15 Signs You’re Just Going Through The Motions In Your Relationship

Are you going through the motions in your relationship?

A woman with curly hair wearing a striped shirt looks down with a pensive expression. In the blurry background, a man in a blue shirt stands with his head down and hand covering his face, appearing distressed.

Relationships can sometimes lose their spark, leaving partners feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. It’s not uncommon to find yourself simply going through the motions, rather than actively engaging in a meaningful connection with your partner.

Recognizing the signs that this is the case can be the first step toward rekindling your relationship or deciding if it’s time to move on. What follows are 15 indicators that suggest you’re no longer fully invested in your romantic partnership.

1. You no longer communicate.

A man and woman both wearing gray sweaters sit close together but facing different directions. The woman looks down with a serious expression while the man sits behind her with a thoughtful expression, slightly out of focus.

You find yourself struggling to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Conversations have become surface-level, focusing mainly on daily logistics or mundane topics. You no longer discuss your dreams, fears, or personal challenges.

When issues arise, you avoid addressing them directly, hoping they’ll resolve on their own. Your partner seems distant, and you’re unsure how to bridge the gap. You’ve stopped asking about their day or sharing details about yours.

2. You feel unappreciated.

A man and woman stand in a room with their arms crossed, looking away from each other. The woman, with blonde hair and wearing a white top, is in the foreground. The man, wearing a light blue shirt, stands slightly out of focus in the background.

You notice your partner rarely acknowledges your efforts or expresses gratitude. Small gestures of kindness go unrecognized, leaving you feeling taken for granted. You find yourself craving more appreciation and validation. When you do something nice, it’s met with indifference rather than thanks.

This lack of recognition can make you question your value in the relationship. You may start to wonder if your partner even notices your contributions anymore.

3. You don’t share interests anymore.

A man and woman stand indoors, each resting their heads against their respective hands, both looking tired or frustrated. They are casually dressed in light-colored clothing. The background shows large windows with blurred outdoor scenery.

You and your partner used to enjoy activities together, but now you struggle to find common ground. Your once-shared hobbies feel like distant memories.

When you suggest doing something together, your partner seems disinterested. You find yourselves spending more time apart, pursuing separate interests.

Conversations about each other’s passions have also dwindled. You might even feel bored when your partner talks about their hobbies.

4. You avoid serious discussions.

A man and a woman sit on a couch in a living room, both looking towards the camera with serious expressions. The man wears a blue t-shirt and the woman wears a teal t-shirt. The room has white walls with shelves, a lamp, and a framed picture in the background.

You find yourself steering clear of important conversations with your partner. When topics like the future, finances, or relationship concerns arise, you change the subject or make excuses to leave.

You might feel uncomfortable addressing these issues, fearing conflict or confrontation. Instead of tackling problems head-on, you brush them under the rug, hoping they’ll disappear on their own.

5. You suppress your feelings.

A woman with long hair, wearing a pink sweater and a watch, rests her head on her hand while sitting on a couch, looking thoughtful. A blurred person in a checkered shirt sits in the background. The scene appears to be indoors with soft lighting.

You find yourself bottling up emotions instead of sharing them with your partner. When something bothers you, you brush it off or pretend it’s not a big deal.

You might worry about upsetting your partner or simply not believe things will change by talking about it. This leads to a build-up of unresolved issues and resentment over time.

6. Your routine bores you.

A woman and a man are sitting on a couch, both holding red mugs. The woman, on the left, is pointing a remote control towards the TV. Both appear to be watching something on the TV. A clock and some home decor are visible in the background.

Your dates feel like a scripted performance rather than a genuine connection. The excitement of spontaneity has faded, replaced by predictable patterns.

You no longer look forward to spending time together. Instead, it feels like another box to check off your to-do list. The comfort of routine has transformed into a dull, uninspiring cycle.

You struggle to recall the last time you tried something new as a couple. The spark that once ignited your relationship has dimmed, leaving you feeling stuck in a rut.

7. You don’t make future plans.

A man in a navy blue shirt sits on a white couch resting his chin on his hand, appearing deep in thought. In the background, a woman in a striped sweater and jeans sits with her head tilted down and hand on her forehead, looking upset.

When you’re just going through the motions, you might notice a lack of future plans with your partner. You don’t discuss upcoming vacations or talk about where you see yourselves in a few years.

Conversations about the future feel awkward or non-existent. You may avoid making long-term commitments together, like moving in or getting a pet. This absence of shared goals can indicate a disconnect in your relationship.

It might be time to reflect on why you’re not planning ahead as a couple.

8. You aren’t physically intimate like you once were.

A woman with short brown hair and a yellow dress sits at a table, looking frustrated, while a man with short brown hair and a blue checkered shirt sits across from her, absorbed in his smartphone. Two cups of coffee and a sugar bowl are on the wooden table.

Physical closeness often wanes when your relationship is struggling. You might notice fewer hugs, kisses, or casual touches throughout the day.

Intimate moments become less frequent or feel routine rather than passionate. You may find yourself making excuses to avoid physical contact or feeling indifferent when it does occur.

This decline can extend beyond the bedroom, affecting emotional intimacy too. You might share fewer personal thoughts or feelings with your partner, creating distance between you.

10. Your arguments have no resolution.

A woman with shoulder-length hair in a yellow sweater is yelling at a man with short hair in a blue shirt, who appears frustrated and is holding his hand to his head. They are standing in a bright room with white walls and large windows.

When you argue with your partner, it feels like you’re going in circles. Disagreements never seem to reach a satisfactory conclusion. You might find yourself rehashing the same issues over and over again.

Instead of working together to find solutions, you both become defensive and withdraw. Communication breaks down, leaving problems unresolved. This pattern can leave you feeling frustrated and disconnected from your partner.

11. You don’t make the effort.

A woman lying in bed, wearing plaid pajamas, looking pensive. In the background, a man in a brown shirt sits at the edge of the bed, facing away and looking toward a bright window. The room is softly lit with a table lamp on a nightstand.

You may notice a decline in the effort you both put into your relationship. Date nights become less frequent, and spontaneous gestures of affection are rare.

Communication dwindles, with conversations becoming superficial or purely functional. Neither of you seems motivated to resolve conflicts or address underlying issues. The relationship feels like it’s running on autopilot, with little enthusiasm or energy invested in nurturing your connection.

12. You avoid spending time together.

A young woman with long brown hair stands in a grassy field. She is wearing a red sweater and looking off to the side with a thoughtful expression, her arms crossed and one hand touching her opposite shoulder. The background features blurred greenery.

You find yourself steering clear of your partner whenever possible. Maybe you’re staying late at work or making plans with friends more often. When you’re home together, you retreat to separate rooms.

You might even feel relieved when your partner isn’t around. This avoidance can be a sign that you’re no longer invested in spending quality time together or working on your relationship.

13. You feel lonely despite being together.

A young man wearing a green hoodie is sitting on a couch, playing a video game with a controller. Next to him, a young woman with curly hair, wearing a striped shirt, is reading a book. They appear to be in a cozy living room setting.

You’re sitting next to your partner, but you feel miles apart. Despite sharing the same space, there’s a disconnect that leaves you feeling isolated and alone.

You may find yourself craving deeper conversations or meaningful interactions, yet they seem out of reach. Your partner is physically present, but emotionally distant.

This loneliness can be a sign that your relationship has become more of a habit than a connection.

14. You don’t get excited by your partner or your relationship.

A woman and a man, both dressed in business attire, sit in the back seat of a car. The woman is resting her head on her hand, appearing tired. The man looks out the window, deep in thought. Sunlight streams in through the windows, illuminating the car's interior.

Remember when your heart raced at the thought of seeing your partner? Those butterflies seem to have flown away. You no longer feel a spark when you’re together.

Date nights are boring, stale. You struggle to find new things to talk about or do together. The passion and enthusiasm that once defined your relationship have faded. You might find yourself scrolling through your phone instead of engaging with your partner. Little moments that used to bring joy now feel mundane.

15. You focus on all the negatives.

A woman and a man sit back-to-back at a kitchen counter, appearing upset with each other. Both have thoughtful expressions and rest their chins on their hands. Each has a red mug in front of them, and the background shows a modern kitchen with warm lighting.

You find yourself constantly zeroing in on your partner’s flaws. Their little quirks that once seemed endearing now irritate you no end.

You dwell on their shortcomings and struggle to see their positive attributes. This negative focus can be a sign that you’re emotionally detached from the relationship.

It’s natural to notice both good and bad in a partner, but when the negatives dominate your thoughts, it may indicate your relationship is on its last legs.