8 Ways To Get Your Man To Compliment You Without Seeming Desperate

Everyone Likes To Be Appreciated

A close-up of a smiling woman with her hair tied back, leaning in toward a person with short, dark hair whose face is partially visible. The woman is wearing a light blue top and appears to be enjoying a pleasant moment with the other person.

So, you like to be complimented now and again, but for whatever reason, your partner doesn’t oblige. What can you do about it?

1. Consider whether he’s ever complimented you.

A woman and a man sitting on a yellow couch, holding white mugs and engaged in conversation. The woman has blonde hair, and is wearing a pink striped shirt, while the man has brown hair and is wearing a light blue shirt. They are indoors with a white background.

Did your partner compliment you when you first started dating but rarely does anymore? This often happens when people get too comfortable in the relationship, and/or start taking their partner for granted.

In addition, some people assume that compliments are reserved for seduction and don’t have an important role in a committed relationship. They do, and you should help your partner understand that.

He is the one who should be most aware of your good qualities, and he should occasionally mention them to make you feel special, happy, and loved.

It’s as simple as that, but he might not think about that now that you’re in a serious relationship. Remind him and let him know that he shouldn’t stop seducing you just because you are already in his life.

2. Think about your expectations.

A man in a blue shirt and glasses smiles while talking to a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair and glasses. They are standing outdoors near some greenery. The man is holding a white cup.

Maybe he does actually compliment you, just not in the way you expect him to.

Instead of telling you that you look beautiful when you wear a new dress, he tells you that he has never tasted anything better when you prepare him a meal.

Maybe he never tells you that you’re funny, but he laughs at all your jokes.

Perhaps instead of complimenting you on your promotion, he brags to his friends about how hardworking you are.

Maybe he doesn’t say that you’re intelligent, but he threw you a graduation party when you finished college.

Whatever it may be, think about the types of compliments you’d like to hear and the ones you may be getting. You might be expecting to hear similar things to what your friends and family say about you, but he compliments you in a different way.

In addition, he might not be saying certain things like “you look beautiful” simply because he assumes that they’re understood.

3. Think about other ways he expresses his feelings.

A man and a woman sit at a café table behind a window. The woman, smiling, holds the man's hand and brings it to her mouth as if kissing it. They are both enjoying beverages, with cups and a teapot on the table. The scene is cozy and warm.

Think about all the other ways that your partner shows his love for you.

To determine this, it will help to look at the way he likes to receive love. What makes him feel most loved? Maybe words of affirmation don’t mean much to him, but he thinks that your undivided attention during quality time together is the biggest sign of love.

Or maybe appropriate physical touch is the best way to express feelings in his opinion. Perhaps he likes gifts or when someone does things for him.

Identify which of these love languages best describes his preferred way of expressing love.

If the only problem in your relationship is that you have different love languages it won’t be too difficult a thing to solve! Simply accepting that your partner speaks a different love language than you can help you better understand each other and grow your love in ways that work best for the both of you.

4. Check whether he compliments other people.

A group of six people enjoys a backyard gathering. In the foreground, an older couple is seated and holding coffee mugs. In the background, four younger individuals are standing and smiling, with greenery surrounding them. The scene is relaxed and cheerful.

Does he give compliments to anyone? If so, what are those compliments? If he can compliment others, just not you, then you have to ask yourself why.

Perhaps he thinks compliments are a means to an end. This is especially true if he compliments people only when he wants something from them or to earn brownie points for something he might want later.

Whatever it may be, figuring out when, if ever, he gives compliments to others can help you find out why he’s not complimenting you.

Maybe he rarely compliments anyone, and you can help him become more comfortable with giving compliments and understanding their importance in a relationship

You will have to talk to him about it eventually anyway, but there’s something you can try even before confronting him…

5. Give him compliments.

A man and a woman smiling and clinking wine glasses, each filled with red wine. The man has short dark hair and wears a green and blue checkered shirt. The woman has long red hair and wears a white top. They appear to be in a warmly lit setting.

How does he feel about receiving compliments? Some people hate receiving compliments so much that they don’t like to give them. Others simply don’t care about either giving them or receiving them.

Whatever reason your partner has for not giving you compliments, you can initiate things by giving him compliments first. Men need compliments too, even those who don’t like to receive them, so start complimenting him on things you like about him to remind him of how good it can feel.

If he feels uncomfortable now, maybe he’ll get used to it. Or, at the very least, he might get the picture that you would like to receive compliments from him.

Don’t only compliment him on his physical appearance, but mention things you like about his personality too.

6. Talk to him about it.

A man and woman are sitting indoors, talking and smiling at each other. The woman is holding a white mug, while the man is sitting on a bed. Soft, natural light is streaming in through a window, and there are lens flare effects in the image.

When something in the relationship is bothering you, it’s best to simply get it all out in the open.

Let your partner know that you’d like him to compliment you from time to time. When he thinks something nice about you, he should be able to say it, and he should certainly think nice things about you… unless your relationship is already in major trouble.

If you are otherwise happy in your relationship and can effectively communicate your needs and wants, introducing more compliments into your relationship shouldn’t be an issue.

Perhaps you don’t think you should have to coach him on how to treat you, but if he is an otherwise good partner and you want him to start complimenting you, you might have to start by pointing out how and when you want to be complimented.

But what if you find out he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore? If so, it’s probably not news to you. And if confronting him about his lack of compliments is what it takes to get all those other problems out in the open, you have nothing to fear. You might just have to accept that you are not right for each other.

7. Consider whether there’s a bigger problem.

A woman in a white dress and blue hat poses confidently under a wooden gazebo, her hand on her hat. In the foreground, a man in a white shirt looks down, seemingly distant. The gazebo is set in a grassy, fenced outdoor area.

When a man doesn’t compliment his partner, there might be something else going on that’s much more alarming. Maybe he doesn’t feel like you’re right for each other. So, don’t focus only on the lack of compliments, and think about your entire relationship and his behavior toward you.

Are there other signs that he doesn’t care about you? Does he seem distant and not interested in your relationship? Do you feel like you’re putting way more effort into making it work than he is? Does he constantly criticize you?

If you’re not happy in the relationship, compliments aren’t going to change that. Don’t focus on making your man give you more compliments if there are bigger issues at play.

8. Don’t tolerate being treated badly.

A man with a frustrated expression is standing in a kitchen, gesturing with his hands. A woman with a downcast expression sits at a table in the foreground, leaning her head on one hand. The scene suggests they are having a disagreement.

A boyfriend who never gives you compliments might be doing something else instead. If he makes you feel stupid, bad about yourself, and like you’re not good enough for him, don’t keep trying to become “good enough.”

A man that’s making you feel miserable instead of loved isn’t the right man for you. It’s as simple as that.

Don’t let him damage your self-esteem. Walk away from him if he doesn’t see what’s great about you.

If he constantly points out your flaws and shortcomings instead of your good qualities, he might not be aware of those good qualities in the first place. And to someone else, those good qualities will be all they’ll see.

So, if he makes you feel bad about yourself instead of complimenting you, realize that you deserve better than that and that you are “good enough” – too good, in fact, for someone who doesn’t truly care about you.