much larger problems because then people aren’t compelled to respect you.

Standing up for yourself isn’t just about protecting yourself from bullies and toxic people. It’s also about teaching other people how you want to be treated so you can feel safe and comfortable when you’re with them.

So, you need to start standing up for yourself if you are experiencing any of these ten things…

1. Disrespectful actions or attitudes.

A woman in a business suit stands in an office, pointing her finger and appearing agitated while speaking to a man whose back is turned to the camera. Various office furniture and equipment, including desks and chairs, are visible in the background.

Respect should be the baseline at which we treat each other. There is some confusion about the word respect, however. It has two definitions. One is to hold someone in high esteem and look up to them. The other is to not treat one as a lesser. You cannot force someone to hold you in high-esteem. However, you can force someone to not treat you as a lesser by standing up for yourself, whether verbally or by physically removing yourself from the situation.

2. Bullying or other actions designed to make you feel small.

A woman with shoulder-length hair wearing a black and white striped shirt is standing against an orange background. She has her right hand raised to her forehead, forming an "L" shape with her fingers, and is making a disappointed or disapproving expression.

Bullying comes in many forms, including verbal, physical, and cyberbullying. If you don’t address it immediately, it will get worse and take a toll on your mental health. Unfortunately, not every adult is much of an adult. You may run into bullying anywhere from your friend circle to your workplace. It’s always worse in the workplace because you may have to tolerate it until you can find another job.

3. Unfair and unequal treatment.

Two business professionals sit in the back seat of a car, both holding coffee cups. They are engaged in a serious conversation. The woman is writing in a notebook and the man is gesturing with his hand. They are both dressed in business attire and wearing glasses.

It doesn’t matter the setting, you cannot allow other people to treat you unfairly or unequally. Sometimes this can happen by accident. If you aren’t the kind of person to speak up for yourself, then the other person may just be surprised when they hear how you feel and hopefully correct their behavior. However, sometimes it’s more complicated than that. Unfair treatment in the workplace may require reporting to a regulatory body if you are being singled out.

4. Emotional, physical, or mental abuse.

A close-up of a woman covering her ears with her hands, looking distressed and facing away. Behind her, a man is shouting aggressively, with his mouth wide open. Both are indoors with a neutral background. The scene conveys a sense of conflict and emotional distress.

Abuse of any kind is unacceptable and should be reported in any situation where there is someone to report it to. However, in your personal life, it will be up to you to remove yourself from a situation where abuse may be a factor. If you can’t totally cut ties, then it may be a better option to lower the amount of time you spend with someone who is abusive. Sometimes no-contact just isn’t possible but you still need to keep yourself as well and healthy as you can.

5. Manipulation and manipulative behaviors.

A man with a serious expression is depicted with a large hand holding marionette strings in front of his face, making him appear controlled like a puppet. The image combines elements of portraiture and surrealism, suggesting themes of manipulation and control.

Manipulation may be direct or indirect. Sometimes it may be a direct lie. Other times it may be someone is feeding others misinformation or leaving information out. Whatever the case, you need to learn to recognize and resist manipulative tactics. It can be difficult because skilled manipulators are good at hiding what they do. It’s not always in your best interest to openly confront them because they may have the other people around you fooled. Still, you can recognize the manipulation and not allow yourself to fall for it.

6. Other people neglecting your needs.

A blonde woman with curly hair looks pensive, gazing to the side with her hands touching her head. In the background, a man with short dark hair appears out of focus, his expression indistinct. The setting seems to be outdoors.

You deserve to have your needs met like anyone else. However, other people may not be aware of your needs. In a healthy situation, they will want to hear you and make accommodations so you can have your needs met. In an unhealthy situation, they may either ignore you or make promises they have no intention of fulfilling. Either way, you need to be the one to stand up and speak for yourself if you feel your needs aren’t being met.

7. Other people overstepping your boundaries.

A woman with long hair sits cross-legged on a wooden floor against a plain white wall. She is wearing a denim jacket, jeans, and an orange top, with one hand raised in a stop gesture, her expression serious, conveying a clear message to halt or stop.

Boundaries are good and healthy. Unhealthy people will try to intrude on them or make you feel as though your boundaries aren’t important. Healthy people may not realize where your boundaries are unless you speak up for yourself. Don’t let people overstep your boundaries, but do expect to need to talk about them and explain what and where you draw your lines.

8. Negativity, toxicity, and drama.

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There are some people who simply cannot avoid drama and toxicity. They are either the cause of or adjacent to it. Some people enjoy the action and all the fallout that goes along with it. It will negatively affect you if you do not take steps to either create boundaries or remove yourself from the situation altogether. Do not let yourself be the battery for an emotional vampire who just wants to bring misery into your life.

9. Overworking.

A person with curly hair, wearing a striped shirt, is looking up thoughtfully while sitting at a desk with an open laptop. The office environment around them is dimly lit, suggesting it's evening or night outside the window.

Employers aren’t always the best at not taking advantage of their employees. They may do things like expect you to work off the clock or just keep heaping responsibilities onto your shoulders. There is a management strategy that’s all too common today called “lean staffing.” That is, operating with the absolute minimum number of employees as they can, while under-hiring and overworking the employees they do have. Be aware of it and speak up if you’re being overworked.

10. Infringement of your rights.

Two people are sitting at a table having a discussion. The woman, with curly hair pulled back, is listening attentively with her hands clasped. The man, wearing glasses and holding a pen, is speaking to her. Papers and a mug are on the table.

Know your rights and don’t let anyone step on them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a personal or professional context, no one should be allowed to limit or take away your rights that you are otherwise entitled to. Make good use of that employee handbook so you understand what the processes for your job are. Know labor laws, or other relevant laws for activities where they may be relevant. The only thing that many people in power fear are repercussions for their actions.

This is important.

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Everyone needs to have the capacity to stand up for themselves. It is highly unlikely that anyone is going to do it for you. Sometimes, they will. But most of the time you will need to do it for yourself. Look at your situation, decide what will best make you feel respected, and speak out if it is safe to do so.