If Your Ex Does These 15 Things, They're Pretending To Be Over You

They’re not over you.

A man wearing sunglasses, a knitted hat, and a denim shirt holds a smartphone and a cup while walking down a sunlit street. He has a black backpack slung over one shoulder. There are cars parked along the side of the road and buildings in the background.

The breakup was nasty, and you cried your eyes out, but your ex seems to be doing just fine.

Are they already over you, or are they faking it?

Seeing your ex move on quickly can be hurtful, especially if you still haven’t.

However, if you spot these signs, it’s likely your ex is only pretending to be over you.

1. They bring up the past.

Two people in athletic wear stand outdoors near a building, smiling and talking. One wears a red top with a phone armband and earphones, holding a black gym bag. The other wears a gray top, beanie, and yellow headphones, holding a blue water bottle.

Does your ex like to reminisce about the good times that you’ve shared while you were happy together?

If they frequently bring up the past, it’s probably because they haven’t yet managed to let go of it.

They might mention some of your fond memories or tell an anecdote from the times you’ve shared together. Maybe they’ll even call you when something reminds them of your past relationship and the positive memories that come with it.

If your ex is often nostalgic, they might hope to relive the past and try working on a future together again.

2. They offer to help you.

A woman and a man are assembling furniture in a bedroom. The woman is sitting on the bed, holding instruction papers and smiling, while the man is kneeling on the floor, using a screwdriver. Various furniture pieces and tools are scattered around them.

When you need help, your ex comes to your rescue. They want to be the one to save you when you need saving.

Maybe they offer to help with your chores while you’re sick, they walk the dog for you, move your furniture, fix your computer, give you advice, or bring you chicken soup.

If your ex is ready and willing to go the extra mile for you and help you out, they probably still have feelings for you. They do you favors so that they can be around you more and get you to like them again.

3. They want to talk about why you broke up.

A woman and a man are sitting at a cafe table with cups of coffee and a dessert. The woman looks concerned, resting her chin on her hand, while the man is talking and gesturing with his hands. The background features warm, hanging lights and wooden decor.

If your ex is not over you and wants you back, they will want to talk about your relationship and the reasons you broke up.

Maybe they can’t stop digging through the past and searching for what went wrong between you. They will want to talk to you about it in the hopes of finding a way to overcome the problems that drew you apart.

Your ex might even mention that things will be different this time or try to prove that you won’t be facing the same problems if you get back together.

Basically, if they want to know what went wrong, they probably want to know how to make it right again.

4. They still hold on to your stuff.

A woman in a plaid shirt and jeans sits on a wooden floor, surrounded by cardboard moving boxes. She rests her chin on her hand, gazing thoughtfully into the distance. The room has large windows, some sunlight, and a potted plant in the background.

When people break up, they usually return each other’s belongings. If your ex is trying to avoid this step of the breakup, they probably still secretly hope that you’ll get back together.

If they haven’t returned your stuff, or asked for their things back, they might be clinging on to hope that it won’t have to come to that.

However, they could also use returning things or getting things back as an excuse to see you.

For instance, they may “accidentally” find your things one at a time. In reality, they are using these items as an excuse to get together with you.

5. They hold on to mementos.

A man with short brown hair and a beard, wearing a gray shirt and blue jeans, sits pensively on a gray sofa with his hands clasped. He is in a modern living room with shelves full of books and decorative items in the background.

Your picture together, the gift you gave them, the souvenir you got when you traveled together, the napkin from the restaurant where you went on your first date… If your ex still holds on to mementos like these, they’re probably not over you.

When you want to forget an ex, you get rid of everything that reminds you of them. So, if your ex hesitates to do this, they probably aren’t ready to let you go.

If their bedroom looks exactly the same as when you left and is still full of your memories, they’re probably hoping that you’ll return to that room again.

6. They send long, emotional messages.

A man with short dark hair and a beard is standing outdoors, wearing a blue T-shirt. He is looking down and smiling slightly at a smartphone he is holding in one hand. The background features a lit street with trees and buildings, slightly blurred.

Checking up on your ex might be a bad idea, but what if they check up on you?

What kind of messages do they send? If they send long, thoughtful, emotional messages, they probably haven’t moved on yet.

They always respond positively, they open up to you about their feelings, and they talk to you about their problems.

Maybe they even confess that they miss you in one of these long messages. This means that they haven’t moved on yet and that they might want to get back together.

7. They’re partying all the time.

A group of five friends enjoying drinks at a bar. Two women on the left hold colorful cocktails while chatting. The other three, one man and two women, are cheerfully toasting with their drinks. The bar is dimly lit with vibrant lights in the background.

Don’t be surprised if your ex suddenly turns into a party animal after the breakup. It’s their way of coping. They are overcompensating after being in a committed relationship.

They might even be drinking to forget about you, even though they post pictures from parties where it looks like they’re having an awesome time.

Maybe your ex really does have a great time partying, but if they’re suddenly a party animal, they haven’t moved on yet. Moving on is peaceful, not a wild, loud party.

Don’t assume that your ex has moved on just because it seems like they’re having a blast. You don’t know what happens after the party when reality hits them.

8. They blocked you.

A woman with long red hair is standing on a paved path in a park, holding a purple smartphone in both hands. She is wearing a light-colored jacket and looking directly at the camera. Trees and greenery are visible in the background.

Blocking your ex can help a person cope with a breakup, but it can also hint that they haven’t moved on.

If your ex blocked you on social media, it just shows that they find it hard to be reminded of you and struggle not to get in touch with you.

If you have made your ex angry, they likely blocked you because they don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. However, it still shows that they’re not over you. They don’t want you back, but they haven’t yet processed the emotions that the breakup caused.

9. They changed their appearance.

A man in a blue tank top is lifting a large tire in a gym. He appears focused and determined. There are exercise balls and other gym equipment in the background. The floor is polished concrete.

Your ex might be trying to reinvent themselves and start fresh. They are investing a lot of time in self-improvement, and they have changed their appearance.

Maybe they just got a new hairstyle or lost some weight. Whatever it is, a change in appearance is a sign that they’re trying to move on.

They probably don’t want to get back together if they’ve changed their appearance, but it’s certainly something that they’re doing because they haven’t moved on yet.

They’re trying to get over you by changing things about themselves, such as the color of their hair or the style of their clothes.

10. They are suddenly interested in your life.

A woman with curly hair, wearing a sleeveless orange top, is smiling while looking at her smartphone. She is seated in a cozy, dimly lit room with patterned wallpaper and soft furniture.

Your ex suddenly wants to know everything that’s going on with you. They are suddenly interested in your hobbies, passions, and interests.

Maybe they even suggest trying some of those things together. For instance, if they know that you like bowling, they might invite you to go bowling with them.

They might try to be your friend or show particular interest in your love life. Let’s face it, if your ex frequently calls you to chat about your day, it’s a bit odd…unless it’s their attempt to get back together with you.

11. They’re still angry.

Two women sit at an outdoor café, engaged in a conversation. The woman in a red jacket gestures emotionally with her hands, appearing frustrated or upset. Two white cups are on the table in front of them, and the background shows an overcast sky and trees.

Maybe your ex is still very angry. It’s unlikely that they want to get back together, but it does mean that they haven’t moved on yet. If your ex is holding a grudge, they clearly have trouble letting go of the past.

Even if they pretend that they’re over you, if they still try to cause fights or annoy you, they haven’t moved on yet.

They might even act as if it’s their purpose to make your life a living hell. When an ex behaves this way, they are having serious trouble dealing with the breakup.

12. They try to be your friend.

A group of friends enjoying time together indoors. A man and a woman are sitting on a couch, smiling and holding beer bottles. Two other people are standing in the foreground, each holding bottles. A bookshelf with colorful books and decorations is in the background.

Maybe your ex started acting like you’re best buddies. They are taking the whole “let’s stay friends” thing to an extreme.

This is a slippery slope. You and your ex need distance after the breakup if you want to move on.

Sometimes exes do stay friends after a breakup, but only once they’ve moved on. There are just too many mixed feelings for you to truly be friends soon after a breakup.

13. They want to know all about your love life.

A man and a woman sit across from each other at a small table in a brightly-lit cafe. They appear to be engaged in a deep conversation, with their attention focused on each other. A small potted plant and a glass are on the table.

If your ex is showing a lot of interest in your love life, it’s likely that they are only pretending to be over you.

Maybe they ask you if you’ve met anyone or have started dating again. They may also try to get this information from mutual friends or other people you both know.

They may not want to get back together, but they don’t want you to move on either.

14. They joke about getting back together.

Two people are sitting in a modern living room. A woman in a yellow sweater and ripped jeans sits on the floor, leaning against a gray couch, while a man in a red sweater and jeans lounges on the couch, looking at his phone. They appear to be in a conversation.

People sometimes tell the truth by framing it as a joke. If your ex frequently jokes about missing you and getting back together, it’s likely not a joke. Take these kinds of jokes seriously because they often reveal honest emotions.

Even if your ex is trying to be sarcastic, they likely aren’t over you if they’re joking about it. Having a sense of humor is great, but people often use it as a defense mechanism that reveals their hidden desires.

15. They reach out to you out of the blue.

A man sitting at a wooden table, wearing a light blue shirt and a loosened dark blue tie, holds a smartphone to his ear with a serious expression. His other hand is resting on the table, holding a glass of brown liquid, possibly whiskey. The background is dimly lit.

What if you and your ex haven’t talked since the breakup, and then they reach out to you out of the blue?

Maybe they want to tell you that they miss you or they want their stuff back. Either way, they’re still in the process of moving on and haven’t healed completely.

Maybe your ex frequently reaches out to you out of the blue with a lame excuse. This is a clear sign that they’re just pretending to be over you when they still cling to the hope of hooking up again.