11 Things Generous People Do That Selfish People Don't

Are you generous?

A smiling person with curly hair holds a phone to their ear. They are dressed in a grey top with a lighter grey cardigan. The background is blurred and brightly lit.

It’s so easy to slip into a selfish mentality. Life is tough and we have bills to pay. Time gets eaten up by responsibilities, family, work, and the general maintenance of conducting one’s life.

As time goes on, our focus narrows on our own needs and responsibilities unless we make an effort to prevent it, particularly if we are at a point in our life where we aren’t doing as well as we hoped we would be.

Selfishness is a state in which we find ourselves if we don’t make generosity a priority.

And why should we?

Well, because generosity is a powerful thing. The smallest acts of selflessness and generosity can provide ripple effects that benefit humanity as a whole.

A small act of kindness to one person might be paid forward by that person to others and so on.

And generous people tend to be happier, finding good feelings in acts of altruism and making a difference in the lives of the people that benefit from their generosity.

Here are 11 things that generous people do, that selfish people tend to forget.

1. They ask other people how their day is going.

Two women sitting at a table holding coffee mugs and engaged in conversation. One wears a red and white striped shirt while the other wears a pink shirt. There are plants and curtains in the background, and both women appear happy and engaged.

Asking another person how their day is going and genuinely listening without expectation is an easy, yet excellent way to cultivate empathy and generosity.

Listening to another person gives you an opportunity to see the world through different eyes for a few minutes, it helps take some of the emotional load off of another person’s shoulders, and it builds human connection.

2. They reach out to check on friends and family.

A woman in a plaid blazer smiles while talking on the phone at her desk. She reaches for a pen from a holder. The desk has office supplies, a pair of glasses, and a decorative lamp. Shelves with plants and folders are visible in the background.

Life gets busy, but generous people make it a habit to regularly reach out to their circle of friends and family to find out how they are and what they have going on.

You can try this too, just set one day a week to check in on people. They may not be able to talk regularly, but they will appreciate that you took the time to see how they are doing.

Giving your time to the well-being of your friends and family is a generous act that will help strengthen your relationships.

3. They practice gratitude regularly.

A man with a beard and a shaved head is sitting at a desk, writing in a notebook with a pen. He is wearing an orange jacket over a white shirt and is smiling while looking down. A laptop is open in front of him, and large windows are in the background.

Generous people are grateful people. They know they are blessed, and they aren’t afraid to share those blessings.

And it’s easy to grow your own sense of generosity by practicing gratitude.

Make it a point to consider the things you are grateful for regularly and always be looking for new things to add to your list.

Even in a dark place, it is helpful to be thankful for what we have because it helps us to look outside of our struggles and realize that there are better things ahead of us.

Gratitude helps us assign value to that which we have in our lives, which fosters positive emotions when we share with others.

4. They donate to organizations or causes that matter to them.

Volunteers distribute food and drinks to people outdoors. A young girl with a "VOLUNTEER" shirt hands a bottle to someone. In the background, other volunteers, also wearing similar shirts, serve the recipients while surrounded by food and supplies.

A donation to an organization or cause that matters to you helps those people do valuable work that you may not be able to with your own hands. It’s an incredibly generous act.

Charities and organizations that are working for the betterment of other people are often strapped for resources and will value any contribution they receive.

Donating your time is a good way to get hands on involved and serve those who need some additional help.

5. They put the needs of others before their own wants.

A woman with glasses kisses a smiling child on the cheek while holding them in her arms on a busy street. The child is giggling and wearing a blue hoodie. In the background, there are several people walking and a no parking sign is visible.

A simple but not easy act of generosity and unselfishness is to put the needs of another before your own wants.

This dynamic plays out most often in relationships, though it can work in general life and with friends.

A need is something integral that the person requires at the moment. A want is unessential, something that isn’t necessary at the moment, but would just be favorable under a given circumstance.

It makes sense to put another person’s needs before your wants, but it’s not something we all necessarily do. Generous people, however, seem to have it mastered.

6. They practice forgiveness to themselves and others.

Two people are seated closely, holding hands tenderly. One person is wearing a brown top, the other a white shirt. The focus is on their hands, conveying a sense of comfort and intimacy. Their faces are not visible in the image.

Life is rough and people make a lot of mistakes regularly. A wonderful gift you can give yourself and other people is the gift of forgiveness and understanding. What could be more generous than the gift of compassion?

The world is full of critics and people anxious to tear each other down, so don’t be one of those people.

Give people the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them, but do balance that with keeping yourself well and healthy in the process.

Don’t accept repeated bad behavior or malicious actions as something to forgive and forget. You can forgive and let things go, just don’t forget.

7. They shine a positive spotlight on others.

A man in a business suit shakes hands with a woman in a white shirt in an office meeting room. Several colleagues in the background, seated at a table, smile and look on. The room has a large window, light-colored walls, and various office materials.

Take the spotlight off of yourself and shine it onto others who deserve it. That’s what generous people do.

Did a coworker do a great job?

Friend make an awesome advancement in their life?

Random person practice an act of kindness?

Thank them, appreciate them, and if it’s appropriate, ensure that other people know what this person did that is deserving of praise.

Naturally, not everyone is comfortable with the spotlight and there are some situations where they may not want attention.

People who engage in charitable giving or work don’t necessarily like to be praised for it.

In the context of someone doing a service for you or a coworker performing exceptionally well, it is appropriate to ensure their manager knows they are doing a great job.

8. They look for ways to compromise.

A woman in a gray blazer and a man with glasses, a beard, and arm tattoos are having a conversation at a desk in a modern office. They are facing each other with a laptop, small potted plant, and glass of water on the desk between them.

People all have their own wants and needs. Finding a middle ground with other people is really a skill unto itself, and it requires you to understand what the other person is looking for. Generous people seem to have honed this skill to perfection.

Compromise requires a person to not be selfish, because it’s about finding a mutually beneficial arrangement that both parties can be okay with.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone walks away totally happy, just that everyone has their most important needs met.

9. They forgive rude people for their actions.

Two women are sitting at an outdoor café with two disposable cups on the table. One woman with curly blonde hair is smiling and talking on a cellphone, while the other woman with straight dark hair looks at her with a neutral expression.

It’s easy to get angry at someone who is being rude for no reason.

The key to dealing with rude people is to understand that rudeness tends to stem from their own problems and difficulties in life; problems that they may be stressed out about and not handling well.

Yes, you can engage in conflict to stand up for yourself with every rude person you cross paths with, but that’s just going to ruin your mood in the process.

That doesn’t mean being a doormat and accepting the abuse of others; it’s just that many battles aren’t worth the energy to fight just to be “right.”

10. They choose actions that make sense to them.

A caregiver with red hair smiles and leans over a seated elderly woman in a wheelchair. The elderly woman, wearing glasses and a white shirt, looks up at the caregiver. They are outside in a garden setting with trees and a building in the background.

The thing about generosity and learning to be less selfish is that they are often individual paths.

What makes sense for someone else may not make sense for you.

Perhaps you don’t want to donate money, but would rather donate your time and expertise.

Perhaps you don’t have much free time to donate, but would rather donate money.

Different people have different feelings about charities and organizations.

If you figure out what you’re passionate about and focus on those avenues, you are more likely to stick with the effort over the long-term.

11. They know that generosity doesn’t have to be grand.

An older man wearing a red beanie and gloves, wrapped in a blanket, sits on the street smiling and talking with a younger man in a suit holding a coffee cup. The younger man shows something on his phone, and they appear to be enjoying a friendly conversation.

The large kindnesses, acts of charity, and generosity are all well and good. They can touch a lot of people in different ways, serving as inspiration or as a means to generate further action.

But not every act needs to be large or even loud.

It is the smallest acts of kindness that can really touch and inspire people in a way that we may not consider.

You may not have much, but choosing to share it with another person who has less can mean so much to them.

Your small acts of generosity and kindness in your life tangibly demonstrate to others that there are people who care and that the world isn’t always an unkind place.