If Your Husband (Or Boyfriend) Does These 16 Things, He Is Objectifying You

Does you husband treat you like a possession?

A man in a suit and red tie appears to be making a surprised or impressed facial expression, looking at the chest of a woman in a white dress with a low neckline. The background is blurred with natural light coming through windows.

When a person objectifies you, they don’t consider you a human being.

Instead, they consider you an object that exists to cater to their needs and wants.

To understand this better, simply imagine any object that you like. You probably like how it looks and how it makes you look. You use it when you need it, and you don’t think about it when you don’t need it.

It is basically the same thing when a person objectifies another person. They’ll never consider your thoughts and feelings or even be interested in them. Instead, they’ll just like the way you look and the way you make them look.

This is a major red flag in relationships, but luckily there are a number of signs you can look out for.

1. He is focused purely on your looks.

A woman in a red dress and sunhat, wearing sunglasses, holds a glass of red wine while smiling at a man in a blue shirt and sunglasses. They are outdoors, enjoying a sunny day in a park with greenery in the background.

Granted, the appearance of a person is the first thing that attracts us to them. It makes sense since it’s the first thing that we find out about them.

However, it’s the entire person that makes us fall for them and decide to get into a relationship with them. Or at least that’s how things are supposed to work.

Your partner, on the other hand, focuses solely on your looks. They’re not attracted to your personality and everything else that makes you you. They only like the way you look.

They consider you attractive, but what they feel for you isn’t healthy attraction. Instead, they consider you an object that exists to fulfill their desires. A beautiful object indeed, but an object nevertheless.

2. He tries to rush you into being physically intimate.

A woman and a man are sitting on a yellow couch, both wearing green shirts, and enjoying glasses of white wine. They are facing each other, smiling, and appear to be in a relaxed and comfortable setting with a bright, modern background.

People are supposed to get intimately involved at the time when they’re both excited about it and ready for it.

But when your partner pushes you to be physically intimate with them, it’s a major red flag.

Maybe they want you badly and can’t wait to get intimate. That’s perfectly fine. But, if you’re not ready and you said “no,” they should respect your decision and be patient enough for you to feel ready.

A person who pushes your boundaries isn’t a person you want to be with, especially when it comes to intimacy.

If your partner thinks more about what you’ll allow them to do than what you truly want, they’re bad for you. They’re objectifying you and aren’t truly interested in who you are as a person.

They might even consider spending time with you as the necessary evil to get you into bed.

3. He talks about physical intimacy too much or too soon.

A man and woman share a joyful moment. The man, seen from behind, has slicked-back hair and wears a white shirt. The woman, facing the camera, has red hair and wears a black top, smiling brightly with her eyes closed as she holds onto the man's shirt collar.

You probably already had experiences with people who do this. They bring up physical intimacy way too soon, and way too often.

Maybe they ask you questions about your intimate life and want to know all the details, or they share things about their intimate life. They make comments about your body in the context of physical intimacy, ask you for dirty pictures and send them too.

Sometimes, these things can be perfectly normal in a relationship. But when it happens too soon and too often, it’s something to be wary of, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

People who want to be in a serious relationship with you will usually know better than to do this. They’ll take time to get to know you as a person before focusing so much on talking about physical intimacy.

A person who constantly talks about physical intimacy probably talks about the only thing that they want from you. They’re interested in your body, not your soul, and this means that they’re objectifying you.

4. He considers you a prize to show off.

A young woman with long, light brown hair smiles while sitting at an outdoor café table with a bouquet of yellow roses in front of her. Across from her sits a man in a white t-shirt and black hat, partially turned away from the camera.

Objectification doesn’t have to be about physical intimacy though. Your partner could be with you just so that they can show you off to other people.

This might not even be about the way you look. It could be about how smart and successful you are just the same. Being seen with you boosts their ego, and that’s the only reason they’re dating you.

It’s normal and flattering when your partner brags about you to their family and friends. However, if you feel like the prize that they can show off to feel better about themselves, they’re objectifying you.

You might be amazing, but you’re an amazing person, not a beautiful trophy that validates your partner’s worthiness. They make themselves look better by standing next to you, and that’s the only reason they’re doing it.

This behavior is not a foundation for a healthy relationship. It’s a type of objectifying that has little to do with how you feel and all to do with how your partner feels.

5. He sees you as the things that you can offer him.

A couple is sitting closely together at a table in a cafe. The man, wearing a black suit and tie, is leaning in and smiling, while the woman, in a red dress with blonde hair, is holding a cup of coffee and smiling down at it. The background is softly blurred.

Again, this can but doesn’t have to be about physical intimacy. Your partner might see you as an object that offers them physical pleasure. However, they could also care about what you can offer them intellectually, financially, or in any other way.

They care much more about these things than about you as a person. They’re looking to gain from a relationship with you. And they do this without stopping to think about what they can offer you in return.

Like in the earlier example, they might consider spending time with you as the necessary evil to get what you have to offer. They even evaluate your entire relationship based purely on what you could offer them.

Instead of trying to give you love, they’re looking for what you can give them, and they don’t mean love. They’re interested in your looks, your money, how much you stimulate them intellectually, or something else.

Granted, it feels nice when a relationship comes with perks like that. However, that’s all they should be – perks, not something that is the sole motivation for being in a relationship.

6. He sees you as a stereotype.

A woman wearing an apron holds a tray of muffins, smiling at a man in a maroon shirt and glasses who is sitting at a table and smelling a muffin. The table has a laptop, notepad, and pencil on it. A rack of baked goods is in the background.

Does your partner label you as a certain type of woman? Maybe he says you’re very feminine for being emotional.

If they say things like these, it’s a sign you’re being objectified.

Maybe they try to label you as a certain type based on what you can offer people or how you look. They think that they’ve figured you out.

In reality, they’re actually projecting their personal beliefs onto you. They don’t see you as an individual but as an embodiment of a certain concept. This means that they’re objectifying you and aren’t really interested or even capable of getting to know the real you.

7. He dictates what you can do with your own body.

A blonde woman in a sparkling silver dress stands close to a man in a dark suit. The man has brown hair and a beard. They are posing with an elegant and intimate demeanor against a backdrop of bright, diffused lights.

What you will and won’t do with your body is solely your decision to make. Don’t ever be with someone who tells you what you should eat and what you should wear.

How you take care of your body and what you do with it should be entirely up to you. This goes beyond what you eat and wear. Your partner shouldn’t tell you what you should do with your body regarding anything else either.

They don’t care about the way you feel; they only care about how you look to them. They might even start forcing you to improve your looks and make you insecure about your appearance.

Don’t let them do that.

If your partner cares more about how you look than how you feel, it is the very core of objectification. They value external qualities more than internal emotions and that’s a major red flag.

Your body is your home, and you get full control of it. No one should have any say in what you do with it unless you ask them for their opinion. Even then, they should support anything that you feel is right for you.

8. He objectifies other people.

A blonde woman in glasses holds a black notebook and stands confidently in an office. A man in a suit is in the background, leaning on a desk with a laptop, papers, and office supplies. The setting appears professional with large windows and modern decor.

Someone who objectifies one person usually objectifies others as well. This might be easier to notice than when it’s happening to you.

You are replaceable to the person who objectifies other people because, to them, all women are the same. They treat all people the same – as objects that serve them a purpose.

They don’t see anything unique about you and your relationship. They just want to satisfy their immediate needs, and when they do, they move on to the next need… and, often, the next person.

They take pleasure in an intimate experience, certain body parts, or the overall appearance of a person. However, the desire doesn’t last for long. Usually, it lasts until they satisfy it.

This is especially true when it comes to men who are proven womanizers. They see women as objects that can provide them with initimate pleasure, and not much else.

9. Everything in the relationship is about him.

A man with short hair is adjusting his sunglasses and looking at a woman in the foreground. He is wearing a dark, polka-dotted shirt. The setting appears to be indoors, possibly in a store or a studio with clothing racks in the background.

You are not a person to someone who objectifies you; you are the way you react to them. A relationship with someone who acts like this may seem one-sided, and it is.

Everything is about them, their life, their plans for the future, their friends and family. They only talk about themselves, and eventually, you realize that they don’t know a thing about you.

This is because they didn’t care to find out. It doesn’t cross their mind that you could have thoughts and feelings too. They know nothing about your personal life and don’t seem to care either.

All of your conversations relate back to them. When they are interested in finding out more about you, it is only when it affects them somehow.

A person who objectifies others is often also a narcissist. They only think about themselves and how others could please them, whether it’s physically or in some other way.

10. He only cares about his own physical needs.

Close-up of a man and woman sitting at a table set for a meal. The man is gently touching the woman's arm, and they are engaged in conversation. Only their torsos and hands are visible, with wine glasses and silverware on the table in the foreground.

The person who treats you as an object won’t care about your likes in the bedroom department.

When they’re in bed with you, your role is to make them feel good and satisfy their needs. They couldn’t care less about your needs.

A person who objectifies others is usually also a selfish lover. They’ll avoid any build up unless it’s about pleasuring them, and if it is, they won’t reciprocate. They won’t care about your pleasure during physical intimacy, they’ll focus solely on theirs.

They’ll even be in a relationship with you purely for their own pleasure. They won’t explore your body to find out what you like. After all, they don’t care about your likes outside of the bedroom either.

When a person treats you this way, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them for your own sake. You deserve someone who’ll care about your needs and wants, both outside and inside the bedroom.

11. He is not empathetic.

A man is sitting at a table with a laptop in front of him, looking up at a woman who is standing beside him pouring coffee. The woman has one hand on the man's shoulder. A white vase with pink flowers is on the table. They are in a bright kitchen.

Your partner doesn’t see another person as a whole person. They don’t learn about other people’s strengths and weaknesses and don’t even recognize them.

They don’t care to find out about other people’s likes and dislikes. This means that they can’t see things from someone else’s perspective. They lack the empathy that’s necessary to make a relationship work.

You need a partner who is capable of putting themselves in your shoes and seeing things from your point of view. No one can do this all the time, but people who don’t lack empathy can do it often enough.

If your partner objectifies others, they probably can’t do it at all.

12. He’s attracted to only one aspect of your personality.

A man and a woman smile at each other affectionately while leaning against an orange vehicle. They appear to be outdoors, with a blurred background suggesting a beach or sandy area. The man is wearing a sleeveless shirt, and the woman has long, dark hair.

Your partner is solely focused on certain details about you that can be considered separate from your whole personality.

For instance, maybe they love how you look in formal wear. Anyone can wear formal wear, so this is not something that’s about you as a person. It can be seen separately from who you are.

Even if they are attracted to something related to your personality, it will be only one aspect of it. Likely, it is the aspect that’s in some way useful to them.

For instance, maybe they like that you make them laugh. They don’t appreciate your sense of humor, they appreciate their own laughter and having a fun time.

When a person doesn’t like or even know your whole personality, they’re not a good partner for you. You’re likely just an object to them.

13. He doesn’t really listen to you.

A man and a woman are sitting at a table with wine glasses and a wine bottle in front of them. The woman is smiling brightly, and the man is looking at her with a slight smile. They appear to be enjoying a pleasant moment together in a cozy, brick-walled setting.

You want to create a genuine connection with your partner by talking about your common interests, thoughts, and hobbies.

However, you rarely have a real conversation with them. If they can’t relate to what you are saying, they aren’t even going to listen.

You don’t feel heard in the relationship because it’s pretty one-sided. They aren’t interested in your world; they’re only interested in what affects them.

They’re capable of talking about themselves for hours and letting you just smile and nod. Afterward, they’d tell you that they had an amazing time with you.

However, when it’s your turn to talk, they zone out or get distracted. Unless of course, what you’re saying affects them or is related to them in some way.

Without proper communication, you can’t feel a genuine connection with them. You don’t even notice genuine interest, and a relationship like that definitely can’t work or be good for you.

14. He only compliments you on your looks.

A man in a navy blue suit kisses a smiling woman in a black blazer on the forehead from behind. The woman, standing in front, appears happy and relaxed. They are in a bright room with hexagonal wall decor and a plant partially visible.

Your partner might be incredibly charming even if they objectify you. They could shower you with flattering compliments every time they see you.

However, these compliments will only be related to how you look on the outside.

Your inside world doesn’t interest them, and they’re not attracted to your personality. They only like you for the way you look and care about how aesthetically pleasing you are to them.

Someone who objectifies a person is often overly interested in the person’s body. As already mentioned, they might even force you to improve your looks even more.

This isn’t always as obvious as you might think. It could start with a compliment like “You look beautiful…” and then there’s the “but.”

So, in the end you hear “You look beautiful, but you would look even better if you lost some weight.”

They might even be straightforward and add, “Why don’t you join the gym to look more attractive for me?”

You aren’t supposed to look anyhow for them. Take care of your looks for you, if that’s what you want. If it’s not, don’t do it to please them because they should care about you for who you are on the inside.

15. You don’t feel appreciated for who you are.

A couple is in a kitchen; the man is pouring a drink while standing behind the woman, who is cutting vegetables. The counter is filled with various fresh produce. A clock, utensils in a jar, and a pot on the stove are visible in the white, modern kitchen.

All in all, you don’t feel like your partner appreciates you for who you are, and you are probably right.

If they are objectifying you, they probably don’t even know who you are. They only know how you make them feel and couldn’t care less about how you feel.

Don’t stay with someone who treats you this way. You deserve to be loved for who you are, and you can be. Leave the person who objectifies you. Instead, find a partner who’ll realize that you’re a whole person with thoughts and feelings.

Don’t let anyone treat you as an object because you should be appreciated for who you are as a person and a human being.