12 Reasons Many Older People Now Choose To Remain Alone

Why are more and more old people choosing to live alone?

A smiling man in a light gray sweater leans on the railing of a bridge. The bridge structure is visible behind him, and there is a scenic view with greenery and water in the background. The sky is slightly overcast.

In previous generations, remaining single — either after divorce or widowhood, or even by choice — was almost unheard of. Most of our ancestors were together forever, or remarried if they found themselves alone. So why are so many older people choosing to go through life solo, rather than attached? Let’s take a look.

1. They’ve had unpleasant experiences in the past.

A senior woman with white hair in a white shirt appears contemplative, holding her head with one hand. A senior man with gray hair in a blue shirt sits in the background, looking away. Both appear to be deep in thought or having a disagreement.

People who have had abusive or otherwise unpleasant relationships in the past may choose not to partner up again. Similarly, those who grew up with parents who hated each other may prefer to remain single. If their past experiences were awful, why would they go down that road again?

2. Their career comes first.

A man wearing a blue button-up shirt stands outside a modern building with large windows, smiling with his arms crossed. The background includes green foliage along the building's exterior. The scene is bright and appears to be a sunny day.

This can apply whether someone has chosen to remain single, or if they are divorced/widowed. In most cases, one’s academic or professional career has to take a backseat in a relationship. For those who place achievement and advancement before emotional attachment, a fulfilling career or academic immersion is more important than a partnership.

3. They have a rich social life as it is.

Three senior women smiling and posing together outdoors. The woman on the left has white hair and is wearing a yellow jacket, the woman in the middle has dark hair and a white top, and the woman on the right has blond hair, glasses, and a blue blouse.

Many people choose to put their time and energy into their social circles rather than towards a partner. They like to spend time with their friends, help to take care of extended family members, and get involved with community or volunteer work. These activities fulfill their social needs accordingly.

4. They want to live life on their own terms.

A smiling older man with short gray hair and wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans sits on a gray sofa. He has one arm resting on the back of the sofa and the other on his knee. The background shows a bright kitchen with white cabinets.

When one has a partner, everything is a compromise. This includes what time they go to bed, what they eat, what their home decor looks like, and so on. If a person remains single, however, they have complete autonomy over their life decisions, without having to explain or justify them to anyone.

5. They enjoy solitude.

A smiling woman with short, blonde hair and wearing a white blouse is standing outdoors in a sunny park. The blurred background features green grass and trees, suggesting a serene and pleasant environment.

Introverts, and others who value a lot of alone time, often choose to remain single rather than sharing their life and home with another. By doing so, they can immerse themselves in their favorite pursuits without the risk of constant interruption, nor demands for their time when they don’t feel like socializing.

6. Lack of interest in physical intimacy.

A smiling older man with short gray hair wears a blue and white checkered shirt. He is sitting indoors on a light-colored couch with a brown cushion and a table lamp in the background. The lighting is warm and natural.

Many people lose interest in physical intimacy as they age. Although this often happens with women during and after menopause, a lot of men’s libidos wane with age as well. Since physical intimacy is generally an expectation in relationships, those who can’t be bothered anymore often choose singlehood instead.

7. Freedom to travel as they like.

A smiling person with gray hair wearing a light purple bucket hat, eyeglasses, a white t-shirt, and a red backpack stands against a pink background, pointing to their t-shirt with both hands.

Most people in relationships don’t get to travel when and how they’d like to. Everything has to be a compromise when one has a partner, so holidays and adventures have to cater to two people instead of just one. When a person is single, they can go where they like, whenever they like.

8. They don’t want any kind of family drama.

Four people gather in a bright kitchen. A young man is using a tablet while a young woman works on a laptop. An older woman stands between the two, engaged in conversation with expressive hand gestures. An older man stands near the counter, observing.

A person who has raised a family already — or has chosen not to have children — may not want to get enmeshed into someone else’s family life. They’re content with the life they’re living and don’t necessarily want to be a “bonus” parent, grandparent, or similar in another family dynamic.

9. There’s a noted lack of suitable potential partners.

A confident woman with long gray hair stands against a textured stone wall. She is wearing a brown leather jacket over a black turtleneck and plaid pants, with her arms crossed and a serious expression on her face.

The dating pool gets quite shallow as we age, and there are significantly fewer choices for single older people than there are for those in their twenties. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but if they’re all unappealing, then choosing singlehood is usually the more attractive option.

10. They want to focus on themselves.

A smiling woman with long blonde hair is standing outdoors in front of a brick wall with green vines. She is wearing a white lace top and has a joyful expression.

This often happens when a person has had to be a caregiver for a long period of time, whether for children, elderly parents, or sickly partners. They spent so much time pouring energy into others while putting their own needs on the back burner, that they want to make themselves the priority now.

11. They need to do some solitary soul searching.

An older man with a gray beard and mustache is seated indoors, wearing a light blue checkered shirt. He looks thoughtfully off to the side with his hand resting on his face. The background features a wooden shelving unit and blurred greenery.

This involves getting to know who they are beyond the roles they’ve played in others’ lives. If they don’t have a strong sense of self, then this is their opportunity to figure themselves out. Maybe they’ll spend a few years at a monastery in Tibet, or perhaps do a ton of therapy and journaling.

12. It’s simply easier to be alone.

An older woman with short gray hair stands against a gray background, smiling confidently with her arms crossed. She is wearing a gray sweater, red earrings, and a matching red necklace.

Life is generally easier, calmer, and less stressful when one is alone, without contending with others’ demands, interruptions, dirty laundry, or snoring, not to mention having to remind them of appointments, medication schedules, and other responsibilities. If financial constraints aren’t an issue, then solitude is seen by many as the most appealing option on the table.