12 Signs You Are In A Convenience Relationship That's Devoid Of Love

Is your relationship purely for convenience?

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a white shirt, sits on a couch with her hand propping up her head, looking contemplative. A man with short hair, dressed in a white t-shirt, sits slightly out of focus in the background, also on the couch.

Do you ever look at your relationship and wonder whether you actually have a romantic partner, or an emotionally distant housemate? Check out the 12 signs below to see if any of them seem familiar, as they indicate a convenience relationship, rather than a loving partnership.

1. Your partner treats your relationship like a business arrangement.

A woman with long hair is sitting and looking down thoughtfully, while a man sits behind her, glancing in her direction with a hand on his neck. Both appear to be indoors with a bright, softly lit background.

The two of you “divide and conquer” tasks that need doing, delegating responsibilities to one another and reporting on progress as though you’re colleagues. Gift-giving is transactional rather than thoughtful, and far more attention is paid to income, investments, and home maintenance than anything emotional between the two of you.

2. Dates that are important to you don’t matter to them.

A young man and woman stand next to a brick wall, both wearing white tops. The woman, with silver hair, leans on the man's shoulder while looking into the distance. The man, with short dark hair, looks towards her with a neutral expression.

Your partner may find it ridiculous to place importance on “silly” dates like your anniversary, birthday, or holiday celebrations. If you have a special work event coming up, or if you’re having a medical procedure done, they don’t want to hear about it. Essentially, you’re on your own: don’t bother them.

3. Communication between you is short and terse.

A man and woman sit at a table in a kitchen, both resting their chins on their hands with thoughtful, concerned expressions. The man looks at the woman, while she gazes downward. Various kitchen items are visible on shelves in the background.

When and if you communicate at all, the focus is on how things are working or what needs to be taken care of, rather than how you’re both doing. Acceptable topics may include how the kids are doing at school, or new kitchen appliances, as long as the exchanges are brief.

4. You never do anything together.

A man wearing sunglasses, a striped button-up shirt, white shorts, and striped slip-on shoes sits on a stone ledge in front of an ornate orange and gray wall with a wooden door. He has his arms crossed over his knee and looks into the distance.

All your respective pursuits are solitary. You don’t watch films or TV together, and if there are family events, you go on your own, rather than accompanying one another to theirs. The two of you may have eaten separately for years, and certainly wouldn’t go out to a meal together.

5. You get little to no support when dealing with emotional or health hardships.

A man and woman sit closely together on a beige sofa in a cozy living room. The man has his arm around the back of the sofa, while the woman holds a pillow and looks at him. A wooden coffee table in front of them has croissants and two cups of coffee.

You might come home with a freshly casted broken arm and they’ll just ask if the internet bill has been paid, since it’s your turn this month. If you fall ill, they’ll suggest that one of your friends or family members come to take care of you, or recommend a hospital stay.

6. Everything feels one-sided, with strong evidence to support that feeling.

A man with a beard and a woman with blonde hair stand next to each other, looking forward. The man is in focus in the foreground, wearing a white shirt, while the woman is out of focus in the background, dressed in a black top, against a white and black backdrop.

For every 50 chores or responsibilities you take care of, they may do one, and that’s half-heartedly, and superficially. Similarly, they might complain about all the household chores they take care of, but can’t tell you where the kitchen mop is, and they don’t know how to use the washing machine.

7. Every attempt to connect emotionally is met with evasion or hostility.

A woman with light brown hair rests her head on the shoulder of a man with short brown hair. They are standing close to each other, with the woman looking off into the distance. The background is blurry and appears to be an outdoor setting, possibly near water.

They have no interest in discussing anything emotional with you and will find ways to evade or cut short any attempt to do so. Your partner might call you pathetic and needy if you want to talk about your feelings, and sneer at suggestions about cultivating closeness as a couple.

8. If there is physical intimacy, it’s perfunctory and brief.

A man and a woman lie on a bed, resting their heads on their hands and looking bored or tired. Both have neutral or slightly unhappy expressions. The man is wearing a sleeveless shirt and the woman has curly hair. They appear to be in a bedroom setting.

It’s likely that the two of you haven’t been physical in known memory, but if there has been any intimacy recently, it’s likely been brief and utterly unromantic. There’s no buildup nor cuddling afterwards: just getting the job done, so to speak, followed by silence and personal distance after the task.

9. Discussions center around their needs, but never your own.

A woman sitting on a couch raises her hand to signal stop, turning her head away from a man who appears to be talking to her. She looks upset, while the man, wearing a yellow shirt, gestures with his hands, seemingly trying to explain or communicate something.

They may need a new laptop or some dental work done, but they never ask whether there’s anything you need replaced or taken care of. If you mention anything of the sort, they’ll get dismissive and expect you to sort that out yourself, while re-centering the discussion on their own needs.

10. There’s no conflict resolution: just “moving on”.

A woman with long hair, wearing a pink sweater and a watch, rests her head on her hand while sitting on a couch, looking thoughtful. A blurred person in a checkered shirt sits in the background. The scene appears to be indoors with soft lighting.

When and if you do argue, there’s no attempt made to resolve things between you: instead, you’re expected to just drop the issue and carry on as if nothing happened. If nothing that you argued about changes, and you try to bring up the issue again, they’ll simply walk away or leave.

11. They have little interest in your interests or achievements.

A close-up of a man and a woman sitting together against a white brick wall, both looking in different directions. The man, in an orange shirt, appears contemplative, while the woman, in a tan sweater, has a serious expression.

Your partner shows little to no interest in anything you put energy and care towards. They may grunt in response if you tell them about the hobby you’re enjoying, mostly so you’ll stop talking about it, and if you gain accolades for achievements that matter to you, they just don’t care.

12. There are few expressions of care or love, if at all.

A woman with a concerned expression looks right while a man with crossed arms sits on a bed in the background. Both appear to be in a bedroom setting, and the focus is on the woman's face, suggesting a tense or serious moment between them.

While your partner may have told you that they love you early on in the relationship, you haven’t heard any loving expressions for some time. They don’t ever let you know that you’re appreciated, and if they give you an obligatory birthday or holiday gift, it’s practical and useful. Never sentimental.