If you don’t want life to be so hard, say goodbye to these 13 behaviors

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Stop doing these things for an easier life.

A woman in a black t-shirt and blue jeans stands indoors, holding her head with both hands, appearing frustrated or stressed. A wooden room divider, a wall painting, and a plant are visible in the background.

Life is hard. There’s no getting away from that fact.

But there are many ways you might be making it harder for yourself, without even realizing it.

If you do any of the following, it’s time for a change. It’s time to make life easier by turning these things on their heads and doing the complete opposite.

1. Stop being afraid to ask for help.

A woman with long, wavy hair wearing a light blue shirt stands against a grey background, nervously holding a closed white laptop. She looks concerned or anxious, with a tense expression on her face.

Many people struggle with asking for help. Whether it’s due to pride, fear of rejection or embarrassment, or a belief that they should be able to handle everything on their own, refusing to ask for help can make life much harder than it has to be.

When you don’t ask for help, you may end up spending more time and energy trying to solve a problem than is necessary. This can lead to frustration and burnout, and sometimes even make the problem worse.

Refusing to ask for help can also lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. You may start to believe that no one else understands or cares about your struggles.

Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It takes courage and strength to admit that you need assistance, and seeking help can often lead to better outcomes and a more fulfilling life.

2. Stop thinking you can find happiness outside of you.

A man in a white t-shirt and dark jacket sits outdoors in a park-like setting, with trees and grass in the background. He is looking down with a thoughtful or contemplative expression. The scene is illuminated by soft, natural sunlight.

Many people believe that happiness comes from external fac
tors such as money, relationships, and material possessions. However, these things only provide temporary happiness and do not lead to long-term fulfillment.

When we rely on external factors for our happiness, we give away our power and control over our lives. We become dependent on things and people outside of ourselves, which can lead to disappointment and frustration when those things do not meet our expectations.

To find true happiness, we must look within ourselves. Only here can we discover the never-ending source of peace and contentment that we’re looking for.

3. Stop saying yes when you want to say no.

A person in a gray sweater gives a thumbs-up with their right hand while giving a thumbs-down with their left hand. The individual’s head and face are not visible in the image. The background is blurred.

Do you find yourself constantly saying yes to things you don’t want to do? Maybe it’s because you don’t want to disappoint someone or you feel like you have to say yes to be polite. Whatever the reason, saying yes when you want to say no can make your life harder than it has to be.

Saying yes creates responsibility, and meeting that responsibility eats up your time, energy, and other precious resources.

It’s okay to say no. You don’t have to do everything that’s asked of you. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s important to prioritize your own needs and boundaries.

4. Stop taking everything personally.

A woman with long brown hair is frowning and resting her chin on her hand while looking off to the side. She has a puzzled and slightly annoyed expression on her face. The background is a solid blue color.

Do you often feel like people are out to get you? Do you take every little thing that happens in your life as a personal attack? If so, you may be making life harder than it has to be.

Taking everything personally can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, and it can strain your relationships with others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everything that happens is about you. But the truth is, most people are focused on their own lives and problems, and they’re not thinking about you at all.

When you take everything personally, you’re essentially giving other people the power to control your emotions. You’re allowing their words and actions to dictate how you feel, which can be exhausting and disempowering.

Taking everything personally can lead to a narrow, self-centered view of the world. You may be missing out on opportunities for growth and learning because you’re too focused on your own feelings.

5. Stop having unrealistic expectations of others.

A woman with long brown hair and a white plaid shirt sits at a table, with her hand raised in a questioning gesture. An open notebook, a tablet, and a coffee cup are on the table in front of her. She appears to be engaged in a conversation with someone out of frame.

Whether it’s your family, friends, or coworkers, expecting too much from them can lead to disappointment and frustration.

For example, you might expect your partner to always know what you’re thinking or want without having to communicate it clearly. Or you might expect your coworkers to always meet your high standards without giving them the necessary resources or support.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own limitations and strengths. It’s unfair to expect others to meet your expectations without taking into account their own abilities and circumstances.

By having more realistic expectations of others, you can avoid unnecessary stress and conflict in your relationships.

6. Stop waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

A middle-aged woman with short blonde hair and wearing a white shirt stands outdoors with her arms crossed. She has a serious expression and is looking off into the distance. The background features green trees and sunlight filtering through the leaves.

Do you always expect the worst to happen? Do you find yourself constantly worrying about what could go wrong? This kind of negative thinking is exhausting.

When you’re always waiting for the next bad thing to happen, you’re not living in the present moment. Instead, you’re stuck in a cycle of fear and anxiety about the future. This can lead to a lack of motivation and a feeling of helplessness.

The truth is, bad things do happen and you can’t always avoid them. But there’s no point spending your life constantly on alert for the next catastrophe.

7. Stop trying to be the person others want you to be.

Two women sitting on a bench outdoors, engaged in conversation. One woman, with wavy hair, wears a light pink blazer and white top, gesturing with her hands. The other woman, with a bun, wears a floral blouse and holds a coffee cup. Green plants are in the background.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is trying to be the person others want you to be.

It’s natural to want to fit in and be accepted, but when you prioritize other people’s expectations over your own needs and desires, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary stress and frustration.

When you try to be the person others want you to be, you’re essentially living your life for them instead of yourself. You’re constantly seeking validation and approval from others, and you’re never truly happy because you’re not living in alignment with your own values and beliefs.

It’s important to remember that you’re the only person who knows what’s best for you. You have your own unique talents, passions, and interests, and you should never feel like you have to hide or suppress them to fit in with others.

8. Stop participating in other people’s drama.

Two women sit on a park bench. The woman on the left appears upset, holding a tissue to wipe her tears, while the woman on the right, wearing a colorful scarf, offers comfort by placing a hand on her shoulder. Trees and a path are visible in the background.

It’s easy to get caught up in other people’s drama. Whether it’s a co-worker’s gossip, a friend’s relationship issues, or a family member’s financial problems, it can be tempting to get involved and offer your opinion or help.

However, participating in other people’s drama can make your life harder than it has to be.

When you get involved in other people’s drama, you’re taking on their problems as your own. You’re investing your time, energy, and emotions into something that doesn’t directly affect you. This can be draining and stressful, and it can take away from your own happiness and well-being.

What’s more, getting involved in other people’s drama can cause conflict and tension in your own relationships. If you’re constantly talking about other people’s problems or taking sides in conflicts, it can create negativity and drama in your own life.

9. Stop worrying that you’ll lose everything.

A woman with curly dark hair is leaning her head on her hand, looking contemplative. She is wearing a white sweater and has a thoughtful expression on her face. The background is softly blurred, putting the focus on her face and emotions.

Do you often worry about losing your job, your relationship, your health, or your possessions? This kind of thinking can be paralyzing and prevent you from enjoying the present moment.

While it’s natural to have some concerns about the future, excessive worrying can lead to anxiety, stress, and even depression.

Do you focus on the worst-case scenarios and ignore the positive possibilities? Do you assume that you can’t handle adversity or that you won’t be able to cope with change? Do you believe that your worth is determined by external factors, such as your job title, your income, or your social status?

If you recognize yourself in any of these thought patterns, try to shift your mindset and adopt a more optimistic and realistic view of the world. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, focus on what you can do to improve your situation and build resilience.

Remember, worrying won’t change the outcome, but it can rob you of your peace of mind and prevent you from living your life to the fullest.

10. Stop cutting corners.

A man with short hair stands in partial shadow, touching his head as sunlight filters through blinds, casting striped patterns on his face and shirt. He wears a light-colored polo shirt and gazes slightly downward with a contemplative expression.

Do you often find yourself taking shortcuts to get things done quickly? While this may seem like a good idea at the time, it can actually make your life harder in the long run.

Rushing through tasks without paying attention to detail can lead to mistakes that need to be fixed later on. Skipping steps in a process can cause you to miss important information or overlook critical details. Ignoring warning signs or red flags can lead to bigger problems down the road. Choosing the easy way out instead of doing what is right can damage your reputation and relationships.

By cutting corners, you may be sacrificing quality for speed or convenience. This can ultimately lead to more stress, frustration, and even failure.

11. Stop lying to yourself.

A woman with long dark hair sits with her arms resting on her knees, looking down with a pensive expression. She is wearing a light gray sweater and blue jeans. The background is blurred, giving a sense of contemplation or concern.

One of the most common ways we make our lives harder than they have to be is by lying to ourselves. We tell ourselves things that aren’t true, and we believe them. These lies can be about anything from our abilities to our relationships to our goals.

One common lie we tell ourselves is that we’re not good enough. We think we’re not smart enough or talented enough or attractive enough to achieve our goals, so we don’t even try. We convince ourselves that we’re not capable of success, and we give up before we even start.

Another lie we tell ourselves is that we don’t have enough time. We say we’re too busy to exercise or learn a new skill or spend time with our loved ones. But the truth is, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. It’s up to us to decide how we use them.

We also lie to ourselves about our relationships. We stay in toxic relationships because we tell ourselves that we’re not worthy of something better. We convince ourselves that we need the other person to be happy, even though they’re making us miserable.

It’s important to recognize when we’re lying to ourselves so we can stop. We need to be honest with ourselves about our abilities, our goals, and our relationships. Only then can we start making real progress and living our best lives.

12. Stop being passive and reactive.

A man with short hair and tattoos on his neck and hands stands indoors, looking to the side. He is wearing a long-sleeved black shirt. The background features chairs and large windows letting in natural light.

You wait for things to happen to you instead of taking control of your life and making things happen for yourself. You’re always reacting to situations instead of being proactive and taking action to prevent problems from occurring in the first place.

Being passive and reactive can lead to missed opportunities and a lack of progress in your personal and professional life. You may find yourself stuck in a rut, unable to move forward or make any significant changes. You may also find yourself constantly dealing with problems and putting out fires instead of focusing on your goals and aspirations.

13. Stop playing it safe.

A man with a serious expression stands against a gray background. He is wearing a white dress shirt with beige suspenders and has a bald head. The lighting casts a soft shadow on the wall behind him.

Playing it safe is a natural human tendency. We all want to avoid risks and protect ourselves from failure. But sometimes, playing it safe can hold us back from achieving our goals and enjoying life to the fullest.

It’s easy to stick to what you know and avoid trying new things. But this can prevent you from discovering new passions and expanding your horizons.

You might like to feel comfortable, but don’t mistake stagnation for comfort. With stagnation, everything stays the same, but the absence of change can leave you feeling uncomfortable. You’ll experience an inner unrest that stems from a lack of excitement and growth.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.