If Someone Criticizes You, These 8 Responses Will Make You Look Bad

Don’t respond in these ways when criticized.

A man and woman, both in business attire and wearing glasses, are engaged in an intense conversation outside a modern office building. The man gestures emphatically with his hands, while the woman looks at him with a serious expression, holding one hand open.

Criticism can be tough to handle, but how you respond makes all the difference. Your reaction can either defuse the situation or make things worse. It’s important to be aware of the responses that tend to backfire so that you can steer clear of them. Here are 8 common ways people react to criticism that you might wish to avoid.

1. Making it personal.

A woman in professional attire engages in a discussion with a man across a desk in an office setting. The desk has a laptop, a potted plant, and documents, including a colorful chart. The woman is gesturing, suggesting she's explaining or emphasizing a point.

When someone criticizes you, it’s tempting to strike back with personal attacks. You might feel the urge to insult their appearance, intelligence, or character.

This approach only escalates the conflict and damages your reputation. It shifts focus away from the original issue and onto your inappropriate behavior.

Instead, try to address the criticism itself without making it about the person. Stick to the facts and keep your emotions in check.

2. Blaming others.

A man and a woman are having an intense argument in a kitchen. The man, wearing a light blue shirt, is pointing his finger at the woman, who is wearing a gray blouse. Both appear upset, with the woman gesturing with her hands. Kitchen items are blurred in the background.

When criticized, it’s tempting to point fingers at others. You might say, “It wasn’t my fault” or “Someone else made the mistake.” This response rarely works in your favor.

Shifting blame makes you appear defensive and unwilling to take responsibility. It can harm relationships and erode trust with colleagues or loved ones.

Instead of deflecting, try acknowledging your role in the situation. Consider how you might improve or learn from the experience. This approach shows maturity and a willingness to grow.

3. Getting defensive.

A man with short dark hair and a beard is standing against a blue background, wearing an orange t-shirt. He has a surprised expression on his face, with his eyebrows raised and his mouth slightly open. He is pointing at himself with his right hand.

When faced with criticism, it’s a natural reaction to feel a bit defensive. You might feel the urge to argue or justify your actions, but this often heightens tensions. Instead of listening and considering the feedback, you’re focused on protecting yourself.

Defensiveness often comes across as dismissive or hostile, damaging relationships and communication. Try to stay open-minded and calm when receiving criticism, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

4. Over-apologizing.

A woman with long hair wearing a beige turtleneck sweater stands against a white background. She holds her hands together in a prayer-like position at chest level, her facial expression appears to be pleading or apologetic.

Saying sorry a lot is not the best way to handle criticism. You might think it shows remorse, but excessive apologies can make you seem insecure or insincere. Constant apologizing may lead others to doubt your competence. It can also diminish the impact of genuine apologies when they’re truly needed.

Instead of over-apologizing, accept the feedback and focus on solutions. This approach shows you’re taking responsibility without undermining your own credibility.

5. Changing the subject.

A man and woman in business attire sit across from each other at a table in an office. The man gestures with both hands while talking, and the woman listens while holding her glasses near her mouth. Laptops, documents, and a coffee cup are on the table.

When someone criticizes you, shifting the conversation to an unrelated topic is a surefire way to make things worse. You’re not cleverly avoiding the issue because it’s such a transparent tactic.

This approach makes you appear evasive and unwilling to address the problem at hand. It can frustrate the other person and damage trust in your relationship.

Instead of changing the subject, try to engage with the criticism directly. Listen carefully and respond thoughtfully to show you’re taking the feedback seriously.

6. Playing the victim.

A blonde woman in a navy blazer is sitting at a table with two men. She appears to be mid-conversation, gesturing with her hands, showing an intent expression. The men are listening attentively. The background is a bright room with some potted plants.

When criticized, you might feel tempted to portray yourself as the helpless target of unfair treatment. This response often fails to hit the mark. It can make you appear weak and unwilling to take responsibility.

Playing the victim may also irritate the person offering feedback. They might see it as an attempt to deflect from the real issues at hand. Instead of gaining sympathy, you risk losing respect and credibility.

Try to approach criticism with an open mind. Focus on the feedback itself rather than casting yourself as a victim. This demonstrates that you wish to improve yourself.

7. Arguing publicly.

A man and a woman, both in business attire, are engaged in a heated argument, pointing fingers at each other. The woman has her hair in a ponytail, and the man's hair and beard are neatly groomed. A laptop is visible in the background.

When criticism comes your way, it’s tempting to defend yourself openly. But getting into a public argument rarely helps your case. It can make you look defensive and unprofessional.

Instead of firing back, take a deep breath. Consider addressing concerns privately if needed. Public spats often escalate and draw unwanted attention. They can destroy relationships and your reputation.

Remember, staying calm and composed in the face of criticism often speaks louder than words.

8. Ignoring the feedback.

A man in a suit with a briefcase is running along a brick building. He has glasses, facial hair, and a determined expression. The scene suggests he might be in a hurry or late for something important.

When someone offers criticism, pretending you didn’t hear it won’t make it go away. Brushing off feedback can make you seem dismissive and uninterested in improvement.

By ignoring critiques, you miss valuable opportunities to grow and learn. It may also annoy the person giving feedback, potentially weakening your relationship with them.

Instead of turning a blind eye, try to listen attentively and consider the points being made. Even if you disagree, acknowledging the feedback shows respect and maturity.