If you want your relationship to succeed, say goodbye to these 18 expectations

1. Expecting your partner to tick all the boxes.

A close-up of a woman with brown hair looking directly at the camera with a neutral expression, her arm resting on the shoulder of a man in the foreground who is wearing a green shirt. The background is a solid red color.

It’s good that you know what you want from a relationship, but if you have a long list of what you don’t want, everyone might end up disqualified. If you have too many dealbreakers, you could be searching for a perfect relationship that might not even exist or be good for you.

Maybe your relationships always end when you encounter one of your dealbreakers. So you find out that your date smokes, that they’re a cat person rather than a dog person, or that they wear socks with sandals.

Then you inevitably end things just like you’ve always done. This pattern will continue until you finally reduce your lengthy list of dealbreakers.

2. Expecting your relationship to live up to romantic fiction.

A young woman rests her head on a man's shoulder while both sit outside, with trees and people in casual attire in the background. The woman looks thoughtful, while the man appears to be looking ahead. The atmosphere is relaxed and summery.

Maybe all your knowledge of relationships comes from romance novels and movies. You compare your relationships to fiction and expect the same kind of happy ending.

Hollywood has made you think that there’s one person in the entire world who’ll fulfill all of your needs and that you’re destined to be with them.

When things don’t work out like that in real life, and you encounter a problem in your relationship, you conclude that you deserve better. What you don’t realize is that no relationship is perfect, and they rarely play out like you see in the movies.

3. Expecting your relationship to match those you see on social media.

A woman with long, light brown hair looks into the distance with a calm expression. She is wearing a yellow shirt and small stud earrings. Beside her, part of a person in a green shirt is visible, though their face is not shown. The background is blurred.

Maybe you see happy couples on social media, and you expect the same kinds of grand gestures in your relationship. When this doesn’t happen, you are disappointed because you believe that relationships should be like the ones you see on social media. However, what happens offline matters much more than what’s shared with the public.

Your partner might not make the same grand gestures that you’ve seen on social media, but their behavior in the real world is what you should be focused on anyway. Don’t expect them to be some Instagram model.

4. Expecting the same relationship you think others have.

A woman with long blonde hair and a nose piercing stands outdoors, facing a man with a beard. Bright green leaves are visible in the background. Both individuals appear to be engaged in a conversation.

You could be comparing your current relationship to your friend’s, your parents’, or your past relationships. This is not a great idea. You’ll come to expect the same kinds of things that these other relationships have to offer. However, you must keep in mind that everyone is unique, and your partner will show you love in their own way.

You could also assume that all other relationships are better than yours, purely because you presume too much about them without knowing all the facts. All relationships look perfect on social media or family events, but they also all have problems, and you’re not going to see much of that part in people’s posts.

5. Expecting your partner to read your mind.

A couple embraces outdoors, bathed in the warm light of a setting sun. The woman has her eyes closed, appearing serene as she rests her chin on the man's shoulder. The background shows a landscape with vegetation.

Maybe you believe that your partner should “just know” certain things, and it leads you to feel disappointed when they turn out to be a bad mind reader. Don’t expect them to read your mind.

Tell your partner what you want instead of making subtle hints or expecting them to somehow know what it is. Some people are just not that great at reading between the lines, and you need to spell it out for them. Why not simply explain what you need so you don’t end up disappointed?

6. Expecting your partner to spend all their free time with you.

A man and woman stand close together at a train station, looking into each other's eyes. The man wears a brown jacket and a black backpack, while the woman is dressed in a light blue coat. They appear to be enjoying a tender moment amidst the busy setting.

If you don’t let your partner spend time with their friends because you need them by your side 24/7, you’re asking for too much. What’s more, spending all your free time together is bad for both of you and could cause you to become overly dependent on one another.

You should both have a life outside of the relationship for it to be healthy. Let your partner spend time with their friends and you can spend time with yours. Just like you shouldn’t forbid them from spending time with their friends, you shouldn’t rely solely on them for your social life.

7. Expecting your partner to be constantly available.

A man with short brown hair and a beard lies on his side in bed, looking at a smartphone he is holding in his hand. He has a tattoo on his forearm and is wearing a white t-shirt. The background shows a pillow and a headboard.

Maybe you don’t expect your partner to spend all of their free time with you, but you want them to be available 24/7 in case you need them. They constantly have to let you know about their whereabouts and respond quickly to your calls and messages.

This is also bad for your relationship, and you should leave your partner some room to breathe. They should have enough alone time, as well as time for friends, family, and hobbies, without having to be on their phone the entire time reassuring you that they’re still thinking about you.

8. Expecting your partner to fulfill all your needs.

A man and woman are sitting on a couch having a discussion. The woman, with curly hair and wearing a yellow top, has an animated expression with her hands gesturing. The man, with short hair and wearing a green shirt, is facing her and seemingly responding.

You can’t expect your partner to meet all your needs. They have their own needs to think about too, and you should have a support system other than your partner, such as your family or friends, so you aren’t so reliant on them.

Depending on one person for all your needs can be overwhelming for them, and they are probably going to let you down. Sure, your partner will want you to be happy, but they can’t be the only one who takes care of you. You need to take care of your own needs and only ask for help with things you can’t handle on your own.

9. Expecting to never fight in a relationship.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a light-colored coat, gestures with her right hand and appears to be talking to a man in a beige jacket. The conversation takes place outdoors, with blurred lights illuminating the background.

The legend says that happy couples don’t fight, but this is why it’s just a legend. All couples occasionally fight. If you expect everything to be smooth sailing in your relationship, you’re in for a big surprise. Arguments happen, and they shouldn’t surprise you.

You and your partner can’t agree on everything, and fighting is sometimes a productive way to resolve your problems. You might be surprised to know that fighting is actually normal, and even good for you, depending on how you fight.

10. Expecting things to stay the same.

A smiling man and woman sit at a table in a modern café, holding takeaway coffee cups. The man is wearing a maroon shirt, and the woman is wearing a light pink blouse. Shopping bags are visible in the foreground. They appear happy and relaxed.

Maybe you are happy in your relationship, but the problem is, you expect things to stay that way forever. Every relationship goes through certain stages, including rough patches every now and then. Expecting to always stay in the honeymoon phase is just going to leave you disappointed when reality strikes.

Don’t fear change. Welcome and embrace change instead. Know that you and your partner are constantly growing and changing, and so is your relationship—it’s perfectly normal.

Your relationship is going to go through certain stages and change with time, and this means that things are going to be difficult occasionally. Don’t let this come as a surprise.

11. Expecting your partner to change who they are.

A man and woman both wearing gray sweaters sit close together but facing different directions. The woman looks down with a serious expression while the man sits behind her with a thoughtful expression, slightly out of focus.

It’s okay to expect your partner to improve, but expecting them to change who they are entirely is a whole other story. Unfortunately, a lot of times people stay in relationships because they hope that their partners will suddenly become different people. They’ve seen the red flags, but their partners promise to change. The question is, will they?

People can improve when they work on it, but they very rarely, if ever, change their entire personality. Don’t cling to a person in the hope that they’ll turn into someone else. If you can’t love them for who they are, you can’t love them, and that’s it.

12. Expecting your partner to be perfect.

A man and woman are enjoying a day outdoors in a scenic field of wildflowers. The woman, wearing a denim jacket, is on a bicycle with a basket full of flowers, while the man in a plaid shirt walks beside her. The sky is partly cloudy, and trees fill the background.

You might be expecting perfection from your partner. Maybe you expect them to be flawless and always live up to your expectations. This is unrealistic and also unfair to them.

You should love your partner for who they are, with all of their flaws and shortcomings. If you can’t do this, do you even love them? Maybe you’re in love with the image of them that you’ve created in your mind based on fairytales.

13. Expecting your relationship to always make you happy.

A smiling man and woman are walking hand in hand along a dirt path in a grassy field. The man is wearing a light blue shirt and distressed jeans, and the woman is wearing a light pink shirt with distressed jeans. A town is visible in the background under a cloudy sky.

Your partner shouldn’t be your only source of happiness. You should know how to make yourself happy.

Sometimes, love makes us sad or angry; we can’t always be happy. And that’s okay, it’s normal to experience all these emotions in a relationship. So, don’t assume that your partner’s sole purpose on this earth is to make you happy. Find ways to make yourself happy, and don’t rely on them for your every need.

14. Expecting your partner to always say and do the right thing.

A man and woman walk hand-in-hand through a forested area. The woman wears a yellow top and jeans, carrying a backpack over her shoulder. The man wears a beige shirt and jeans, also carrying a backpack. Both look at each other as they walk along the wooded path.

Rest assured that your partner is going to make mistakes. So, you can’t expect them to always say and do the right thing. Again, nobody’s perfect, so don’t expect your partner to be.

Sometimes they are going to hurt you, say the wrong thing, make you cry, or make you angry. They are going to do things that they wish they hadn’t done and say things that they wish they could take back. They’re only human, so don’t expect them to be flawless.

15. Expecting things to always be easy.

A man and woman sit closely together outdoors on a sunny day, with the man holding the woman from behind. Both are wearing casual sweaters and jeans. The woman looks ahead with a serene expression, while the man gazes at her affectionately. The background is blurred.

Movies and books also erroneously teach us that things are going to be easy when you meet the right person. When things turn out to be not so easy with someone, you end the relationship because they’re clearly not “The One” for you!

Things can’t be easy all the time. As already mentioned, all relationships encounter bumps in the road, and all couples occasionally fight. It’s not going to be all smooth sailing just because you’re madly in love. Don’t believe Hollywood when it comes to romantic relationships.

16. Expecting your partner to complete you.

A man and a woman face each other, palms pressed together, with black straps binding their arms. The man wears a white shirt, and the woman wears a brown top. They appear to be engaged in an intense interaction.

You should be a complete person without your partner. While healthy expectations in a relationship include the feeling of fulfillment that a relationship brings, it shouldn’t be the only thing that brings fulfillment into your life.

Basically, you should have a life separate from your love life and find fulfillment in things you’re passionate about other than your relationship. Ideally, you should feel like a complete person before getting into a relationship with someone, but the least you could do is not expect them to complete you and give your life meaning.

17. Expecting your partner to always understand you.

A couple sits closely together on a sandy beach. The woman, wearing a white dress, smiles brightly while looking up at the man, who is in a striped shirt and has his arm around her shoulders. They appear happy and content, surrounded by rippled sand patterns.

Misunderstandings happen in every relationship. Your partner can’t always know and understand how you feel, and you’re occasionally going to disagree as well. This is all normal, and you shouldn’t expect it to be any different.

Your partner can’t always see things from your perspective, especially if you don’t communicate clearly. So, again, don’t expect them to be a mind reader. Try to communicate clearly instead of hinting at things. Don’t expect your partner to know and understand things that you haven’t clarified with them.

18. Expecting your partner to always prioritize your needs.

A couple dressed in black leather jackets, wearing sunglasses, and embracing each other closely while smiling. They are about to kiss, with sunlight softly illuminating them from behind, giving a warm and romantic atmosphere.

Your partner should generally put you first, but they also have their own needs to think about, so they can’t always prioritize yours. Don’t expect them to ditch work or friends because you want them to watch a TV show with you.

If you happen to be sick or are having a crisis, sure, they will show up for you and ditch everything. However, when it’s not that serious, it’s okay that they put their own needs first. They are allowed to choose their professional or social life over their love life every now and then.