12 Behaviors That Reveal An Unhappily Married Man

Do you see these behaviors in your husband or a man you know?

A man with a beard and short hair rests his head on his hand, looking pensive while seated on a couch. In the blurred background, a woman with blonde hair sits turned away from him, also lost in thought. The setting appears to be a modern living room.

A man who’s unhappily married may not have to say as much for others to know that he’s miserable. If he displays any of the behaviors listed here, he’s not in a good place as far as his relationship goes.

1. He avoids being at home as much as possible.

A man with short brown hair and a beard, wearing a grey t-shirt, is sitting at a table outdoors. He appears to be deep in thought, looking down at something out of the frame. The background is blurred with greenery and a patio setting.

Men like it when their home is a place of peace and solace, rather than a battlefield. If both tensions and voices rise as soon as he sets foot in the door, he’ll stay away from home as often as he can, whether by working overtime or socializing with friends.

2. He won’t honestly discuss how he feels about things.

A bearded man in a gray shirt and plaid pajama bottoms sits on the edge of a bed, looking distressed with his hand on his temple. A woman in the background, wearing a pink shirt, sits on the bed facing away, creating a tense atmosphere.

If anyone tries to raise the topic of how he’s feeling, he’ll change the subject or find something important that he must attend to immediately. He does this because if he were to explain how he felt, it would create more stress and require action to fix the situation.

3. He complains about everything except what’s upsetting him.

A woman with long dark hair looks away with a frustrated expression, resting her chin on her hand. A man with curly hair, wearing a striped shirt and denim jacket, gestures passionately while talking to her. They are outdoors with blurred greenery in the background.

He’ll find things to criticize and complain about in every single aspect of his life, except for the real issue at hand. If it isn’t the weather or politics, then it’s how the neighbors aren’t cutting the lawn often enough, or that his favorite mustard brand doesn’t taste right anymore.

4. He’s seeking attention and/or satisfaction elsewhere.

A man and a woman are sitting at a wooden table in a modern office setting. They are smiling and engaged in a conversation. On the table are a laptop, a tablet, a notebook, glasses, and a cup holding various pens and pencils.

If he isn’t getting intimacy and affection at home—in any form—then it’s more than likely he’s seeking it out elsewhere. Some men veer towards adult content to get their needs met, while others may have affairs with their coworkers or acquaintances.

5. He has difficulty saying his wife’s name authentically.

A man and woman sit at a table in an outdoor cafe, both resting their heads on their hands and looking downcast. The woman has long blonde hair and is wearing a white top and pink skirt. The man has short dark hair and is wearing a blue shirt.

Always listen to the way a person speaks your name because it reveals a lot about how they truly feel about you. If he says his wife’s name in an overly enthusiastic manner (as if he’s overcompensating), or in a muted, sullen, or resentful tone, that will speak volumes about their marital discord.

6. He’s always immersed in something to keep his mind off the situation.

A person with short hair, seen from behind, is holding a video game controller and playing a soccer video game on a large screen. The room is dimly lit with a pink and blue glow, illuminating the player and the screen.

Always keeping busy is a huge sign that he’s unhappy in his marriage. This isn’t a cue to stop what he’s doing, as it’s his heatsink. Rather than trying to change his behavior, make “home” a place that he wants to be of his own volition, not because he’s coerced to do so.

7. He expresses his dissatisfaction with his own living situation by proxy.

A man and woman are sitting at a table by a window, having a conversation. The woman gestures with one hand while holding a glass with a drink in the other. There are croissants and cups on the table. The setting appears to be a bright, sunny room.

He’ll “ask for a friend” or mention something that “a buddy” is struggling with. “My friend’s wife spends too much money” or “my colleague’s marriage is falling apart from lack of intimacy”, and so on. Essentially, an oblique discussion rather than a direct one, trying to seed ideas without being confrontational.

8. He tries to solve other people’s problems instead of focusing on his own.

Two men in plaid shirts are sitting on logs in a forest clearing. One is holding a bottle while the other, next to a chainsaw, has his arms resting on his knees. A backpack is on the ground near them. Tall trees and green foliage surround the scene.

Since he’s unable to resolve the issues in his own life, he hyper-focuses on other people’s problems. He may take a vested interest in his friends’ golf scores and offer advice on how to fix them, or tell them how they should fix the problems in their own relationships.

9. He’s taking part in more addictive behaviors than usual.

A man with a beard lounges on a white couch, holding a remote control in one hand and a green beer bottle in the other. He is wearing a red plaid shirt over a grey t-shirt. A bookshelf filled with books is blurred in the background.

If he isn’t drinking heavily or constantly high, he may spend all his time doom-scrolling on his phone. Essentially, whatever pastimes or indulgences brought him a measure of peace or pleasure before is now a source of constant self-soothing. If he didn’t have addictive behaviors beforehand, he may develop them now.

10. He’ll “kick the dog”.

A young boy stands in the foreground with his hands over his ears, looking downcast. In the background, an adult man sitting on a couch appears to be yelling, with his mouth open and arms extended. The setting is a bright, airy room with soft lighting.

Since he’s unable to express his unhappiness authentically, he’ll direct his anger, irritability, frustration, and so on at those who are easy targets in an attempt to alleviate the unwanted emotions within him. These may include his children, employees, or even pets, who will bear the brunt of his misery without just cause.

11. He’s shut down.

A man with short dark hair and a beard, wearing a blue sweater, rests his head on his hand while sitting on a white sofa. He appears deep in thought, with a window and a green plant visible in the background.

He may not interact with anyone unless forced to do so, and then won’t make eye contact. He’ll shy away from physical touch, will show signs of severe depression, will likely be reclusive, and may sleep more than he usually does as a means of escaping the reality of his home life.

12. He’s completely avoidant.

A person wearing a green hoodie leans their forehead against a glass window, eyes closed and with a pensive expression. The background shows an air conditioning unit and part of a balcony or exterior structure.

A man who seems to live in a fantasy realm, refusing to deal with anything tangible, is a seriously unhappy man. He may obsess about hobbies and make-believe worlds, and will redirect any discussion to his hyperfixation. He knows things are bad at home but refuses to face the reality of his situation.