How To Not Let People Get Inside Your Head: 12 Tips That Actually Work

Do these things to stop people getting to you.

A young woman with long brown hair stands in a grassy field. She is wearing a red sweater and looking off to the side with a thoughtful expression, her arms crossed and one hand touching her opposite shoulder. The background features blurred greenery.

Do you find that you’re deeply affected by other people’s words and opinions? That you keep going over things they’ve said and second-guess your own thoughts and feelings as a result? Here are 12 ways to stop them from taking up residence in your head.

1. Ask yourself why this person’s opinions would matter to you.

A person with curly hair and a blue hoodie stands behind a pink climbing rope net, holding the ropes with both hands and looking through the gaps in the net. The background is blurred and features outdoor play equipment in muted colors.

Would you go to this person for advice about an important life decision? If not, why would their opinion matter to you? Whenever you feel yourself fretting over something someone has said to you, ask yourself whether this person’s position in your life merits any further attention from you.

2. Practice Dispassion.

A woman with a braid stands outdoors with her arms outstretched, smiling and looking to the side. She is wrapped in a blue towel and has a background of tall grass and trees. The weather appears to be sunny.

If someone gets insulting towards you or tries to change your mind about a subject that’s important to you, rein in your emotions and try to experience the exchange as an impartial observer. If you don’t allow yourself to be affected emotionally by other people, they’ll have no influence over you.

3. Be as present and mindful as possible.

A person with long brown hair, red lipstick, and a black beanie stands outdoors in front of bare branches. They are wearing a denim jacket with a fleece collar and have a thoughtful expression. The branches have small buds on them.

You aren’t still chewing and digesting a meal that you ate a month ago, so why keep ruminating on what someone said around the same time? Remain in the present moment and focus entirely on what’s going on now: what’s passed is past and should remain there without obsessing over further.

4. Don’t take anything personally.

A man with curly hair and a beard is smiling while standing outdoors on a sunny day. He is wearing a patterned short-sleeved shirt. Trees, buildings, and a parked white car are visible in the background.

The way people behave towards you indicates who (and how) they are as individuals, rather than anything about you as a person. As such, if someone is cruel or insulting towards you, recognize that behavior as indicative of what’s going on inside them. It doesn’t reflect anything about you at all.

5. Examine their intentions.

A woman sits on a pillow on the floor in front of a bed with a checkered bedspread. She is wearing a white tank top and floral pajama pants, with her arms resting on her knees and looking thoughtfully to the side. The room has a calm and serene atmosphere.

Understanding a person’s intention frees you from any negativity associated with it. Once you comprehend why a person is behaving a certain way, it’s entirely your choice how you respond to them. Even if they’re trying to get a reaction out of you, you can choose not to say anything in response.

6. Educate yourself as much as possible.

A young woman with long hair sits at a wooden picnic table outdoors, engrossed in reading a book. She is wearing a light-colored shirt, and the background features lush green trees and grass, suggesting a serene and peaceful park setting.

Some people prey on others’ perceived ignorance in a subject in an attempt to dominate or manipulate them. You can counteract these attempts by ensuring that you’re as well-educated and informed as possible. That way, you can spot hogwash when you see it and won’t wonder if their words have any merit.

7. Don’t let comparisons affect you.

A man with a short, brown hair and a beard, wearing a light purple t-shirt, sits indoors with a pensive expression, resting his head on his hand. The background is dimly lit with a warm light bulb visible.

Whoever coined the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy” was quite correct. You’re a glorious manifestation of the universe, and as such can’t be compared to anyone else. If someone is trying to make you feel lesser because you’re different, take that difference as a massive compliment instead.

8. Remove yourself from the situation.

Person wearing a hat, blue plaid shirt, and a backpack, walking on a dirt path through a forested area under sunlight. The individual is facing away from the camera, with trees and greenery on either side of the path.

This works particularly well if someone is intentionally overstepping an established boundary or trying to goad you into an argument. There’s absolutely nothing stopping you from walking away to show them that their behavior is unacceptable. By leaving, you’re physically preventing them from affecting you further, on your own terms.

9. Distract yourself with positive things if needed.

A woman practices a yoga pose outdoors on a sunny day with a clear blue sky and clouds in the background. She is wearing a black sports bra and maroon leggings, balancing on one leg with her arms extended, looking peaceful and focused.

If you find that you’re having difficulty remaining unaffected by a person’s words or actions, focus on a project or distraction that requires your full attention. Follow along with a challenging yoga video, or do a craft that you can immerse in fully. Essentially, replace their poison with something beautiful instead.

10. Have complete confidence in your stance.

A woman with curly red hair, wearing a striped dress, is walking through a green park. She appears relaxed and content as she strolls along a tree-lined path with lush foliage in the background.

When you’re wholly confident and firm in your opinion or conviction, nothing anyone says could sway you from it. They might make pathetic little attempts, but their actions will have as much of an effect as trying to move a mountain with their bare hands.

11. See them as belligerent children.

A woman with shoulder-length blonde hair is standing against a light pink background. She is wearing a colorful striped sweater and a watch on her wrist. She looks angry, with her mouth open and fists raised.

If a person is trying to put you down or insult you, ask yourself if the words they’re saying would damage you if they came from a seven-year-old child. Chances are you’d just laugh and never give their insults a second thought. So why give these “grown-ups” any credence?

12. Realize that their opinions simply don’t matter.

A man with short black hair and a black t-shirt is taking a selfie. He is raising his right hand, palm facing the camera, as if gesturing to stop or hold. His expression appears serious. The background is plain and neutral.

Opinions are rather like body orifices: everyone has them, but their size, shape, and functionality aren’t that important to anyone else. If someone sees fit to inflict their thoughts and opinions on you, simply nod, smile, and get back to what actually matters to you in the grand scheme of things.