12 Things Narcissists Do When They’re Alone And No One’s Watching

A narcissist’s alone time is spent doing these things.

A close-up of a man with brown hair and a beard wearing round glasses and a serious expression. He has a contemplative look in his eyes and is dressed in a dark shirt, with a blurred neutral background.

You’re probably familiar with the ways that narcissists behave towards both their victims and the social circles they’re eager to be part of, but what do they do when they’re alone? Let’s take a look at 12 behaviors that narcissists participate in when there’s nobody else around.

1. They distract themselves however they can.

Man with medium-length dark hair and a beard wearing a white shirt, black tie, and black suspenders looks at the camera. The background is bright with windows and a blurred cityscape.

Narcissists generally don’t do well when they’re alone because they need constant energy and attention from others. When they find themselves in a solitary situation, they’ll distract themselves by any means necessary. Some might binge-watch shows, while others play video games or scroll on their phones for hours.

2. They check on their exes by stalking their social media accounts.

A woman with long red hair is standing on a paved path in a park, holding a purple smartphone in both hands. She is wearing a light-colored jacket and looking directly at the camera. Trees and greenery are visible in the background.

If the narcissist is in the process of devaluing their current partner, they may check on their exes for an attention fix. If any of those exes look particularly good, or seem to be doing well, the narcissist may cast a line to see if there’s a chance to hoover them back in.

3. They talk on the phone with whoever’s around.

A man with short dark hair sits at a wooden table in a cafe, talking on his smartphone. He is wearing a white shirt with a blue pattern and several bracelets on his wrist. A white coffee cup and saucer are in front of him, and the street is visible through the window.

If they can’t spend time with people face to face, many narcissists go through their contact lists to see who’s available for a phone or video chat. This allows them to get the interactions and validation they crave, even if nobody is available to fuss over them in person.

4. They indulge in preferred substances.

A man in a blue blazer and sunglasses is sitting on a yellow couch, sipping a drink from a glass. He has dark hair slicked back and is wearing light-colored pants. The background shows a bright window with an urban exterior scene.

If a narcissist is cut off from any type of emotional energy supply, i.e. if they’ve alienated their “friend” groups and any potential partners, they may over-indulge in drugs and/or alcohol. Essentially, they’re getting a fix from stimulants other than their victims’ time, attention, and emotional energy.

5. They seek out new targets to fixate upon.

Narcissists don’t do well when they don’t have human batteries around to feed from. As such, if they feel that their pond is getting depleted, they use the opportunity that solitude provides to seek out new targets. These may be potential lovers, new job opportunities, or social circles they’d like to infiltrate.

6. They immerse in research to attract and seduce those potential targets.

A woman with wavy brown hair and green eyes is intently looking at something off-camera. She is wearing a green sleeveless top and a silver hoop earring. Her hand is raised to about chin level, with her index finger pointing outward. The background is blurred.

Once a narcissist has a new victim in their sights, they need to arm themselves accordingly so they can weasel into that person’s life. This usually involves researching the target’s favorite subjects, foods, and personal preferences so the narcissist can remodel themselves into the perfect partner or friend for them.

7. They devote time to personal care and maintenance.

A young man with short dark hair and a light stubble is looking into a mirror, holding it with his right hand. His reflection in the mirror shows his pensive expression. He is wearing a white tank top and a gold chain necklace. The background is black.

Narcissists desperately need to be admired by others, and that requires them to maintain their physical forms as best they can. As a result, they often spend their alone time working out and tending to personal care and grooming, since they won’t do any of that in front of other people.

8. They put their energy towards a new obsession.

A bearded man with glasses and a serious expression holds his hands up to his face. His hands are covered in various colored paint smudges, and he wears a white shirt that is also stained with paint. The background is a neutral, blurred tone.

If a narcissist can’t feed the yawning hole inside them with other people’s energy, they may turn to obsession about a new topic. This could involve delving into minutiae about a particular topic, collecting memorabilia about a specific show or game, or learning all the techniques that exist for a new hobby.

9. They pick fights online.

A man in a hooded plaid shirt and jeans is sitting on a sofa with his legs extended on a wooden table. He is focused intently on a large laptop resting on his lap. Papers are scattered on the table beside him, and the background is a dark, plain wall.

Since narcissists thrive on both attention and a sense of superiority, they may use their alone time to pick fights with strangers online. They’ll head on over to Twitter or Reddit, pick apart people’s spelling or play devil’s advocate, and revel in the amusement they derive from muckraking and upsetting others.

10. They consume for comfort.

A man in a white t-shirt stands against a bright red background, holding a hamburger in one hand and wiping his mouth with the other. He has food stains on his shirt and an expression of delight while eating.

Depending on the narcissist, they may choose to stuff themselves with food and drink if they can’t find energetic or emotional sustenance. Many narcissists have limited palates and will overindulge in comfort foods they loved as children. As such, when lonely emptiness strikes, they’ll gorge on ice cream, pizza, and so on.

11. They wallow in self-pity.

A woman with dark hair tied back is gazing out of a window, resting her face on her hand. She appears thoughtful and pensive. The photo is taken through the glass, adding a soft, reflective quality to the image.

If a narcissist can’t get a new energy supply, and can’t get a fix from other stimuli, they’ll wallow in victimhood instead. They will dredge up every wrong — perceived or otherwise — that others have done to them and ruminate on how awful everybody has always been to them for no reason.

12. They plot ways to punish people for abandoning them.

A man in a dark suit and blue tie sits on a black leather sofa. He has neatly styled hair and a trimmed beard. The background is a brick wall with red and blue lighting creating a dramatic contrast. The man looks pensively to his left.

A narcissist who’s left alone will feel utterly abandoned and may punish those whom they feel have harmed them via neglect. As a result, they might report the person’s car or passport as stolen, accuse them of criminal behavior, and so on. Essentially, they’ll do whatever they feel will cause the most damage.