10 Self-Sabotaging Behaviors That Signal A Major Lack Of Self-Respect

If you do these things, others will see it as a lack of self-respect.

A man with medium-length brown hair and a beard, wearing a light-colored shirt, gazes thoughtfully while touching his lips with his finger. The background is a blurred, tree-filled outdoor setting.

Do you respect yourself? That’s not always an easy question to answer because it can be difficult to accurately analyze your own thoughts and actions. But other people can often tell if you have self-respect by the way you behave. Here are 10 behaviors that indicate you do not have a lot of respect for yourself.

1. You’re constantly apologizing.

A smiling young woman with long red hair is wearing a striped t-shirt and holding her hands up near her face in a playful gesture. She is standing against a solid light blue background.

Some people apologize even when they aren’t at fault. That tells others that you lack confidence and self-worth. It suggests that you believe other people’s feelings are more important than yours. Furthermore, it tells them that you’re a pushover who can be taken advantage of and who won’t stand up for yourself.

2. You don’t set boundaries.

A woman with shoulder-length reddish-brown hair stands behind a wire fence. She wears a light-colored blouse with a subtle pattern and looks slightly to her left with a calm expression. The background is blurry, showing trees and foliage.

You teach other people how to treat you. In other words, by setting boundaries, you are informing other people what you will and will not accept. If you don’t set boundaries, you can expect other people to walk all over you. It’s not even that they may be malicious—even your friends can cross the line if there is no clear boundary that tells them where to stop.

3. You are a people-pleaser.

A woman with long, wavy hair wearing a white t-shirt stands against a bright yellow background. She is smiling and giving a thumbs-up gesture with her right hand.

You show people that you prioritize others’ approval before your self-respect if you are a people-pleaser. You can’t constantly go out of your way to please others at the expense of your own happiness without them taking advantage of you. You’re signaling to them that they can offload whatever responsibility they want onto you.

4. You allow others to disrespect you.

A woman in a business suit stands in an office, pointing her finger and appearing agitated while speaking to a man whose back is turned to the camera. Various office furniture and equipment, including desks and chairs, are visible in the background.

Tolerating disrespectful behavior signals that you believe that you don’t deserve to be treated with respect. It goes back to teaching other people how to treat you. You can’t allow yourself to be disrespected, whether it’s friends, family, or colleagues. Conflict happens. You must be ready to stand up for yourself if you feel disrespected.

5. You neglect self-care.

A woman with long, messy hair wearing a light gray T-shirt looks upwards with a slightly puzzled or frustrated expression against a plain white background.

Self-care is not just about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs. If you don’t look after yourself, it signals to others that you don’t prioritize your well-being, which shows a lack of self-respect. Self-care matters, not just for you, but to show others you respect and love yourself.

6. You actively avoid conflict.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a beige knit sweater, looks out a window with a pensive expression. One of her hands rests on the window frame while the other touches the glass. The atmosphere appears reflective and calm.

Conflict is an unavoidable part of the human experience. Some people just don’t understand anything other than conflict. You communicate to others that you don’t respect yourself or your well-being if you’re unwilling to engage in conflict. Sometimes it’s the only way to address your issue with another person or stand up for yourself.

7. You settle for less.

A young man with light brown hair, wearing a red jacket and a pair of sunglasses hanging from his shirt, is standing inside a bus, holding an overhead handrail. He is looking ahead with a thoughtful expression. The bus interior and other passengers are visible.

A self-respecting person will not settle for subpar treatment in their relationships, work, or life situations. By not settling, you stop wasting time on things that aren’t meant for you so you can move on to the things that are. Settling shows you lack self-confidence and self-respect.

8. You engage in negative self-talk.

A woman wearing glasses and a dark blazer is standing indoors with a thoughtful expression, resting her hand on her cheek. She has light hair pulled back, and is looking downward. The background features a maroon vertical-striped wall.

Many people who crack self-depreciating jokes think they’re funny. And, it’s true, sometimes it is funny. However, people who don’t feel good about themselves often take it too far, revealing low self-esteem and self-respect instead of just a small bit of humor. Use these jokes sparingly. Furthermore, talking yourself down is a habit you ought to try to break.

9. You overwork yourself.

A stressed woman wearing glasses holds a phone to her ear and rests her forehead on her hand. She is seated at a cluttered desk with a laptop, stacks of papers, folders, and a cup with pens. The background features a brightly lit window.

Pushing yourself to your breaking point by never saying “no” to additional responsibility demonstrates that you don’t value your own time and energy. Granted, it’s not always easy to just say no, particularly if you have a demanding job or boss. Still, you have to find ways to do it or even look for a better environment. Sometimes “no” is distancing yourself from a situation.

10. You compare yourself to others.

Close-up of two women, one in sharp focus and the other blurred in the foreground. The woman in focus has a serious expression and is wearing a gray top, while the blurred woman in the foreground wears a black top. The lighting creates shadows on their faces.

Self-respect means that you’re okay with yourself in whatever form you come in. It may be messy and full of problems, but it’s still you and your life. If you can be okay with your positive and negative qualities, you won’t spend much time comparing yourself to others, nor should you. We are all on this earth to experience our own unique path. That’s something to cherish.