12 Reasons Why Men Find Strong Women Intimidating

Many men find strong women intimidating.

A woman stands at a table discussing something with a group of colleagues in a bright office. She is gesturing with her hands while the others, seated, listen and look at documents. A laptop sits open on the table in front of one of the seated men.

Men often tell assertive, self-confident women that they’re intimidating, but they rarely explain why. Here are 12 possible reasons why men may find women’s strength unnerving.

1. They’re insecure about their own masculinity.

A woman stands beside a window, holding a phone to her ear and a sheet of paper in the other hand, smiling. A man with short dark hair, dressed in a suit, sits at a desk with a laptop, focusing on her. Light pours in through large windows.

Some men feel emotionally or physically insecure, and thus need to feel dominant in their relationships. As a result, if a woman is taller, stronger, more assertive, or in a position of superiority over them, they take it as a personal attack on their masculinity and become defensive.

2. They feel uncomfortable about breaking traditional gender roles.

A woman in a red cardigan stands confidently, leaning on a desk in a modern, open-plan office. She looks into the camera, while in the background, a man works at a computer. The office is brightly lit with natural light from large windows.

Depending on their cultural and personal backgrounds, men may feel uncomfortable when their perception of traditional gender roles is broken, such as if they have a female manager, or if their girlfriend or wife makes more money than they do. They have immense difficulty dealing with the cognitive dissonance they were raised with.

3. They feel that they might be replaceable.

A woman in a gray blazer sits on a chair facing the camera, resting her chin on her hand, against a plain white background. She has long, dark wavy hair and a neutral expression.

For some men, love isn’t enough: they want their female partners to be somehow dependent upon them to lessen the possibility of losing them to other men. As such, they’ll choose smaller, vulnerable, submissive women with low self-esteem who rely on them for protection, strength, and financial support.

4. They feel that their masculinity is being challenged.

A man with short dark hair and light eyes looks directly at the camera with a serious expression. He is wearing a dark shirt and a light scarf. The background is slightly blurred with a mix of outdoor elements and patterned surfaces.

Some men may feel that the foundations of their masculinity are being undermined if and when the women around them are strong and assertive, especially if they were raised in conservative, patriarchal environments. To them, women should forever be quiet, gentle, demure creatures who remain invisible until a meal is being served.

5. They have an unchecked instinct towards natural male competition.

A man in a suit gestures passionately while talking to a woman seated at a desk with a laptop. Both are in a brightly lit room with brick walls and large windows. The desk is cluttered with papers, pens, a coffee cup, and other office items.

Some men find it hurtful for a woman to have great suggestions that will help a situation, especially in the workplace or in institutions of higher learning. A man may become competitive and seek to gain dominance here, whereas she won’t understand why he isn’t interested in working together as a team.

6. An invisibility complex.

A confident woman with long gray hair wears glasses and a light-colored blazer. She stands with her arms crossed, looking directly at the camera against a plain gray background.

A man who has gone through life feeling invisible or overlooked may feel even smaller in the presence of a strong, assertive woman. This is especially true if she has more physical presence than he does, as he may feel that he won’t be noticed or acknowledged by those he seeks to impress.

7. Fear of rejection.

A young man with short brown hair and a neatly trimmed red beard stands against a light blue-gray background. He is wearing a pink and white striped shirt and looking directly at the camera with a neutral expression.

A man who’s looking for a partner may feel that a strong woman would be more likely to reject him than a meek and passive one. Although they may be more attracted to powerful and assertive women, their fear of being rejected overrides their inclinations and pushes them toward easier targets instead.

8. They feel like they’re not “needed”.

A young man in glasses and a checkered shirt stands in front of neon lights, gazing into the distance. The colorful lights create a vibrant and moody atmosphere, reflecting off the glass behind him.

A strong woman is usually capable on numerous fronts and can change a tire or fix a plumbing issue as easily as she can write computer code (or similar). As such, some men feel like they won’t be “needed” by a woman like this, and thus have nothing to offer them.

9. They enjoy the feeling of unchecked dominance.

A man with a red beard and short red hair is wearing a black suit, white shirt, and lavender tie. He is outdoors, with a blurred background of greenery, gesturing with his right hand near his temple while looking slightly to the right of the camera.

Strong women have no problem saying “NO” to situations or ideas that don’t resonate with them, and will establish and defend their boundaries firmly. This ability is fervently disliked by men who like to be dominant in their relationships: they don’t like to be disagreed with, and prefer people-pleasers instead.

10. Their identity is wrapped up in their capabilities or achievements.

A person with short pink hair, wearing glasses and a black turtleneck, stands with arms crossed. They have multiple tattoos on their arms and neck. The background is dim, with white chairs aligned in a row.

A man whose identity (ego) is tied to his education or achievements may feel lessened by a woman who has achieved the same things that he has. He may enjoy feeling more learned or skilled than others, so he’ll feel undermined and small if someone else—especially a woman—has matched his status.

11. Deep-seated misogyny.

A man in a suit with a red tie is using a red marker to point at a transparent screen featuring four red human icons, with one being female and the rest male. The background is a blurred office setting with bright natural light.

Some men aren’t even aware of the misogyny they feel on a fundamental level. Since they don’t feel that women have valid opinions or should be in leadership, they get intimidated and aggressive towards strong women whom they feel have unfairly “stolen” positions of authority from worthy men.

12. They don’t have much experience with women.

A man wearing a black hooded rain jacket stands outside in the rain. His hood is up, with wet hair peeking out. The expression on his face is neutral or slightly solemn. The blurred background suggests a rainy urban setting.

Men who haven’t had much experience with women—especially intimately—may feel intensely insecure about their skills, or lack thereof. As such, a strong woman who knows what she likes and what she’s doing will scare them into paralysis, so they go for naive, inexperienced women who won’t judge them.