8 Truths Survivors Of Narcissistic Abuse Want Their Abuser To Know

Know These Truths

A man with short, styled hair and a beard stands near the ocean, gazing into the distance. He is wearing a black shirt and has his hands placed behind his head. The sun is shining, creating a warm, golden light around him.

Whatever the root cause of their behavior, a narcissist will cause untold suffering to those they abuse.

They are spirit crushers; they take an individual and control, confuse, and torment them with a bewildering array of verbal and physical weaponry just to gratify their insatiable, egotistical mind.

Upon escaping this toxic personality, it can take a survivor a great deal of time to recapture some semblance of their former identity, but they will never quite resemble the person they were before.

Despite this, they will eventually reach a place where they are able to look back on their experiences at the hands of a narcissist with some small amount of acceptance.

They will never fully understand why they had to endure such suffering, but they will no longer be imprisoned by the lingering influence of their narcissist.

While it is recommended that someone who has been through such an ordeal NEVER again make contact with the person in question, there are some things that many survivors wish they could say to their abuser. They use them as powerful reminders for themselves instead.

1. You Did NOT Break Me

A woman with long, light brown hair smiles brightly at the camera while standing outdoors on a sunny day. She is wearing a white short-sleeve shirt and has one hand resting on her hip. A street with parked cars and greenery is visible in the background.

You hurt me in ways that you’ll never quite understand.

At times, life with you felt like a form of psychological torture as you pushed me ever closer to the brink of the abyss.

You took me, you chewed me up, and you spat me out again.

You have forever changed me in ways that I am still coming to terms with.

You looked at me as a tool and used me as just that.

You didn’t care for me; all you wanted from me was the adoration and attention that you crave.

I just want you to know that you did NOT break me.

2. You FAILED

A man with curly hair and a beard smiles while standing outdoors. He is wearing a sleeveless purple top with a pocket, and palm trees are visible in the background. The scene appears to be in a sunny, urban area with a relaxed atmosphere.

My spirit may have been hurt, but since leaving you behind, it has once again bloomed and flourished.

In spite of all your attempts to degrade and destroy me, you failed.

I stand here today in defiance of you and everything you did to me.

3. You No Longer Have A Place In My Heart…

A woman with long blond hair holds a cup while sitting outdoors on a sunny day. She wears a white shirt with a yellow sweater draped over her shoulders and smiles gently at the camera. Trees and a green lawn are visible in the background.

For a long time, my heart belonged to you.

You had my love, my care, and my devotion, but you wasted it and now it is gone.

There is no longer a place for you in my heart and I want you to know that there never will be again.

4…And That’s Your Loss

A person with curly hair smiles softly while posing outdoors. They are wearing a blue knit sweater, with their hands gently touching their face. Green foliage in the background gives the photo a serene, nature-like atmosphere.

What you had was a privilege and an honor, but you know no respect for such things.

You may think you have much in your life, but my love – and the love of all those who have left you behind – is something that you will be much poorer without.

5. You Taught Me A Lesson I Needed To Learn

A person with curly hair wearing a black coat gazes upward while leaning on a railing. They are standing in front of a brick building with large windows. The sky is visible reflecting in the windows.

You may well believe that you had the last laugh in our relationship, that there is nothing that I could possibly take from the time I spent with you.

Let me tell you now that you are wrong.

6. But I’m Thankful To Myself, Not You

A woman with a braid stands outdoors with her arms outstretched, smiling and looking to the side. She is wrapped in a blue towel and has a background of tall grass and trees. The weather appears to be sunny.

You may have used me without a second thought to my well-being, and you may not care how I am now, but you should know that what you did to me has taught me huge amounts.

You and your spiteful behavior were life lessons that I am grateful for.

I do not thank you for this; I thank myself for being able to see the meaning in your malevolent ways and to learn from them that which I needed to learn.

7. You Are Incapable Of Love

A man with curly hair and a beard is smiling while standing outdoors on a sunny day. He is wearing a patterned short-sleeved shirt. Trees, buildings, and a parked white car are visible in the background.

It is sad to think that you will never know what it feels like to love, to feel compassion, or even to truly feel close to another living being.

I wish you were able to understand what it is you lack, but I doubt you ever will.

It’s not simply the love for others, but that which you feel towards yourself too; I don’t think you even experience this.

8. I Pity You

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a yellow sweater and blue jeans, sits comfortably on a gray couch, holding a blue mug and smiling. Sunlight shines through the windows in the background, illuminating the room.