If You Don't Want To Feel Lonely For The Rest Of Your Life, Say Goodbye To These 9 Behaviors

Can you prevent loneliness?

A woman with short, tied-back hair gazes thoughtfully out of a window. She is wearing a grey sweater and has her hand resting on the window frame. Green foliage is visible outside the window, suggesting it is daytime.

Every person experiences feelings of loneliness and isolation from time to time. That is normal and to be expected.

What is more difficult is when we experience persistent feelings of loneliness and isolation that follow us regularly.

How can we combat and cope with these feelings? The first step is to make sure you’re NOT doing any of the following.

1. Ignoring the causes.

An elderly woman with short, wavy gray hair gazes thoughtfully out a window. She is wearing a light blue sweater, and the soft light from the window illuminates her face, highlighting her thoughtful expression and the wrinkles on her skin.

We cannot find a solution to a problem until we better understand what the problem is and where it comes from.

Acute loneliness and isolation are often the result of an immediate life change that separates us from our social circles or relationships.

It may be the result of moving, a career change, a bad breakup, or a falling out with a friend or family member.

A person may also experience severe loneliness if they are lied to by a trusted friend, ostracized by their social group, made fun of, or otherwise rejected. We may also feel lonely if we’ve been rejected by a romantic interest.

Long-term loneliness can be fueled by mental illness, chronic physical illnesses that keep us from living an active life, loss of mobility due to sickness or aging.

Identifying your particular cause or causes, is the first step to figuring out how to overcome them.

2. Trying to fit in with the wrong crowd.

People are, broadly speaking, social creatures. Most people need to have some social connections that fit appropriately for them to stave off feelings of loneliness.

Being around people who are a wrong fit in personality or emotional capacity can also make a person lonely.

A person who is unique and doesn’t quite fit into a standard social mold may also feel alone, because they just can’t envision themselves as part of any collective unit.

The world is a huge and diverse place, the chances that there is no one out there with the same interests and quirks as you are slim to none.

If you feel like you don’t fit in with those around you, “finding your tribe” is one of the best ways to combat loneliness.

3. Mistaking social media “interactions” as friendships.

A woman with curly hair, wearing a sleeveless orange top, is smiling while looking at her smartphone. She is seated in a cozy, dimly lit room with patterned wallpaper and soft furniture.

There is a significant problem in this society with shallow friendships and relationships.

Quite a few people flock to social media to try to accumulate a large number of followers, thinking that these people are their friends and actually care about them.

This is a false impression of what friendship truly is. A person may have 100,000 followers and maybe 5 of them are people who genuinely care about the person in the context of a friendship or relationship.

Science is starting to take a greater look at the way social media affects our perceptions and interpersonal connections because of it.

4. Having unrealistic expectations about friends.

An elderly woman with white hair is sitting at a table indoors, holding a cup of coffee. The image is taken through a rain-soaked window, with raindrops clearly visible. A green vase with blue flowers is on the table next to her.

It is important to maintain reasonable expectations and identify unreasonable beliefs.

For example, it is not reasonable to expect a person you have just met to care deeply for you or want to be around you constantly.

Time is a requirement for building trusting, healthy friendships and relationships between people. In many cases, it also requires some disagreements and working to find common ground where the involved people can meet in the middle.

5. Shopping around for the “perfect” match.

A woman with long dark hair sits at a desk holding a smartphone and smiling thoughtfully. She is in a modern, well-lit room with a laptop in front of her, a coffee cup next to her, a bookshelf in the background, and a painting on the wall.

Social media and apps negatively impact that. Don’t want to talk to someone? Just block them and find another one! It’s just not healthy for social skills.

And this phenomenon definitely extends to online dating culture, where people are boiled down to a brief description and a tag-line.

It creates an experience where you’re almost shopping for a perfect match, assuming the person was honest about how they represented themselves to you and the rest of the world.

In reality, perfect matches rarely exist. Everyone is imperfect, and unreasonable standards can cause us to reject people that may have otherwise been a decent fit if not for this one thing or another.

We will always be disappointed if we look for perfection in a friend or lover.

6. Doing nothing.

A man with a closely shaved head and light stubble gazes pensively out of a window. He is wearing a dark jacket and sitting inside a room with soft lighting. The blurred outdoor scene shows hints of a landscape beyond the window.

No problem is solved without determined action.

Unfortunately, the depression that may accompany loneliness can make this task seem insurmountable.

Where do you look? Where do you go? What are the ways that we can actually push back against the loneliness?

The ability to nurture and give love can help counter loneliness to a degree. Pets are an excellent way to combat general loneliness. A dog or a cat can provide joy and comfort, is generally happy to receive love, and will often give their attention and affections back in a pure way.

Plus, you don’t have to worry about them being up to anything shifty, so long as you don’t leave your dinner sitting in a place they can reach!

7. Ignoring self-care.

An older man wearing a yellow hard hat and plaid shirt sits in an industrial setting, yawning with his hand covering his mouth. Various machinery and equipment are visible in the background.

Quality sleep and exercise can also help. The mind produces many mood-balancing chemicals in the deepest stages of sleep. If we do not sleep well, then we can feel much worse about ourselves, the world, and our general position in life.

That trickles down into how we feel about other people, our friendships, and relationships. Lack of or erratic sleep patterns can also contribute to depression, which fuels feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Volunteer work can be an easy way to get out and around, giving you the opportunity to start forging new friendships with people who have similar interests.

Exploring hobbies can be another good option. There are websites out there that facilitate local meet-ups for people who share similar hobbies. Either can be a good way to meet up with new people.

The hardest part for many people is finding the willpower to try to take a step forward – and dealing with the emotional turmoil if things don’t go as planned.

It’s okay if they don’t. We must just keep trying as hard as we can, even if it’s only taking one step at a time on a long journey.

We must remember that our future is not defined by our present. Tomorrow can be better.

8. Not seeking professional support when things get too tough.

A woman in a striped yellow top and blue jeans sits on a couch, gesturing with her hands while speaking to another person wearing a blue shirt and gray pants, who is taking notes on a clipboard. The two are engaged in a conversation, indicating a counseling or therapy session.

Matters of the mind are always tricky in providing perspective on, because some issues reach deeper than what we can handle on our own.

There is no shame in reaching out to a mental health professional if we feel that we cannot tackle the isolation and loneliness on our own.

It can be one of the hardest things we ever have to do, one of the hardest decisions we need to make for ourselves. Don’t allow yourself to minimize your suffering, if you are. You deserve to feel happy, connected, and loved.

But, depression or traumatic experiences can make us feel like we are undeserving of connection, love, affection. That is a lie that mental health conditions can try to convince us of. Don’t listen to them!

9. Hiding your loneliness from others.

A person with short hair, wearing a dark sweater, leans on a balcony railing while holding their head with one hand. They appear contemplative or worried, with a blurred background of buildings and a cloudy sky.

As a lonely person, it is necessary to combat your own thoughts, fears, and anxiety to reach out and try to bridge the gap as much as we can.

Most people are not going to notice a person who feels lonely without some deep prodding and insight. That can turn into a vicious cycle of negatively affirming that no one notices or cares. The issue is that the problem is so subtle that it can be hard to notice.

But that doesn’t mean you are any less deserving of friends, kindness, affection, or love. The first step could be as simple as letting people know you’re missing these things.

What if someone you care about is lonely or isolated?

Two men are sitting at a wooden table in a bar, each holding a beer bottle. The man on the left, looking distressed, has his head resting on his hand. The man on the right is comforting him with a hand on his shoulder. A plate of nachos is on the table.

Reach out to them! Don’t do it via a social media post though. Arrange a meeting or have a verbal conversation with the person via the phone or a chat application.

Verbal and face-to-face conversations have more emotional and social weight behind them that can help a lonely person feel a bit more connected.

So often we find ourselves in our own little world, wrapped up in our thoughts, stresses, and worries. We must make an effort to reach out to the people who wind up getting pushed to the edges of society and social groups because of their loneliness.