If You Recognize These 9 Behaviors, Your Partner Is A Liar

Is your partner lying to you?

A man and a woman stand side by side against a purple background. Both have their index fingers placed over their lips, signaling for silence. The man wears a red sweater, and the woman wears a coral long-sleeve top. Both have a serious expression.

When we lie, our behavior rats us out, even if we try to appear honest.

So, even if your spouse is very good at lying, you should still be able to tell that something’s off if you look for the following signs.

1. They answer with questions.

A man and a woman are sitting in a cafe, engaged in a conversation. The woman, wearing a yellow sweater, appears distressed or frustrated, with her hands raised to her face. The man, in a dark sweater, looks at her attentively. The background is decorated with shelves and plants.

A person who doesn’t want to give you an answer will ask you a question. It is a great way to distract you and at the same time stall long enough to think of a way to cover up their lies.

For instance, let’s say you ask your spouse, “Have you been having an affair?” They could answer with, “How could you think that I might be having an affair?” This avoids answering your question.

“No, of course I’m not having an affair” isn’t too hard to say if it is true.

If your partner tries to avoid answering your questions by asking you questions instead, request that they only give you yes or no answers.

If they still need time before answering, they are probably hiding something from you.

2. They give vague answers.

A man with glasses and a beard wearing a beige blazer is sitting at a cafe table outdoors, holding a cup of coffee. Across from him is a woman with blonde hair holding a cup. The table is adorned with a bouquet of flowers. A stone wall and string lights are in the background.

“Where were you?”

“I was out.”

“Who did you go out with?”

“Just some friends.”

When someone offers you very few details or none at all, they probably don’t want you to know everything.

While being unnecessarily specific can be a sign of lying too, if your spouse gives you nothing but vague answers, they are probably hiding something.

If you persist in trying to get them to answer with more details, they might make you believe that you’re crazy for being suspicious. Gaslighting is a type of manipulation when a person makes you question your judgment and reality. You shouldn’t tolerate it.

If your spouse is secretive about their life, there’s a big problem in your marriage that you have to address.

3. They use word-fillers and unnecessary specifics.

A man with short brown hair and a beard smiles at a woman with long brown hair in an outdoor setting. Both are dressed casually in green jackets, standing close together with trees and sunlight filtering through the background, creating a serene atmosphere.

Word fillers like “I mean” and “you know,” or even sounds, like “huh” and “umm,” are often used to buy time when you’re inventing a lie.

You are probably already aware of the specific word-fillers that your spouse uses in conversation. When they use them more often than usual, they might be trying to lie to you.

To know for sure, check if they also seem nervous, sweaty, tense, or fidgety. They might also use unnecessary specifics or talk more formally than usual.

For instance, the conversation mentioned before would go something like this: “Where were you?”

“I was in Jim’s Coffee Shop on Fifth Street. The coffee there is better than where we went for our anniversary.”

“Who did you go out with?”

“Mike from work wanted to tell me about his new car. He bought it just two weeks ago, and it already has a broken light. Can you imagine?”

Unless your spouse is always this specific when talking to you, this conversation seems very odd.

Additionally, people sometimes talk faster when they lie because they want to get it over with as soon as possible.

4. They take time before responding.

A man and woman sit at a cafe table, each with a cup of coffee. They are engaged in conversation, and the woman is smiling warmly while resting her head on her hand. The background shows a modern, minimalistic interior with shelves and a TV screen.

A lot of questions can be answered in a second, but when your spouse takes time before responding, they might be thinking about what to say.

When we lie, words don’t flow as smoothly, and we have to put effort into inventing and connecting them. We need more time to respond, especially when the question comes out of nowhere.

If you notice that your spouse makes obvious attempts to stall for time by taking unnecessary pauses before responding, they might be lying to you.

For instance, when you ask them “Were you at the mall?” they might slowly take off their shoes and jacket, check their phone, or drink something before responding “Yes.”

Unless this is followed by a convincing story that explains why they took time to respond, they were probably just making time to think of the right thing to say.

5. They stall the conversation.

A woman holding a cup and a plate with a croissant stands next to a bed while smiling at a man who is lying on the bed, using a laptop. The room is bright with natural light from a large window, and there are white walls and yellow curtains.

Your spouse might stall the conversation in many ways, any of which might indicate that they’re lying to you, especially if what you’re asking them isn’t hard to answer.

If you keep asking them follow-up questions, their answers will probably become vaguer the more you ask. It’s hard to think of so many lies at once and make sure that each lie is consistent with the initial lie.

Your spouse will probably become nervous and want to end the unpleasant conversation as soon as possible.

6. Their speech pattern changes.

A smiling woman and man sit close together on a couch. The woman, with long dark hair, wears a beige shirt and blue jeans. The man, with short dark hair and a beard, wears a grey polo shirt and blue jeans, holding a laptop. They gaze at each other affectionately.

It’s not easy to lie. Your spouse will probably use a higher pitch, make grammatical errors, stutter, or talk very fast. The pitch of your voice can also change due to nervousness and anxiety.

If your spouse gets nervous even though you asked them a simple question, there’s something going on that they’re not telling you.

Sometimes, people have innocent motives though, so look for more signs before assuming that your spouse wants to hurt you.

Depending on what the discussion is about, they might be trying to protect you from pain or save themselves from unnecessary embarrassment.

7. Their body language changes.

A young couple sits closely in an outdoor setting. The man, dressed in a white sweater, is turned towards the woman. The woman, with long hair, is wearing a black hat and a white sweater, and she gazes directly at the camera. The background is a field of tall grass.

Someone who is reluctant to share the truth with you probably won’t look you in the eyes. In addition, their body might show signs of stress.

They might rub their nose or eyes, cover their face, sweat, bite their lip, or maintain a smile even though their eyes aren’t smiling. They might blink more often, cross their arms or legs, or hide their hands in their pockets. Maybe they blush or frequently change their facial expression throughout the lie.

Ultimately, your spouse’s body language will be different than in a normal conversation. You will probably sense this difference, even if you’re not sure what exactly made you think that they were lying.

8. Their story keeps changing.

A woman sits on a couch, looking down and holding her temples with her fingers, appearing stressed. Next to her, a man in glasses and a blue sweater gestures with his hands and speaks, looking concerned. They are in a well-lit room with blurred background.

You can’t just repeat the same lie over and over again. One big lie requires a whole set of small lies that you invent to cover up the initial one. So, when someone lies, their story changes.

You can ask your spouse follow-up questions to make them reveal more details. Remember the details and ask them the same questions later. Your spouse will likely give you different answers.

If you really want to make sure that your spouse isn’t lying to you, you can also ask them to tell the story backward.

9. They won’t let you near their phone.

A man with a beard is lying in bed, holding a smartphone and looking away with a concerned expression. A woman with long dark hair and wearing a pink top sits beside him, looking at him with a serious expression. They're covered with a light pink blanket.

A clear sign that your spouse is hiding something from you is when they literally hide something from you – their phone.

If they don’t let you touch their phone, there’s probably something there that they want you to see.

This is often the case with spouses who are having an affair.

Your spouse will keep their phone with them at all times, snap at you if you get too close to the phone, refuse to take calls in the same room, and stiffen if you are close enough to read text messages.

Be suspicious if they suddenly change their phone’s password for no reason.

If they literally hide their phone, you can rest assured that they’re hiding something from you.