12 Things All Men Are Guilty Of That Push Their Partners Away

Most men do many of these things.

A man with long dark hair, beard, and mustache, wearing a white t-shirt and dark shirt, rests his head on his hand and looks thoughtful. A blurred figure of another person in the background also appears upset. The setting seems to be indoors.

When relationships fall apart because a woman has finally had enough and walked away, most men seem shocked—they seem to have had no idea that there was anything wrong, and the abrupt end comes out of nowhere. Here are 12 common things that men are guilty of that will inevitably push their partners away if they don’t change their behavior.

1. They take their partners for granted.

A woman and a man sitting on a kitchen counter, both facing forward. The woman has her arms crossed and looks away with a stern expression. The man has his hands on his lap, leaning forward slightly, looking down. The atmosphere appears tense.

Most men don’t realize how much labor women put into their relationships. Toilet paper and toothpaste just magically appear, thoughtful gifts for family members are always purchased on time. Yet, these women are rarely thanked for all the time and effort they pour into these little necessities every single day.

2. They don’t give their partners enough quality time.

A couple is sitting on a couch in a cozy, modern living room. The man, with short brown hair and a beard, looks contemplatively at the camera, while the woman, with long dark hair, smiles and wraps her arms around him. There are books and plants in the background.

Actions speak a lot louder than words, and if a man consistently shows his partner that his other interests and pursuits are all more important than she is, what reason does she have to stick around? She’s only going to compete with his obsessions for so long before she detaches permanently.

3. They don’t apologize sincerely when they make mistakes.

A man and woman are sitting on a couch in a living room, engaged in a heated discussion. The man has his hands raised in frustration, while the woman is holding a piece of paper and gesturing as she talks. Shelves with books and plants are in the background.

This may include finding excuses as to why the mistake was made, or bringing up their partners’ past mistakes to imply that they somehow don’t deserve an apology. “I’m sorry, but…” is a common precursor to a non-apology, followed by a joke and insisting that it’s no big deal.

4. They make thoughtlessly critical or judgmental comments.

A man and woman sit at a restaurant table with unfinished food and drinks in front of them. The man has his head resting on one hand, appearing frustrated, while the woman looks away, seemingly upset. They are dressed in formal attire, and the ambiance is dimly lit.

Men often make thoughtless remarks without realizing the harm they cause over time. These may include things like commenting on how attractive their partners used to be when they were younger, asking them if their salad dressing is low-calorie or not, mocking them for physical hormonal changes they can’t control, and so on.

5. They dismiss their partners’ thoughts and feelings as invalid or “overreacting”.

A woman with curly hair and a pensive expression sits on a couch, propping her head with one hand. She wears a red shirt and a necklace. In the background, a man in a plaid shirt and jeans also sits on the couch, looking away. The mood appears tense.

Most men’s knee-jerk reaction to the things their wives or partners feel is instant dismissal. For example, if she’s worried that one of the kids isn’t feeling well, he’ll claim that she is overreacting instead of acknowledging her awareness of subtle behavioral changes that should be paid attention to.

6. They make decisions without consulting their partners.

A man and woman walk outdoors with foliage in the background. The man, in a white shirt, has dark hair pulled back and a beard. The woman, in a white lace top, has long dark hair. The focus is on the woman’s profile, with the man slightly blurred in the background.

Men who see their partners as extensions of themselves—or even their property—rarely treat them with the same respect they’d treat a friend or colleague. As such, they often make decisions without consulting their partners, either because it doesn’t occur to them to do so, or because they don’t want any arguments.

7. They refuse to properly communicate.

A person with long hair sits on a yellow couch using a laptop, looking concerned. Another person with curly hair stands next to them, leaning over to see the laptop screen, appearing focused and inquisitive. A white, bright room is in the background.

A lot of men shut down or go silent when they don’t want to deal with stressful situations, including relationship tensions. People can’t work through difficulties if one person perpetually freezes the other one out and refuses to participate, or pretends that there’s nothing wrong in order to maintain the status quo.

8. They continually say “Just tell me what needs to be done and I’ll do it”.

A man and woman are sitting on a gray couch in a modern living room, having an animated conversation. Both have raised hands and expressive gestures, indicating a heated discussion. The woman holds a tissue, and both appear emotionally engaged.

Women don’t want to have to parent their partners. This approach expects women to do all the mental labor necessary to prioritize things that need to be done, problem-solve them, and give instructions….instead of their men using their own minds to create solutions and sort out task management.

9. They weaponize incompetence.

View from inside a washing machine drum as a person reaches in to remove a single red sock among a pile of white laundry. The person appears to be surprised or concerned. The drum's metallic interior and the door's circular frame are visible.

Most men have learned that if they mess up chores, their partners will take over doing them so they don’t have to do it again. As such, they’ll “accidentally” throw red clothes in with the whites or break dishes while washing them, letting her add extra labor to her daily task list.

10. They expect their partners’ full attention on demand.

A couple sits on a stone bench outdoors. The man, wearing a cap and dark clothing, embraces the woman from behind, smiling. The woman, wearing a patterned jacket and purple pants, closes her eyes and smiles. The background features historical architecture and statues.

A lot of women don’t really exist to their partners until the guys want their attention. Dude can be completely engrossed in his show/game/hobby and not speak to his wife for hours, but as soon as he’s done, she had better be available for conversation, snacks, intimacy, and so on.

11. They put down the things their partners love.

A woman in a yellow sweater and jeans sits on a couch with a thoughtful, concerned expression, resting her chin on her hand. A man in a dark shirt and jeans sits on another couch in the background, his arms crossed, looking away. The setting appears tense.

Having someone constantly insult the things that bring you joy can wear down any relationship. Many men perpetually insult or make fun of the “silly” things that make their partners happy, whether it’s reading romance novels, doing “old lady” crafts like knitting, or collecting little treasures that make her smile.

12. They fail to express love in the language their partners prefer.

A woman with a braided hairstyle and wearing a blue necklace gazes into the camera, while a man in a white shirt stands close to her, his back partially facing the camera. They are outdoors, with a dark, textured wall in the background.

If her love language is acts of service or verbal expression, and she makes it known that those are the things she needs in order to feel loved and appreciated, she’ll be pushed further and further away if he simply tosses a gift at her every so often to keep her pacified.