These 12 Behaviors Reveal You're A Micromanaging Control Freak In Relationships

Are you acting like a partner or a parent?

A man and woman are sitting on a couch in a bright living room. The man, holding a tablet and paperwork, looks at the woman attentively. The woman, in a blue tank top and jeans, is facing him with a relaxed demeanor. Sunlight streams through a large window.

You may think you are helping your partner and your relationship by taking control. But if you recognize these micromanaging habits in yourself, you are likely doing far more harm than good.

1. You set their routines.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a light-colored coat, gestures with her right hand and appears to be talking to a man in a beige jacket. The conversation takes place outdoors, with blurred lights illuminating the background.

You’ve set a routine or schedule for you and your partner to adhere to. And boy is there trouble if they don’t.

2. You’re in charge of the meals.

Two people having a picnic on a grassy area. A woman with blonde hair and a man with white hair are sitting on a blanket near a wicker picnic basket. A platter with fruits, cheese, and breadsticks is placed beside them.

You choose the meals that the two of you eat, and either condemn your partner for trying to make different choices, or try to manipulate them into going with what you decided.

3. You’re overly critical.

A man and a woman sit at a table in a cozy café, engaged in an animated conversation. The man holds a white coffee cup while the woman gestures with her hands. On the table are glasses of orange juice and an iced latte, along with a phone.

You judge and criticize your partner constantly, followed by not-so-subtle suggestions about how they should do things differently according to your standards or preferences.

4. You try to control their behavior.

A woman with red hair sits, looking down intently. A bearded man with short hair stands close, leaning forward with a concerned expression. The background is a bright, well-lit room with a potted plant on the right side.

You feel the need to control what your partner wears, how they look, and even how they speak or behave around other people.

5. You’re trying to change your partner.

A man and woman sit at a cafe table, each with a cup of coffee. They are engaged in conversation, and the woman is smiling warmly while resting her head on her hand. The background shows a modern, minimalistic interior with shelves and a TV screen.

You keep trying to change your partner into your ideal version of them instead of who they are, which may include pushing them to take part in your hobbies or interests rather than encouraging theirs.

6. Your partner has to live up to your standards, not theirs.

A man and a woman in loungewear are sitting on a bed against a white brick wall. The man is covering his face with one hand and appears distressed, while the woman, with curly hair, is gesturing emphatically with her hands, as if expressing strong emotions.

You have expectations of your partner to adapt to your standards or ways of doing things rather than respecting their standards and techniques.

7. You monitor your partner.

A smiling woman embraces a man from behind while he washes dishes at the kitchen sink. The man wears an orange cleaning glove on one hand. They both appear happy and are in a brightly lit, modern kitchen.

You monitor your partner’s behaviors to ensure they’re adhering to your expectations. Like checking how well they’ve done the dishes, or folded the laundry.

8. You invalidate their feelings.

A man and woman are sitting on a couch having a discussion. The woman, with curly hair and wearing a yellow top, has an animated expression with her hands gesturing. The man, with short hair and wearing a green shirt, is facing her and seemingly responding.

You ignore or dismiss your partner’s feelings, needs, or wants in favor of your own because you feel that yours are more important or relevant than theirs.

9. You try to make all the decisions.

A man and a woman, both in business attire, stand in a modern kitchen. The man gestures towards a paper bag that the woman is holding, smiling as she looks at him. The kitchen has a microwave, a kettle, glass jars, and various utensils on the countertop.

You regularly make decisions for your partner rather than consulting them or giving them the option to take the lead.

10. You question their decisions.

A man and woman sit on blue chairs in an airport, engaged in conversation. The man gestures animatedly while the woman, with her arm around his shoulder, listens attentively. A laptop rests on the man's lap, and a black backpack and yoga mat are nearby.

You question your partner’s decisions as though you were the authority in all regards, even if they’re significantly more educated or experienced in a situation or topic than you.

11. You get angry when they don’t comply.

A man with a serious expression is sitting on a bed, gesturing with open hands towards a woman sitting next to him. The woman, looking away with a stoic expression, is wearing a beige jacket and has braided hair. A painting hangs on the wall behind them.

You get extremely frustrated—or even enraged—when your partner doesn’t go along with what you’ve decided. You believe you’re simply doing what’s best for everyone and don’t understand why they can’t appreciate that.

Finally…

A man and a woman are in a kitchen, both standing barefoot. The man, wearing a denim shirt over a white t-shirt and dark pants, has his arms crossed and leans against the counter. The woman, in a brown apron and jeans, is holding a spoon and standing in a yoga pose.

If any of this strikes a chord with you, you’re likely causing a fair amount of damage to the relationship by micromanaging your partner instead of treating them as equals.

This is a person whom you should love, appreciate, and cherish as you go through life.

As such, it’s time to ask yourself why you’re behaving this way towards them, and how you can go about stopping.