9 Brutally Honest Reasons Your Man Doesn't Compliment You

Why Isn’t He Complimenting You?

A man and woman sitting on a couch by a window, smiling at each other. The man is playfully touching the woman's hair, and they appear to be in a cheerful mood, enjoying the sunlight streaming in from the window behind them.

You would love to hear someone say that you’re beautiful, charming, funny, hardworking, and intelligent…

…but you don’t hear it from the one person that it would mean the most from – your partner.

Why is it so hard for him to say nice things about you?

Is it because he doesn’t have anything nice to say about you? Well, probably not.

There are several possible reasons why your partner doesn’t compliment you. Some of them are bad, but not all. Keep reading to find out.

1. He doesn’t know how to.

A woman with wavy hair and glasses, wearing a pink jacket, smiles while holding a to-go coffee cup and sitting at an outdoor café table across from a man in a green jacket and brown hat, who also has a to-go coffee cup.

Whether giving them or receiving them, some people are just not comfortable with compliments.

If your partner has never complimented you and you haven’t noticed him complimenting anyone else, maybe he’s just not that great at complimenting people. This is especially true if he doesn’t know how to take compliments himself.

Maybe he’s not that great at expressing himself verbally, or he’s simply shy. Would you say that about him?

Does he show you love in other ways and generally make you feel good about yourself? If so, you shouldn’t be too worried about the lack of compliments. Some people simply feel awkward saying them, and you can help him if this is the problem in your case.

2. He expresses his love in other ways.

A man with a white beard and grey hair serves breakfast in bed to a woman with blonde hair. The woman, sitting up under white bedding, smiles and reaches for a cup while the man holds a wooden tray with two cups. A large abstract painting hangs on the wall behind them.

People express their love differently. While some use their words, others use physical touch, gifts, their time, or acts of service. These are the five love languages, and understanding the love language your partner uses can help you deal with the problem you face.

So, maybe he never compliments you, but does he always make time for you, lend you a helping hand when you need it, surprise you with gifts, or show his love through physical touch?

If so, he might simply speak a different love language than words of affirmation, and that’s okay. Your love language is the way you prefer to show and receive love. Does he like to receive compliments, or would he prefer that you show him love in some other way?

When you’re with a man who skimps on the compliments, the important thing to ask yourself is whether he shows you love in other ways or not. If he does, you probably have nothing to worry about. If he doesn’t, the lack of affection in general is a much bigger problem than the lack of compliments.

3. He takes you for granted.

A man with a beard sits at a kitchen table holding a fork and spoon, looking up in anticipation, with an empty plate in front of him. In the background, a woman with long hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans, is busy at the kitchen counter.

Maybe your partner used to compliment you when you first started seeing each other, but now that you’ve been together for some time, he rarely compliments you anymore.

He might feel like he doesn’t have to put any effort into winning your heart now that he has already won it. He may be thinking that there’s no way you would ever leave him. Maybe he doesn’t appreciate you enough to give you compliments, and this reflects in how he treats you.

On the other hand, maybe he has simply gotten too comfortable in the relationship and doesn’t realize that he needs to continue making the effort. Let him know that he’s making you feel insecure or unwanted by not complimenting you, and you might be pleasantly surprised with his reaction.

Your partner might not be aware of how he has been making you feel and that the simple act of giving you compliments could make you feel more secure in the relationship, and more importantly, loved.

4. He is overly critical and aware of your flaws.

A man and woman are sitting at a table by a window, having a conversation. The woman gestures with one hand while holding a glass with a drink in the other. There are croissants and cups on the table. The setting appears to be a bright, sunny room.

When people fall in love with each other, they tend to think that their partner is perfect or that they could love everything that’s imperfect about them. As they spend time together and learn more about each other, they start noticing flaws that they weren’t aware of before.

This is perfectly normal.

But sometimes a person can become too focused of your flaws, in a way that overshadows your good qualities.

Simply put, perhaps he is not as into you as he initially thought now that he can see your flaws (or what he sees as flaws) as well as all your good points.

If your partner is overly critical and can’t see your good qualities, your relationship is in trouble. If he used to compliment you, maybe he started noticing something about you that he doesn’t like, and it’s making him unsure about the relationship.

But really, this is about him, not you. Someone else wouldn’t mind that you leave your clothes on the floor or kiss them after eating a salad with garlic, but little things like these might be upsetting him to the point that he doesn’t feel like complimenting you.

5. He doesn’t compliment anyone.

A group of four people are gathered in a modern coffee shop. Two men and a woman are standing by a counter where one person is pouring coffee. The focus is on a woman in a denim shirt, and there's a woman seated at a table in the background.

The big question is: does he ever compliment anyone?

Maybe he gives compliments so rarely that it’s not even worth mentioning. If your partner never dishes out a kind word to anyone, maybe he’s uncomfortable doing so.

6. His standards are too high.

A bearded man with short hair is in the foreground, slightly out of focus, wearing a white shirt. Behind him, a woman with long, wavy hair and a white shirt is in focus, looking sideways and smiling softly. They are in a sunlit room with dark walls.

Or maybe his standards are simply too high. Maybe he expects more from you than you could possibly live up to, and he doesn’t understand that you’re doing your best.

If he occasionally compliments others, consider what it is that he considers worthy of such praise. Maybe he only compliments people who have achieved a lot in their careers or people in high-end formal clothes.

Of course, perhaps your partner doesn’t expect you to reach some unrealistic standards, but he doesn’t realize how much those sorts of nice words mean to you. You just want him to let you know when he thinks nice things about you, so try to explain that to him.

7. He doesn’t care about you or wants to break up.

A man with a beard, wearing a blue shirt, sits at a table in a café, resting his head on his hand. He has a serious expression and is looking at a woman with long blonde hair sitting across from him. Both have coffee cups in front of them.

Unfortunately, if your partner holds back the compliments, it could be because he simply doesn’t care about you enough or wants to end the relationship.

However, don’t assume this is the case just because of a lack of compliments. What’s your relationship like in general, and how does he make you feel?

If you’re not happy in your relationship and your partner makes you feel bad about yourself, he’ll be doing you a favor if he ends the relationship. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t care about you, as this lack of care will reflect in everything he does.

Ultimately, if he doesn’t treat you well, you should think about ending the relationship, even if he isn’t thinking the same. He might simply be a jerk. If everything else he’s doing (and not doing) is screaming the same answer, realize that you’re with the wrong person and walk away.

8. He thinks complimenting you isn’t important.

A woman and a man are sitting across from each other at a table in a dimly lit cafe. The woman has her hands clasped together, resting on the table, and is looking attentively at the man. The background is out of focus, showing other patrons.

Some people just don’t understand the need for compliments. Perhaps they like themselves enough and don’t need the self-esteem boost you might get when you receive them.

Or maybe they see them as insincere most of the time, and so don’t want to say kind things about you for fear of coming off as fake.

If he grew up in a household where compliments were rarely spoken, he might not understand the role they play in relationships of all kinds.

Whatever the case, he might not realize that you need to hear compliments in order to feel loved and appreciated as his partner.

9. He doesn’t know how to express himself.

A man sits beside a woman on a brown leather couch, gently placing his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner. The woman looks pensive, staring ahead, dressed in a polka dot dress. The scene is set in a cozy room with a wooden background.

How good is he with words? If he is an otherwise loving partner, but he’s not great at expressing himself or his feelings, you might have to accept that fact if nothing else works.

Maybe he’s the “strong silent type” and not much of a sweet talker. If his difficulty with expressing himself is the only thing that’s bothering you about him, you might have to learn to accept that and love him anyway.

It’s often hard for a person to change fundamental aspects of who they are. Hard, but not impossible, particularly with the right help and support. If he struggles to express his feelings in general, he may require help to get to the bottom of that and discover ways to slowly show and say those feelings more openly.