14 Little Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You

Have they really moved on?

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white sweater, rests her head on her hand while sitting on a couch. She looks thoughtfully into the distance with a pensive expression. Pillows in pastel colors are in the foreground.

After a breakup it can seem like a competition of who is going to move on first.

Rather than just accepting it takes time to heal after a breakup, we go out of our way to make it seem like we’ve over it. Especially if we are the ones who got dumped.

But there are usually signs that reveal a person isn’t as over the relationship as they’re letting on. Here are 14 of them.

1. They seem too happy.

A smiling woman and a man sitting closely together in a bright café, taking a selfie with a pink smartphone. The woman has shoulder-length hair and is wearing a pale pink blouse. The man has short hair and is wearing a light blue shirt. A coffee cup is visible in the foreground.

Your ex might seem too over you. They’re happier than ever, and they flaunt how over you they are. Maybe they even tell you that they’ve moved on and that they feel great after the breakup.

If they’re trying to prove to you that they’re happy, they’re probably hiding the real truth.

They could be bragging about their new relationship and emphasizing how happy their new partner makes them feel.

If they got into this relationship soon after the breakup, odds are it’s just a rebound relationship. They are trying to make it seem like so much more to convince you that they’re happy without you.

2. They show off on social media.

A man with short brown hair and a beard sits at a table in a modern cafe, holding a smartphone and looking thoughtfully out the window. He is wearing a light denim shirt, and there is a coffee cup, saucer, and an open book on the table.

If your ex is constantly posting inspirational quotes and memes on social media about how great they’re doing, they might be doing it on purpose.

They might want to show off their newfound happiness in the hope that you’ll see it and realize what you’re missing out on.

On the other hand, they could be in denial and trying to convince the whole world that they’re doing fine.

They could also post pictures with their new partner with a description that says how happy they are. They might try to make you jealous by posting pics with random hot people at parties as well.

They may be showing off their luxurious and happy lifestyle post-breakup just to pretend that they’re over you.

3. They stalk you on social media.

A young woman with long dark hair stands against a light gray wall, looking down at her phone. She is wearing a blue denim jacket over a black top and a light-colored skirt. She appears focused on the device in her hands.

An ex who is your number one fan on social media and who uses it to keep tabs on you is definitely pretending to be over you.

If your ex likes all your posts or watches all your stories, they’re still obsessed with you. They want to know what you’re doing, and they’re especially interested in knowing whether there’s someone new in your life.

They might mention things that you posted when you talk to them, which shows they’re stealthily stalking you on social media…and that they’re pretending to be over you while they still think about you.

4. They find excuses to contact you or see you.

A young woman wearing a yellow striped shirt and jeans is kneeling on the floor, carefully placing folded clothes into an open cardboard box. Behind her, a wardrobe with shelves containing various household items is partially visible.

One day, your ex returns your old pair of worn, useless gloves. The next, they ask for your help moving furniture around their apartment. Another time they bring you coffee to work to thank you.

You get the point.

They find every possible excuse to contact and/or see you.

Maybe they join you at your yoga classes or suddenly need your advice on buying a new phone.

Whatever it is, finding an excuse to get in touch with you or meet you is one of the signs your ex still loves you.

5. They “accidentally” run into you.

A man with a beard and a relaxed smile lounges on a cushioned seat by a window. He is wearing a light blue shirt and beige pants, with one arm resting on a pillow and the other raised. A glass of coffee sits on a table next to him.

Your ex just happens to be shopping in your neighborhood, attending your dance lessons, or visiting a friend near your office.

Somehow you constantly bump into them wherever you go.

They’re in your favorite coffee shop in the morning, at the restaurant you regularly go to on your lunch break, and in the bar that you hang out at after work.

Odds are this is not an accident. Your ex purposely creates opportunities to bump into you by hanging around the places where they know they’ll see you.

6. They talk about you to your mutual friends.

Three friends are sitting on a couch, engaged in conversation, with snacks and drinks on a table in front of them. Two soccer balls are placed on the couch. The group appears relaxed and focused, possibly watching a soccer game together.

If your ex is not over you, rest assured that they will ask around about you, even if they don’t reach out to you directly.

They will want to know what you’ve been doing, and especially whether you have been seeing anyone new since the breakup. They will ask your mutual friends about it and maybe even send you a message through them.

They could also start hanging out with your mutual friends more often in the hopes of seeing you.

7. They befriend your friends.

Two men are casually chatting in an office. The man on the left is holding a red notebook, while the man on the right is holding a basketball and pointing. Other people in the background appear to be engaged in conversation. The setting is relaxed and informal.

Your ex might not stop at your mutual friends. They could suddenly befriend your friends as well.

They’ll probably do this to be close to you and keep up with what’s been going on in your life. They may even ask your friends for help in getting you back if they’re still in love with you.

Your ex suddenly becoming besties with your friends is a sign that they’re not really over you.

This is especially true if they didn’t put much effort into befriending your friends before but now they attend every party you’re invited to.

8. They constantly talk about you and send you messages.

A person sits at a table near a window, looking at a smartphone. They are wearing a plaid shirt. On the table is a sandwich wrapped in paper and a coffee cup. The setting appears to be a casual dining spot.

Whether it’s through your mutual friends, your best friends, your family, or their friends, your ex will send you messages.

They will constantly talk about you to people that know you and use them as messengers.

So, for instance, people may start asking you why you don’t call your ex and check up on them or they may mention that you were a great couple.

If your ex wants to win you back, they’ll certainly make an effort to find allies that will help them get to you.

9. They try to make you jealous.

A woman with long brown hair is sitting on a couch in a modern living room. Wearing a white shirt and light-colored pants, she looks relaxed with one hand in her hair and the other holding a smartphone. Her expression is calm and content.

Your ex will want to get your attention if they’re not over you.

If they’re dating someone, they’ll flaunt their new relationship in front of your face. They’ll post pictures with attractive people on social media and even publicly announce that they’re seeing someone new.

They could also try to make you jealous by pretending that their life is great after the breakup. They’ll post pictures of exotic vacations and awesome parties, just to get you to think that they’re having an awesome time without you.

Granted, it might be true that your ex is doing all those awesome things, but if it seems like they’re showing off, there’s probably more to it than what meets the eye.

10. They drunk dial or text you.

A man with short hair sits on a dark gray sofa in a well-lit room, wearing a blue and white striped shirt. He is holding a smartphone to his ear, appearing to be mid-conversation, and squinting slightly as sunlight shines on his face.

Who here hasn’t been found guilty of drunk dialing their ex at late hours in the hopes of hooking up again? We’ve all done it.

An ex who drunk dials has not moved on from the relationship or breakup—FACT!

Even if they’re doing just fine without you, if they’re just a few glasses of alcohol away from calling to say they love you or texting that they want you back, then they haven’t moved on yet.

Maybe they only do this when they drink, but it still shows that they’re thinking about getting back together.

11. They keep tabs on you.

A woman with long hair, dressed in a striped shirt and jeans, is sitting on the floor and leaning against a white couch. She is looking at her yellow smartphone, with one hand resting on her forehead. There are houseplants and soft furnishings in the cozy, bright room.

Maybe your ex keeps track of where you go, who you hang out with, and what you do.

They could be asking about you, spending time at places where they know they’ll find you, and stalking your social media.

Hey, they might even be literally stalking you.

If your ex still keeps tabs on you and your whereabouts, they’re not over you. They might not go to the extent of stalking you, but if they know where you are and what you’ve been doing, they still care.

12. They’re not dating anyone new.

A young woman with long hair sits on a couch beside a large window, resting her head on one hand. She is wearing a denim shirt over a white top and appears to be deep in thought, gazing out the window at the blurry buildings and greenery outside.

Even if your ex seems to be doing fine after the breakup, if they’re not dating anyone new yet, they probably need more time until they’ve fully healed.

This is not one of the signs your ex wants you back. However, it does show they haven’t moved on.

They might even still love you, but don’t assume that they want to get back together. Your ex probably just needs more time to heal from the breakup before they can start dating again. They don’t want to get into a rebound relationship.

13. They’re in a rebound relationship.

A man and a woman sit at a table in a modern, well-lit café, smiling and having a conversation. The man holds a cup of coffee, and the woman has a glass of orange juice with a straw. The background features large windows with daylight streaming in.

On the flip side, what if your ex is dating someone new soon after the breakup?

If it’s really soon and they practically jumped into this new relationship without thinking about it, it is just a rebound relationship.

They’re using their new partner to get over you, and their new relationship is doomed to end quickly.

Some people use rebound relationships to help them move on from a bad breakup. Maybe your ex really has moved on and fallen in love with someone new.

However, if this happened soon after the breakup, it’s probably just a rebound fling to help them get over you, unless they were cheating on you with their new partner.

If they are hiding their new relationship from you, this might be why.

14. Their new partner looks like you.

A couple walks on a bridge at sunset, smiling and holding each other closely. The man wears a white sweater and dark pants, while the woman wears a black jacket and scarf. Buildings and a few cars are visible in the background.

This is a bit weird, but it happens surprisingly often. When your ex hasn’t moved on yet, they find someone who looks like you to replace you.

If their new partner looks shockingly familiar, and even your friends have noticed the resemblance, your ex is searching for you in their new partner.

Naturally, some people simply have a type. However, when your ex moves on, they’ll want to move on to someone different than you, not your doppelganger.

Their type shouldn’t be your exact replica, unless they’re still mad about you of course.