If a man does any of these 12 things, he’s lying when he says “I love you”

Does he do any of these things while claiming to love you?

A man with a frustrated expression is standing in a kitchen, gesturing with his hands. A woman with a downcast expression sits at a table in the foreground, leaning her head on one hand. The scene suggests they are having a disagreement.

Actions speak much louder than words. If someone’s actions don’t reflect what they’ve been saying, then that’s a discrepancy that needs to be paid attention to. If your man has been doing any of the 12 things listed below, then he’s lying when he says he loves you.

1. He’s often cruel, but dismisses things as being “just a joke”.

A man and woman are having an intense conversation in a bright kitchen. The woman, with a concerned expression, has her hands on her head. The man speaks to her gesturing with his hand. Various kitchen appliances and items are visible in the background.

Having a shared sense of humor is vital, but if he’s constantly being malicious to get a reaction out of you and amuse himself, and then gaslighting you to make it seem that you’re overreacting to the “silly little jokes” he’s been making, then it’s clear that he doesn’t love you.

2. He prioritizes his own needs and puts yours a distant second.

A golfer wearing a white cap, blue polo shirt, and white pants is swinging a golf club in a green, well-maintained golf course. Sand is flying up from the sand trap, suggesting he is hitting the ball out of a bunker. Trees are visible in the background.

Everything that’s important to him is a priority, but your needs are simply annoying and insignificant and aren’t worthy of his time or effort. If you try to express to him that your needs aren’t being met, he’ll imply that you’re overly needy and selfish, and bring the attention back to himself.

3. He interrupts you constantly and doesn’t listen to you.

A man and woman sitting at a table with cups and cookies in front of them. The man is talking animatedly with hand gestures while the woman rests her head on her hand, appearing uninterested or bored. The setting is a kitchen with appliances and fruit in the background.

He doesn’t listen to what you have to say, and he’ll cut you off mid-sentence or talk right over you—whether you’re alone or in company. Essentially, he doesn’t respect you enough to permit you to speak unless he asks you a direct question, and, even then, the answer had better be brief.

4. He belittles you in front of other people.

A man and woman sit on a bed in a bedroom. The woman, looking upset, has her arms crossed and is facing away from the man. The man is gesturing with one hand and appears to be explaining or arguing with her. Both are casually dressed in jeans and sweaters.

He finds it amusing to put you down with little cutting remarks and insults when you’re out with other people. Maybe he mocks your ideas when you offer them, undermines your advice, or he might even insult your appearance to try to get a laugh out of those around you.

5. He attempts to turn you into a servant at every opportunity.

A man with a beard sits at a kitchen table holding a fork and spoon, looking up in anticipation, with an empty plate in front of him. In the background, a woman with long hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans, is busy at the kitchen counter.

He doesn’t do an equal share of chores and responsibilities but perpetually adds to your burden. It’s far too much of an effort for him to go get his own drink from the kitchen, let alone wash dishes that he’s used, or put away food after he’s eaten his share. That’s your job.

6. He dismisses your concerns, even when they’re valid.

A man and woman are sitting at a table near a window, having a conversation. The man gestures with his hands, while the woman looks at him, holding a phone. On the table are two mugs, a plate with cookies, and a plate with toast and jam.

Anything you think or feel is dismissed as an overreaction, even if those thoughts or feelings are perfectly valid. You may know without a doubt that your child or parent is severely ill, and he’ll just tell you that you’re fussing too much or imply that you’re mentally unstable for thinking that way.

7. He makes it clear that your interests mean nothing to him.

A man and woman walk outdoors with foliage in the background. The man, in a white shirt, has dark hair pulled back and a beard. The woman, in a white lace top, has long dark hair. The focus is on the woman’s profile, with the man slightly blurred in the background.

He tells you often that he doesn’t care about anything you’re passionate about and will change the subject or walk away if you have the audacity to mention anything that brings you joy. Unless you’re talking about something he finds important, he’s not interested and doesn’t want to hear about it.

8. He tries to make you into something you’re not.

A woman sits at a table with a displeased expression, holding her head with both hands. A man beside her is gesturing with one hand, appearing to be upset or arguing. On the table are a teapot with a pink cozy, cups, and croissants. A shelf with items is seen in the background.

Instead of appreciating you for who you are, he keeps trying to adjust you to better suit his preferences. You should try this thing he’s into, change your hair to a style or color he prefers, stop wearing that outfit he hates despite the fact that you love it, and so on.

9. He makes sure you know that you’re last on the totem pole in his world.

A man and an older woman, possibly family members, embrace happily while sitting at a wooden table with two green cups and a plate of food in the foreground. The setting is cozy and homey, with a round mirror and some framed pictures on the wall in the background.

He has made it abundantly clear to you that his friends, family, and dog are all a higher priority in his life than you’ll ever be. Furthermore, he may imply that you’re lucky to be with him, since nobody else would ever want you, so you should show more gratitude.

10. All that’s yours is his, but not vice versa.

A man wearing glasses and a white t-shirt is raising his arms and shouting at a woman with long hair and glasses, who is sitting at a table with a plate of croissants. An open laptop and a bowl of fruit are also on the table.

Your income is “a shared wallet” for both personal and household expenses, but his earnings are his and his alone, you gold digger. Similarly, your belongings are up for grabs whenever they may be needed (tools, toiletries, food), but he’ll become enraged if you touch or use anything of his.

11. He doesn’t keep his word.

A man and woman are sitting on a couch in a heated discussion. The man, wearing glasses and a checkered shirt, gestures passionately with his hands and has an angry expression. The woman, in a green sweater and jeans, gestures back, looking distressed.

He’ll agree to something in the moment in order to resolve an exchange that he finds tedious, but will then use his temper, excuses, or other priorities to justify why he can’t keep his word to you. He may have been promising you something for years, but you know it’ll never happen.

12. He hits you.

A woman with long dark hair and a concerned expression is turning away and raising her hands defensively as a man in a peach-colored shirt and gray pants stands behind her with his fists clenched. They appear to be in a domestic setting.

This is last on the list not because it’s the lowest priority, but because it needs to be remembered. If he’s ever physically violent towards you, that isn’t love—no matter how often he apologizes. There are many organizations that can help you, so please seek help as soon as possible.